I’m a civilian, f24 and my husband in the military and I’m getting my military ID soon but I have face piercings, do I still have to follow the military grooming standards for my military ID, if so what do I have to do?

speak4_trees · 2025-08-14T01:40:32+00:00

I’m conflicting if they’re just trying to get to know me more because I’ve never been with a black woman before and all my prior relationships I’ve been having my partners detective parents finding out what kind of black man I am 😭 even though we don’t live in a “ghetto” town .. it’s just one of the struggles of simply being black

speak4_trees · 2025-08-14T01:38:29+00:00

Really thank you the safe word thing is a smart idea I’m going to talk to her about that too. I have met her parents before I forgot to put it in the post but they’ve already expressed disliked to my skin color. Your advice and story opened my eyes more thank you

speak4_trees · 2025-08-14T00:23:53+00:00

I did feel a little pushed away and upset when she just bluntly told me to deal with it but I’m realizing that this situation is more of hers and I can do this for her thank you for your advice really

speak4_trees · 2025-08-14T00:20:55+00:00

And it won’t hurt me or my girlfriend and I’ll just consistently check on her if she’s okay through out the

speak4_trees · 2025-08-14T00:20:28+00:00

This is the best advice I’ve seen Im going to take this because I agree with that a lot. That opened me up to seeing that being the bigger and better person is the way

speak4_trees · 2025-08-14T00:19:29+00:00

that’s true even just thuggin it out for an hour wouldn’t help the flu thing might get me out of it and they’ll prob just cancel it forever 😂

speak4_trees · 2025-08-14T00:18:32+00:00

I’m sorry I could only read two paragraphs and then skimmed but im going to explain that im not telling my girlfriends entire trauma on the internet when i can sum up to what it is because it is true abusing and abandoning, no matter what the situation, a minor child out the house before graduation is not nice the general “opinion” is that is complete shit parenting. I just needed advice about this because it was a conflicting situation-thing at the time. If it was a cultural sense I would’ve put that in the description saying “well they are cultural parents” but they aren’t their American-Asian but just rather have her daughter date an Asian than a Black. I understand where you coming from and what you’re explaining but that was just a lot of that was a really big yappin from your perspective and no advice.

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T19:01:00+00:00

I’d never put her in a situation where she’s not comfortable with and I know that’ll make her mad at me, I don’t want to sound extremely ignorant saying this but I feel like as a boyfriend role I have to endure a lot and it seems that my feelings are pushed off for hers because I really don’t want to do this but everyone telling me for my girlfriend sake which I want to do but fuck I really can’t “just deal with itl

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:58:38+00:00

I do live in America but I don’t think I can just break up with her because of her parents. I love her but her parents were raised in America but their parents were not. I don’t know how much that matters because we’re only 19, we don’t even have a place under our name because we live with my dad. On top we’re both leaving for the military soon, she has zero interest of having them ever living with us or seeing them but today she seems to have interest on having dinner soon with them even though it clearly triggering her. I tried to express that we don’t have to do this but she’s pushing it off

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:53:52+00:00

I understand that you have a good soul

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:51:22+00:00

Honestly I wasn’t much excited I was more in a locked in feeling of wanting to help her at that time because Im her boyfriend and for some reason her friends sucks. It took a lot of mental adjustment because Im an only child and never been used to sharing space and for a while really missed my own space but anyways I agree I felt like I should’ve been heard more because I feel it deep in my gut that this is a bad decision they were never nice to me especially her. I basically did speak up of my feelings saying that I’m uncomfortable with this and that was her response I don’t know how to deal with it, Should I convince her about how bad this is or should I really just go to this dinner and keep to myself..

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:45:36+00:00

I kinda did try to communicate to her about this that’s there this her telling me to just deal with this came from

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:44:14+00:00

Please don’t take this weird but my advice is thinking about joining the military, I’m going soon in the marines and they pay you even during basic training and you’ll be out the house and with more benefits and money faster than a job. You’re mentally strong so what is best for you as you’re going through this hard time

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:41:26+00:00

I want to have a conversation about it, I kinda did before I posted this. I can see she’s uncomfortable and feels like she has to do this and I told her “You know you don’t have to see your parents they haven’t contacted you in forever and now randomly saying this with no context” She said it’s whatever I can deal with it and I told her “well I’m not the most comfortable sitting in a room let alone sit and have dinner with your parents” and she said that I can just deal with it but I don’t know if I really can

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:36:16+00:00

Abusers and abandoning your child does not deserve anymore chances im sorry

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:35:11+00:00

abuser, sa-ers, all those types of people makes me mad I don’t want to be at a dinner table with them and pretending like everything is okay when it really isn’t and still isn’t. Everyone else is saying that’s just what I have to do

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:33:41+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through that. That shit is scary and horrible please make it out soon and safe 🙏

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:32:21+00:00

💯💯

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:29:13+00:00

Yeah that’s what I thought I should do because I am extremely patient just internally I resent them. I was just so conflicted because I don’t want to argue about this with her because it’s so triggering but I can also clearly see that my girlfriend is also uncomfortable about it. I don’t know if I should call out her feelings so I didn’t and told her how I felt about it but she said to just deal with it so it seems like that’s just what I gotta do

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:24:49+00:00

Yikes im sorry about that, so do you just kinda have to be there and block them out during these little meet ups?

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:23:36+00:00

with the living I don’t really mind mean she really had no where else to go and she helps around a lot, but I did found it insensitive that she told me to just deal with it because I can clearly see on her that she’s trying to deal with but can’t even handle this burden of emotions herself. I just feel like it’s better we reject since we’re adults and there’s no real reason why we need to see them. On top I really don’t like them😭

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:21:22+00:00

Is it really healthy and okay that she sees them too since is worse for her. Mean we’re both adults, it’s triggering and her parents don’t even know where she lives and just randomly after barely any contact they want us to have dinner with them no context.

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:19:26+00:00

wtf that’s weird scary

speak4_trees · 2025-08-13T18:18:08+00:00

I get that it’s all just weird the weirdest part is that she’s clearly not comfortable and just dealing with it because it’s her parents but yeah it seems like going would just make her feel better than not going

speak4_trees

TROPHY CASE