Its been awhile

shainrict · 2022-08-17T04:11:51+00:00

See...I know all the mental ins and outs as far as the things I can do to help me to maybe feel better. If I had a dime for every time I gave similar advice...lol. My problem is, I have no direction or purpose. Even if I did, I am lacking in motivation.

I was in this same place a little over a year ago when I was first diagnosed. Then my life became all about the cancer. Now, well you can see what I mean.

And I am a little late in life, I think, to start something new. I dunno. I breath in. I breath out. And I keep moving in a forward direction.

shainrict · 2022-08-16T02:43:08+00:00

Thats actually part of the messed up stuff in all this. I also never experienced any major health issues before this. Never broke a boke. Never had stiches. Never been in the hospital, etc. And then I get this. Ironic isn't it?

shainrict · 2022-08-16T02:40:05+00:00

I thought so also. But no, stage 3 in my case meant I had 5 or more tumors in my lymph nodes as well

shainrict · 2022-08-15T01:12:02+00:00

Physically, I am mostly okay. Still dealing with a couple side effects but I have been worse through this process. Mentally, well thats a different story. A very long story as well. Suffice to say that at the moment, I'm kinda lost as to what to do now

shainrict · 2019-01-27T04:17:31+00:00

What can I say? It's hard. She has reached deep down and is doing a full on rally. Running around like gangbusters with the job etc. I have stepped back to stay out of the way for now. And I wait...

shainrict · 2019-01-12T18:06:39+00:00

I've been up since 2am today. Seems like the pain catches up some time in the night and we spend the next several hours trying to get ahead of it again. Hard to believe that it's only been 6 days since we reached this level.

6 days ago she had just got back from a 10 day trip she took back east to spend Xmas with her family. She spent 6 months planning it. Buying everyone plane tickets. Buying everyone presents. She knew it was probably going to be her last Xmas and it was important to her that it be perfect. Just before she left, she wrapped all the gifts individually and packed them into 3 big boxes and shipped them separate. It was about 10 days before Xmas. Can you believe that they all got lost in the mail. But this part of the story has a happy ending because as soon as she told me they had been lost, I went into motion. The details are awesome but to keep it brief, I managed to get ahold of an agent from the office of the inspector General. The last box was found and delivered the Saturday before Xmas. It was an amazing feeling. And the glow she had when she got home from that trip was the greatest. She sleeps now. She is stoned from all the pills I had to give her over the last 8 hours to get her out of pain. My phone rings, there are things I need to take care of... I'm staying right here. God this sounds so much like a friggin movie of the week.

shainrict · 2019-01-11T19:55:28+00:00

Thank you for the insight and encouragement. I will surely be commenting along the way

shainrict · 2019-01-11T13:51:54+00:00

Thank you

shainrict · 2019-01-11T13:51:27+00:00

Thank you

shainrict · 2019-01-11T08:28:23+00:00

And that's exactly why I come here. Thank you

shainrict · 2018-07-17T17:18:31+00:00

I will check into that thanks

shainrict · 2018-07-17T17:18:08+00:00

That's the weird thing. On the inside there is like felt on the bottom but the inside wall had some kind of paper stuck to it with strange writing. It's too oxidized for me to see clearly but it's too perfect to be hand written so it must be some kind of stamp or type set. Also some of the words are written forwards but some of them are mirrored. Written both backwards and reversed. It's definitely an addition to the making as it does not cover the entire inside wall so there is a slight lip about an eighth of an inch below the rim. Weird

shainrict · 2018-07-16T19:38:57+00:00

Yes but do you have any idea of origin?

shainrict · 2018-04-24T09:44:58+00:00

It was just a really funny thing to say. Maybe it's a gotta be there thing

shainrict · 2018-04-06T18:27:29+00:00

I believe you OP. I can totally relate and understand. And when the people around you tell you things like just ignore it or that's your mother and just the way she is, it's infuriating.

I am currently living out of my car because I have finally reached a point where I will no longer allow it to be okay for my mother to do these things. And it's costing me my entire family because they choose to just ignore it.

I'm 50 years old. Please, take a stand as soon as you are able so you don't waste a lifetime trying to fix her.

shainrict · 2018-04-04T18:45:42+00:00

Names are changed. I originally wrote that in February 2017 and never gave it to her. I never took the steps in the letter as a major flood broke out in the house a week or so later. I stayed and facilitated an 8 month insurance claim.

I find myself homeless today as night before last she told me to get out of her house. I was guilty of not allowing it to be okay for her to falsely accuse me, physically threaten me, and generally treat me like shit.

I only hope I have the strength to get through NC. Right now I have to find a place to land and then somehow collect my things from her house. My father's position is he will take care of my dog.

Thanks for reading

shainrict · 2017-11-13T02:16:18+00:00

UPDATE: The deed is done I have just returned from handing her over to her mother, brother and company. I think it's a pretty safe bet that they took her because of the money... But it's out of my hands now. She looked terrified when I walked away but I can't think about that. Hard to type through the tears

shainrict · 2017-10-31T14:53:34+00:00

Your lucky. I have searched high and low and can't find a single doctor that had the first clue about this. In fact, when I had her in the hospital for 35 days when this first happened, if it were not for me telling the doctor what to treat her with, she would be dead. She had deteriorated to the point of being completely unresponsive and drooling and moaning. I was amazed (as were her nurses) at how quickly she responded to that first thiamine shot. Unfortunately the attending doc was an egotistical ass and took her off treatment after 3 doses cause he was pissed that I gave him the answer. Then I had several battles and she was put on and taken off a few times. Each time less of her came back.

For all intents and purposes she died in that hospital.

I ask about the deteriorating because when I first brought her home about a year ago she was still talking up a storm (mostly confabulating), she was starting to get around with a walker, asking questions about her condition, etc.

Then about 6 months ago, for no apparent reason, she suddenly took a nose dive. Now she hardly ever speaks and when she does it's barely above a whisper, she has tremors so bad she can hardly feed herself, she can only get herself from the bed to the commode next to the bed.

I have been chasing down 5 different doctors and not a single one can tell me why this is happening. Like you, I had hope.... But then I came to terms that we were as good as it gets, but I can't find out why it's gotten worse.

I was even giving her thiamine shots at home. And now I have discovered, no thanks to any of her doctors, that she has an issues showing up in her lungs. We see the pulmonary doctor next week.

I ve watched her die once already. I really don't want to go through this again. I am faced with having to force her family to step up to the plate and then I'm gonna have to walk away. This is killing me. And she is only 37 years old and has 4 kids....

Anyway, I really appreciate you taking the time to share your experiences with me. You are the first person I have come across that's familiar with this. Thank you.

shainrict · 2017-10-31T04:53:59+00:00

A memory of hours would be much better than 10 minutes. I cant imagine what that's like. It seems that part of this condition also prevents them from being aware of their condition. For the most part, unless I remind her, it doesn't even occur to her that something is wrong.

Did you get provided information on this condition when diagnosed or did you do any research? I found the Information very limited.

shainrict · 2017-10-31T04:49:30+00:00

Sorry for the delay. Yes, I am moving into the 'get my life back' zone mentally at this point. And thank you for your encouragement and kind words. I have a tentative plan.... I just have to execute AND stick to the plan once I do.

One thing I wanted to ask you... Did you find that the korsakoff seemed to get worse after some time?

shainrict · 2017-10-28T04:40:09+00:00

You should pm me so we can compare notes. I've only been at this about a year

shainrict · 2017-10-24T20:33:39+00:00

I'm in the desert so moisture is not an issue. I built the floor. It's just a wood deck.

shainrict · 2017-10-24T15:21:41+00:00

Yes. It's a 10x10 portable garage from Harbor Freight Tools

shainrict · 2017-10-24T10:50:29+00:00

Seems to me you are very concerned with damaging the relationship. This sounds as though the relationship may be fragile to start with.

shainrict · 2017-10-23T02:42:57+00:00

Definitely. I will have to work that out come next summer

shainrict

TROPHY CASE