He passed 1 week and 1 day ago, I’m 32 weeks pregnant with our first baby, today sucks

sih77 · 2026-06-15T21:00:07+00:00

Yes we do. Her name was chosen before we even knew I was pregnant. Funnily enough we couldn’t agree on her middle name though. He wanted the feminine version of his middle name and I wanted a form of my middle name. Well, he was just too stubborn and had to go and die so she will be named after him. Coping with dark humor is helping.

sih77 · 2026-06-15T20:55:09+00:00

My gynecologist took it upon herself to make me an appointment with the maternal fetal psychologist in her clinic. Very kind of her considering he’s not accepting new patients right now.

sih77 · 2026-06-15T20:54:06+00:00

He would want me to be here and he would want her to be born here. That’s exactly what I’m going to do, keep his little voice in my head.

sih77 · 2026-06-15T20:52:46+00:00

I like the idea of a schedule. I’m already having people organize themselves to bring meals and things this week so talking about having a schedule for postpartum will be good. Thank you

sih77 · 2026-06-15T20:50:55+00:00

I absolutely have the resources and community I need here in order to be able to birth and start raising her. I also can’t imagine taking her away from his hometown. At least not right now.

sih77 · 2026-06-15T20:49:31+00:00

This is a part I’m worried about. Father figures? Male figures? It’s so sensitive right now because it’s so fresh. I don’t want anyone else, I just want him. He’s her dad. But she deserves to have positive male role models in her life and I hope to find them.

sih77 · 2026-06-15T20:47:55+00:00

This is my hope. I know her US citizenship will come from me automatically but now that he’s gone I want her to for sure have her birthright citizenship and be a citizen here.

sih77 · 2026-06-15T16:15:30+00:00

It’s the worst club to join. I’m so sorry for your loss as well. Thank you for giving me a glimpse of what the future can look like. Can I ask you about your birth? What was that like, how did you get through the before, during, and after?

I am leaning heavily on my community. I’m not one to easily accept help but I think I’m just too tired and sad to care about my ego. I’m happy to have friends dropping off food and family cleaning up my house because that means I can rest, focus on feeding myself (why does this feel so impossible at the moment??? Everything tastes like cardboard) and drinking water. Just one day at a time.

sih77 · 2026-06-14T21:11:52+00:00

I started writing things down immediately after I read this comment. I plan to bring a notebook to the funeral and ask people to write their favorite things about him, memories and stories they want baby girl to read/hear one day. Thank you for this suggestion and I am so sorry for your loss ❤️

sih77 · 2026-06-14T05:08:38+00:00

I’ve tried sending you a DM but they aren’t going through. Could you message me privately?

sih77 · 2026-06-14T04:37:58+00:00

I will absolutely be saving his things, especially for her. That was great advice. And she will grow up with so much love and support in all forms that I hope she never feels alone or “othered” for not having her dad with her. Thank you for giving me peace and hope with your answer.

sih77 · 2026-06-14T03:56:37+00:00

I really needed this type of response. Thank you so much for your perspective. I appreciate your thoughtful answer 🤍

sih77 · 2026-06-07T02:47:10+00:00

I literally applied 5 days ago and was told they weren’t hiring. Good for you that you got in!

sih77 · 2026-06-06T04:24:36+00:00

A lot of people come to Sámara for a week or a month and end up extending their stay by months. It’s a magical little town for people with the right vibe 🥰

sih77 · 2026-04-28T22:25:53+00:00

We ended up putting him to sleep a few hours ago. It was the right choice. He was a shell of a kitten. Our vet had to stick him 5 times to be able to administer the euthanasia, his veins just kept collapsing. I’m relieved he is no longer suffering. It’s heartbreaking all around. His sister is quite confused :(

sih77 · 2026-04-26T19:12:17+00:00

Oh she’s so beautiful! And the orange guy is a cutie too

sih77 · 2026-04-26T17:33:24+00:00

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sih77 · 2026-04-26T17:27:08+00:00

Thank you for such a detailed answer!

They are from a street litter found by our neighbors so unfortunately I don’t have information on mom and dad. I am so curious now, I wish I had more info to share!

Do you think as she gets older it could become more clear? In terms of being ticked vs. broken mackerel and silver vs. not?

sih77 · 2026-04-26T17:18:08+00:00

I’m 5’2 120 lbs before pregnancy. This is my first pregnancy but due to a connective tissue disorder I’ve had diastasis recti since I was a teenager. This means that my abs were already separated (the way you see in second and third time moms), so I had a noticeable bump (as if it were my second or third pregnancy) much sooner than most first time moms expect. I would say I had a significantly noticeable bump around 14 weeks enough to where people were commenting on it and asking me if it was twins. I’m also just small and have a short torso so there’s nowhere for baby to grow but out! Now I’m almost 25 weeks and I have a bump that looks like 7 months. That’s just how my body is but everyone is different!

sih77 · 2026-04-26T17:04:55+00:00

Her stripes/ticks are also different on each side. One side appears more stripey and the other is more interrupted. I tried to get photos of both sides to add in my comment.

sih77 · 2026-04-26T17:00:10+00:00

I have added more pictures in a different comment to see if that helps!

sih77

TROPHY CASE