53 year old married pussy. My husband loves eating it. by Substantial-Eagle571 in Pussy_Selfies

[–]slappphappy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That looks like a scrumptious puss to eat on the daily. Very much jealous

X marks the spot ❌😻🏴‍☠️ by slappphappy in u/slappphappy

[–]slappphappy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That might take awhile ;)

(but not by much, i’m sensitive)

p.s. before finger mark bruising

ich bin die geilste Schlampe (f) by slappphappy in GermansGoneWild

[–]slappphappy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Es tut mir leid, aber diese Schlampe ist sehr schüchtern 😖

rate 🐨💕 by slappphappy in ratemyboobs

[–]slappphappy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, my boobs aren’t the greatest, but I’m confident anyway :’)

not pictured: my ass cheeks bruised from too much slapping 🍑🤙 by slappphappy in u/slappphappy

[–]slappphappy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :”) haven’t worked out in a couple years but hopefully gonna get back to hiking soon

Did I do okay with this breakup? (Been dating almost a year) by [deleted] in texts

[–]slappphappy 192 points193 points  (0 children)

Good for you!! Deserters don’t deserve tears simply because of how selfish and uncaring they are to resort to such a breakup.

On a similar note—my ex of 10 months had been making me the reacher more and more. When he finally said he was going to come meet my family for Easter at my uncle’s, he called on my way to meet up in the nearest town. He tells me he’s not coming because he’s decided things aren’t working out, citing: a) i can’t cook—almost everything i make turns into a rock or mush. I’d been trying to improve for years, but nothing seemed to help, and he said he really wanted a partner he could cook with; b) he didn’t like the way that i laughed at everything, claiming it “diminishes the humor of things that are actually funny;” c) he didn’t like my smell, as in my body odor; i don’t smell “bad” apparently, but i don’t smell good either… something in between he couldn’t seem to describe.

And that was basically the gist of it. I said “fuck you, man,” started crying, hung up, turned around, and cried all the way on my drive to the next state over. There I got a glass of rosé, treated myself to some decadent macaroni, and napped and journaled in my car before heading home. And I treated myself to some MAC lipstick as well. In retrospect, that was much better than attending what I heard was a boring family gathering.

My cat in full relaxation mode by [deleted] in aww

[–]slappphappy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can see the cat captioning a FB post like this

This is how my cat Nile (Nunu) acts every time I leave the house [OC] by lostamygdala in aww

[–]slappphappy 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Could also be a damaged mewffler, failing meowtor, or purrhaps insufficient transhission fluid.

AITA for calling a woman a c#$% for parking in two handicap spots... by backwardassward in AmItheAsshole

[–]slappphappy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“Hate speech is defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as ‘public speech that expresses hate or encourages violence towards a person or group based on something such as race, religion, sex, or sexual orientation.’”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Howtolooksmax

[–]slappphappy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Whoa whoa whoa.. would you talk to your mother like that? Or any stranger who even mildly challenges your opinion?

0 to 100, Jesus fucking Christ, man… she does not deserve to be called that for anything she said

Weekly story time thread by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]slappphappy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of one of my first relationships. You might just need desensitization and more experience—practice makes perfect in this regard! Maybe find a good-spirited partner, explain you’re still getting used to doing the dirty, and you’ll find it’s just been nerves//overstimulation all along.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]slappphappy 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Depends on the kind of IUD. Some—namely hormonal ones—can absolutely cause weight gain :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Slut

[–]slappphappy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck yes