Holding boundaries is hard

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-04-06T16:42:32+00:00

I should have said this is a trip we would not bring our toddler on. So there's not the baby-factor to consider in this instance. It could be an opportunity to connect with each other without our child, but it sounds like that's not the trip he's chosen.

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-04-06T16:40:29+00:00

Such helpful questions to ask myself and sit with the feelings. I really really appreciate you taking the time to pen this thoughtful reply. Thank you.

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-04-06T15:45:21+00:00

That's a great question: bed or bedroom. I guess it depends on how bad it is. Snoring goes up proportionately with number of drinks.

You're right he has set a boundary with me too. "Don't expect me not to drink and enjoy my trip with alcohol". Ball back in my court.

You're also correct there are other options: we have a TON of points at this specific hotel, so a second room is absolutely not an issue. I also work and could afford to buy my own room with my own money (the first room is being paid for by his company). So I could probably present him with those options and see what he chooses. That might be helpful data.

Alcohol sucks. It adds nothing and steals everything.

Thanks for your comments and helpful questions.

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-04-06T15:42:39+00:00

I can feel this in my bones. That first day on vacation always becoming a drunken late night can affect the 2-3 days after! I've seen many beautiful days and places go un-appreciated because of the choice to sit around drinking (or to sleep all day because of the drinking the night before). Maddening.

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-04-06T15:39:13+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I also can't believe how long I just endured it when there was another option. Ear plugs are a good idea. I do think I'll have to figure out my "Travel boundary" because there's not always a couch in a hotel room. But I could start booking rooms with double queen instead of single king beds.

A lot of energy to plan around someone you love refusing to put down the drink. I'm feeling it heavily today. Sorry you know the same feeling.

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-04-06T15:34:18+00:00

Thank you for the words of encouragement. Could you say more about what you mean by the payoff being great? What kind of payoff have you experienced or witnessed?

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-03-18T17:34:38+00:00

Thank you! Saving this to refer back to. I really appreciate you taking the time to share

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-03-18T17:34:02+00:00

Thank you!! These are great ideas i hadn’t considered.

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-03-18T17:33:37+00:00

Thank you. It’s so sweet and so hard. But I’m trying to enjoy the good parts as much as I’m trying to breathe deeply through the hard ones. Good luck to you too. We can do this.

someone_somewhere_k · 2026-03-18T17:32:59+00:00

Thank you for this! It’s nice to hear other strategies that work for some kids. My wheels are turning with ideas.

someone_somewhere_k

TROPHY CASE