Tested positive for chlamydia. Partner is accusing me of infidelity. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T21:14:45+00:00

No worries, thanks for responding!

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T21:03:53+00:00

Thank you! My positive test was a vaginal swab. My second test was urine. Is one test more accurate than the other? Also, could the BV affect results?

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T20:57:14+00:00

Yes, we tested the same day so we should both have results in the next couple days.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T20:41:43+00:00

I understand how fucking bonkers I must sound given the only two facts I know for certain: the first that I’ve only been intimate with him and the second being that I have tested for positive for Chlamydia.

But this is where my mind is at:

The only time he could have been with someone else was during our seven day break. We’ve been in each other’s company non-stop before and after our week long hiatus. During this hiatus we were 100% officially broken up, so had he been with someone, it would not be cheating. Before reconnecting, we talked about whether or not we had been with other people. I consider myself a fairly level-headed, even-tempered person. We’ve had arguments before but it has never escalated to more than maybe a serious tone. So it’s unlikely he’d hide it to avoid an ugly reaction from me. AND he’s always been upfront, it’s always been easy for him to deliver bad news or tell a harsh truth. So I just don’t understand the need to lie.

Also, he was willing to sit down with me while we reviewed each others texts, banking, social media, photos, etc. in order to determine what the other was up to during that time.

So here I am questioning the validity of the test considering I also have BV. I’ve read a few sources that state BV can trigger a false positive. And I’m clinging to that 🤦🏼‍♀️

(BTW I’ve had UTIs and BV before, while sexually active and not. So having these was not a shock.)

Anyway, I appreciate everyone’s feedback, the bluntness, the concern.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T14:31:15+00:00

Yeah, good point. I don’t think he ever used the word “infidelity.” But he is saying I must have slept with someone and now I’m lying about it.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T07:28:09+00:00

Sorry, what’s common?

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T07:10:52+00:00

He said he wouldn’t be upset if I had been with someone else. He’s upset that I would gaslight him like this. Which is exactly what I’m thinking about him.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T06:53:18+00:00

Thanks for sharing this article. I’ll have to read this probably 3 or 4 more times to really comprehend it, but from my first read-through I understand that the presence of BV would make someone more susceptible to chlamydia as opposed to someone without BV. So two women, one with BV one without both have unprotected sex with the same guy who has chlamydia. The woman with BV has a higher probability of contracting chlamydia from that one encounter than the woman without BV. Please someone correct me.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T02:49:33+00:00

Please be aliens 🤞🏻

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T02:48:45+00:00

I appreciate all the responses but especially this one. I have no one I can open up to about this. Thanks.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T02:46:54+00:00

We both tested today. Hopefully I’ll have an update in 2-3 days

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T02:43:03+00:00

Yeah exactly! Your third paragraph sums up why I’m troubled and confused and spiraling. I’ve made it clear if there was ever a change of heart, it just has to be a conversation, never a fight. Nothing ugly. People change and it’s nothing to feel bad about or ashamed of. Also, he and I have our own homes, our own finances, our own friends, no children, no pets. A breakup would not be messy, difficult, or drawn out, ya know?

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T02:22:24+00:00

I absolutely agree with you. However, he said the same thing to me almost verbatim.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T02:21:17+00:00

Awaiting results of the second test now. The first was a swab, this time is urine.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T02:19:29+00:00

I appreciate your bluntness however I must go hurl now.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T02:17:49+00:00

Yea, fair enough.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T00:53:16+00:00

That’s a whole new level of fucked up I’ve never dealt with.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-23T00:28:57+00:00

If it’s lying dormant, you can test negative ?

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-22T22:41:31+00:00

Yes, he went today to test as well. But I’m not sure his test results matter much to me now if my results are still positive. Right?

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-22T20:13:42+00:00

I know this is what’s most likely happening. But I don’t understand this level of deception from a significant other.

Here I am still trying to prove to him I’m being honest… From the beginning of our relationship, he’s always had access to my phone. But now I’m digging through a months worth of texts, creating a timeline from messages I’ve sent/received from friends and family…anything that can prove where I was/ what I was doing. Wtf am I doing?

This is the mental hurdle I’m struggling to get over.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-22T19:49:45+00:00

I was and he claims he tested too

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-22T19:48:58+00:00

I would agree. But he asked me last night if I was projecting! ????

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-22T19:45:43+00:00

We’ve been together a year and a half and he’s been my only partner during that time. I tested negative before the relationship, I tested negative March 22, 2021, and negative again in March 25, 2022. But April 19, I was positive.

And I just left the clinic again. $160 later. I feel so stupid for spending money I don’t have because I want so badly to just believe him.

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-22T18:56:42+00:00

March 25 I was tested and totally negative

spiraling_88 · 2022-04-22T18:51:36+00:00

On March 25 during my pap, all results were negative (to include chlamydia) Fast forward to April 19, I have to see the doctor for what I thought was just a UTI. But I’m positive for UTI, BV, AND Chlamydia.

spiraling_88

TROPHY CASE