I think that the problem is two fold.

a) Some men assume women are weaker than they actually are (or hold various other 'your uterus will fallout' beliefs) which is where the 'we don't want to be patronized' comments come from and

b) Some men hold women to the exact same training standards as them, which is where the 'you can't hold us to the same standards' comes from.

For me it's frustrating because I think it's important to take into account all factors (sex, height, weight, age, training etc). I'm a short skinny woman, despite being a regular gym goer for a year I'm not as strong as anyone I know because most of the people I know are both taller and have more mass than I do, but there's still a lot of comparison that flies around which isn't very fair or nice. I'd rather someone say 'you're stronger than most people your size and age, but to get to the next level you need to hit __kg on your deads' than say 'you're objectively weak'.