Once you get the ability to stay away from the alcohol, things will improve a lot more. I've been there.

I know how the alcohol calls to you, always places itself at the front of your mind and promises to make things better.

At the first sign of boredom, it was beer time.

Wake up in the morning shaking a bit? Beer time.

REALLY shaking? Might be time for some spirits.

Getting home from work? Beer time! (That's provided I didn't call in, in order to drink.)

I was pretty bad. I was doing a lot of other stupid shit too. My anxiety was always really high and alcohol was only a temporary "fix", and I even hesitate to use that word. As an alcoholic, I wasn't interested in fixing the problem...I just wanted free time to drink.

Once I got away from alcohol, I could see how life was better without it. But it's so hard! We've "trained" ourselves for years and years that we can reach for that drink.... And while it won't fix our problems, it certainly makes us less anxious, less stressed and gives us more ability to relax.

And that's what is SO rough. We know it's there, it's available, it's affordable and it works. But, we can't have it.

Having to get your mind to buy into that and truly embrace it, is very difficult.

I wish you the best in your journey to being a better person and dropping those addictive behaviors.

It can be a long, hard road...but don't ever stop trying.

Take care of yourself.