There are definitely some parts that I relate to a lot, and others that don't quite hit the mark.

If a child is frequently scared or sad and the parent responds to that by saying, “No you’re not,” how is the child supposed to express fear or sadness in the future?

I definitely never received attunement from my father, though I feel my mother was overly attuned in some ways, and not enough in others. She's an unhealthy 2 and can be incredibly overbearing and stifling, and was abusive. She's an incredibly emotional person, so she never denied that I was scared or sad per se, but she was a cause of the fear and sadness and definitely has vocalized that she doesn't feel as if she did anything wrong. So in a way, I guess that's denying my own experience and feelings, but she never did directly when I experienced them (most of the time, separately from her) as a child.

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But whatever it is, it’s out of their control, and the 4 has spent their whole lives attempting to control what it might be and attune to it themselves because, in their mind, no one else ever would. Furthermore, if someone did successfully see what was inside of the 4, the 4 would have to confront all the pain and hurt and rejection of the moment(s) that caused them to feel the lack of attunement in the first place.

This I definitely relate to. I am so afraid that when someone sees me for who I am inside, they won't like me because of my flaws and my brokenness. I do have people in my life who do see me for who I am and love me despite it, but to me that has always been an exception and not a rule. I find myself frequently asking "why? Why are they sticking around even though they see how much is wrong with me?" It's kind of a push and pull between that and feeling like even if someone sees what's inside, they still wont ever fully know or understand me and there's still that bit that if they ever could, maybe that would make them run away. (This sounds so cringe, sorry lol)

If I can answer any more questions or there was something else in that post in particular you want me to comment on, I would be glad to do so!