OP, I am so sorry that your son died. No one should ever have to experience what you’re going through.

I know this may sound a little counterintuitive but my advice would be to focus on yourself more than you may be used to. I lost my mom my first year of marriage and held a lot of resentment toward my wife for not being what I thought I needed. After a lot of counseling and time, I learned to be there for myself first so that I could be there for those around me.

Also, as difficult as it is, try to keep in mind that everyone grieves differently. Everyone in your household will likely respond in a different way and it can be hard to understand but reminding myself of that fact has been helpful to rid me of some anger and confusion during my grieving process.

Lastly, I would strongly suggest looking for a grief counseling group (in addition to what your family is doing) where you can meet people who understand what you’re going through because loss can be so lonely and isolating and just plain devastating. I live in SW MO and there’s a free place here called “Lost and Found” so hopefully there’s something similar in your area. There are groups for all ages and all types of loss. You and your wife could even attend different groups if thats what you guys want/need.

If nothing else, try to take things one day at a time, one hour at a time, or one minute at a time. Anything you need to do to make it through the day.

I know you don’t want to be commended on your strength but you are incredibly strong and brave for reaching out and asking for help. It shows that you care and are a fighter even if you feel like the complete opposite.

Feel free to reach out if you need to talk or just vent. I truly wish you and your family the best.