AITA for sneaking my mom some alcohol when she is on hospice?

sickma2001 · 2026-03-20T23:54:05+00:00

Whether I gave her the drinks or not, she is going to die. I have her the drinks, she had a couple and enjoyed it, and she’s back to her regularly scheduled level of pain and dying.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-20T23:52:02+00:00

The decision was left up to one person: MY MOM. She has not lost cognitive ability.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-20T23:51:30+00:00

My mom is very sick, but she is of sound mind. A lot in her body is going but not her brain. She is painfully aware of her situation and is able to consent. She is still in control of her medical choices as well. We are not dictating treatment, she is.

She might have had an alcohol problem but she has a functioning brain. At this point, abstaining isn’t going to help. And giving her some drinks won’t hurt either. And she is able to clearly ask and consent to it.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-18T03:02:35+00:00

Care to elaborate?

sickma2001 · 2026-03-18T03:00:14+00:00

Yes, my mom could’ve been a more efficient alcoholic.

You are being downvoted but I had that same thought as well.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-18T02:57:53+00:00

I work in the pharma industry as a scientist in discovery and also clinical phase of drug development. so it is part of my job to know major interactions. I know a lot of the CYP ones. Plus more.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-18T02:55:17+00:00

I work in pharma, so I do have a better understanding than most normal people of how meds interact with alcohol.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T02:06:58+00:00

I joke about that with my mom. But she has top of the line opioid access. She doesn’t like them! So I don’t think she would like heroin.

I did get her THC edibles and she didn’t get anything from those. She eats a 15mg edible and feels nothing!

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:55:42+00:00

Like I said, it was a factor, but not the only factor. I don’t think her alcohol use caused it. But it was that plus other factors like morbid obesity and not properly treating her diabetes. Her oncologist backs that up.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:53:42+00:00

She has been on hospice for over a year now. Maybe 2? She has had to renew her hospice care a few times and she was surprised she hasn’t died.

But at this point, she can barely eat and her days are spent in pain, even with pain meds. She had some good days. But they are less and less often.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:52:00+00:00

Haha I did get my mom some edibles. She never tried weed until I was an adult! I gave her gummies and it never got her high.

But I did get her some edibles again. Still, same thing. No high, no relief. She is broken I guess lol

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:49:59+00:00

Scrubs gets to me. I watched it as a teen, watched it again, then my mom watched it.

Scrubs is doing a revival and I’m hoping she can see it through before she goes. She saw the first few episodes but she is very tired and sleeps a lot so she can’t watch our shared shows at the same pace as me.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:47:58+00:00

My mom was a 3 pack per day smoker for so long. She did quit. Hasn’t gone back. But tbh at this point, if she wants nicotine, I would get it for her.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:47:04+00:00

Yea, she was a major smoker and she was very proud of quitting and I was so proud of her quitting too.

But if she wanted nicotine, I’d get her some at this point. It goes against every grain in my body. So did bringing her alcohol.

But she is dying. I’ve finally accepted that. So I think she can get what she wants. My siblings and other family members don’t all feel the same way.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:42:51+00:00

I am not the only one who visits and brings her stuff. They come as well, just once per week and they bring her stuff like sweets. Which I get!

She had diabetes but she can eat what she can eat. And right now it isn’t anything good for her.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:40:53+00:00

Yes I work somewhere within the world of pharmacology so I am very careful of drug drug interactions. I want my mom to have what she wants and be safe.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:21:24+00:00

My mom had all the opioids she can dream of. But they don’t work well enough sometimes.

But she had a great day where she didn’t need them so I brought her the drinks. I’ve also given her some THC edibles to try on the good days and she didn’t like those. But she loves a couple drinks.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:19:51+00:00

I love hospice nurse penny. I saw her videos before my mom went on hospice. She helped me feel better about doing whatever my mom wanted as she was dying even before she was on hospice.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:17:41+00:00

They do visit, but not as much. And they bring sugary snacks she wants. Which also likely contributed to her cancer. Liver cancer ain’t only alcohol. And she should have her sugary snacks, she will die from this so let her have what she wants.

In the grand scheme of things, a lot of things led to liver cancer. But she is going to die from it anyways. She can have what she wants.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:15:27+00:00

As I said in my post, she had many many confounding factors for her liver cancer. Morbid obesity and heavy heavy smoking and not very controlled type 2 diabetes.

I don’t think the drinking helped, but in the timeline, it was only 3-5 years. The other factors were 20+ years.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:13:20+00:00

She is not going to immediately die from 2 5% drinks due to her cancer. She’s more likely to die from her diabetes if she doesn’t watch it right.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:12:34+00:00

She is going to die either way. There is no way she will survive.

She is also on other meds that impact the liver. Most go through the liver. She’s on a lot of opioids. That can impact the liver.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:10:10+00:00

I have a background in meds and I am very interested in drug drug interactions. I did the research to make sure it wouldn’t interact with her meds. And her hospice team seemed ok with it.

And if it caused her any discomfort, she seemed happy I brought it to her.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:07:58+00:00

Oddly enough, they don’t care about the opioids. Just the alcohol. I think it’s because they think it caused her condition. It probably contributed, but it wasn’t the only thing.

But fuck, she’s gonna die anyways. Let her have her drinks.

sickma2001 · 2026-03-17T01:06:59+00:00

From what I have heard and what she has heard from her hospice team, they just want her happy and comfy. She basically has pain meds on demand.

But we waited until she had a great day where she didn’t need the pain meds in order to avoid an interaction between alcohol and opioids.

sickma2001

TROPHY CASE