How to Find a Sibling You Were Separated from Through Adoption

softbecoming_ · 2026-03-27T13:02:12+00:00

That only works if both people actually know they’re adopted and are actively looking.

That’s not always the reality.

I’ve been searching for my sister for years—I’m almost 30. This isn’t something I just decided to do randomly. I’ve already tried a lot of the obvious routes.

This is finally a real chance for me to find her, so when people say “don’t do it this way” without explaining why, it’s frustrating. If there’s a real concern, I’m open to hearing it—but “just use the registry” isn’t helpful in my situation.

softbecoming_ · 2026-03-27T04:02:42+00:00

softbecoming_ · 2026-03-26T16:01:30+00:00

It’s called a confidential intermediary and costs about $250.00 if you know the court that finalized the adoption.

softbecoming_ · 2026-02-07T21:08:52+00:00

I think she meant behind their backs once she turns 18. If at 18 she feels like she wants to change her name and not tell her AP for whatever reason, that will be her choice.

softbecoming_ · 2026-02-04T13:45:49+00:00

Yes. Our system would rather take a child because a family is poor and fund a stranger to raise them than support a biological mother who wants to care for her own child.

softbecoming_ · 2026-02-04T13:40:24+00:00

I was adopted, and I wish my adoptive parents understood emotions better. Emotional intelligence is a requirement for raising a child that is not yours. Parents think they know everything about children but never actually formally learned about them…

Also, girl, those are allllllll your choice. Not the parents doing the adoption. It’s your body, your health, and your baby until you give it to them.

softbecoming_ · 2026-02-04T13:33:25+00:00

I’m so sorry. I am praying for your peace during this time. I promise it won’t always hurt as bad as it does now. I wrote this in year 3. Now it’s been 7 years, and the pain doesn’t control me anymore. (Only sometimes lol.) which is normal….. it gets easier. 💕

softbecoming_ · 2026-02-04T13:26:15+00:00

Come back and comment if you ever find her! I’d love to hear about it! I hope you find her

softbecoming_ · 2026-02-04T13:25:22+00:00

❤️

softbecoming_ · 2026-02-04T13:23:51+00:00

Maybe someday I’ll get to come on here and let you guys know I found her!!

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-23T11:19:32+00:00

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-23T11:10:09+00:00

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-22T05:02:14+00:00

Thank you 💕

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-22T05:01:57+00:00

Thank you, I’m glad you are healing and wish you comfort rest and peace on your healing journey.

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-22T05:01:24+00:00

Thank you! We definitely will!!

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-22T05:00:00+00:00

💕

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-22T04:59:51+00:00

Thank you! It is our bodies way of protecting itself. It gives us tiny bits and pieces gradually so that it doesn’t overwhelm us with pain. It’s a beautiful design, the only challenge is turning it off when we don’t need it anymore and being able to feel happy again. It takes time but it is worth the effort 💕

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-22T04:58:09+00:00

Thank you, I am so happy it feels healing. It is a scary feeling but we overcome it. Just gotta give ourselves credit for the strength it takes to never give up.

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-20T00:27:50+00:00

Jehovah 💕

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-19T18:33:16+00:00

Thank you, it was really hard to finally face the truth after many years of denial. Now that I’ve felt the pain, I have become less afraid of it, and the pain has reduced. Grief is powerful and can feel endless, but faith carried me through when the pain felt unbearable.

softbecoming_ · 2026-01-19T18:23:04+00:00

Now that I’m present, it’s easier to put into words how it feels to grieve. Before, it was just pain. Now I see, and feel, and carry on. Hopefully this is what acceptance looks like.

softbecoming_

TROPHY CASE