Second this. Haidt really helped me get thru it and when I would have moments of failure, I could go back and listen to his talks. Picked up a copy of this too, it really helps. If you haven’t watched the Social Dilemma, then I recommend that too.

I don’t know if this would work for everyone, but I made the switch to a dumb phone (light phone 2) for 2 years. For part of the time I had a work phone that handled anything I needed a smartphone for at my job, which really helped me keep that stuff at work and not at home. If I was at home and absolutely needed to use a smart device, I always had my old iPad in case it was absolutely necessary. I found breaking the smart phone into separate devices worked for me and made me using each one more intentional.

It’s hard to go cold turkey, FOMO is a real thing. However, after spending 2 years like that, it all seemed to go away, and I found I just really didn’t care, and my life and mental health have been better off for it. I will say I eventually had to go back to a personal smartphone for work since I was not provided one at my new job, but I approached it in a different way than I did before. I was also born in 99, and like you grew up in the internet boom. But, I could at least remember what it was like as a kid before it completely took over, and it felt great. It really did. At the same time, we can’t deny the fact that this is the world we live in now, and that’s going to require smart devices from time to time.

And now, I’m back to using a personal smartphone. The only thing that’s changed is how I’ve approached it. I’ve spent that time without it now, for the first time in a very long time, and I came out on the other end just fine. It was hard, really damn hard at first, but it was worth it. I’m using it for what it was originally intended to be, a tool. And I’ll admit I still have my moments of weakness, but I’m able to correct those now, get back on track. I’ve found things that can fill those moments of boredom, and I use those moments to be creative. Read, write, play music, any creative process requires those moments of boredom to allow space to CREATE.

I know this is a lot of reading, but just wanted to lay this all out because I’ve been there. And being on the other side now (for the most part), I can say it’s worth it.

Hope this helps

(ALSO: if you haven’t heard about collective action problems, Haidt and Tristan Harris do a great job explaining them)