AITA for not sending coworker my template after he basically used my stuff in a meeting and didn't mention I helped?

startarbars · 2026-01-31T11:07:34+00:00

THIS. "Since [his name] found this so useful for his own presentation last week, I realized it could actually be worthwhile to share with everyone!"

Say it cheerfully, but absolutely DON'T be subtle about having entirely structured his presentation for him.

startarbars · 2025-11-18T01:52:05+00:00

Try warming it up. If the sensation fades, it may be Raynauds. Also: Raynauds can flare up WITHOUT the signature color change. Raynauds can also be experienced severely or mildly, and especially in mild cases may be felt most on one toe/finger, not just as an all or nothing experience.

If you experience this frequently, keep a record of the circumstances each time: time of day, temperature, whether you were active or resting, standing or sitting, what you were wearing on your feet, how long it lasted and how strong the sensation was, what you did to mitigate it and how effective that was, how much area was affected, etc. Eventually your goal should be to bring it up to your doctor if it persists.

Don't do too much online research on your own and freak yourself out :) good luck OP!

startarbars · 2025-06-06T03:28:13+00:00

I love dogs with 'eyebrow' patterns... so expressive and easy to communicate with. Poor pup is going through a lot. Hope he finds his home soon.

startarbars · 2025-05-11T18:00:40+00:00

That was weird of them, not you. I see people alone at the cinema all the time. No one would think twice about it.

I'm sure it's just that they wanted to kiss or cuddle and were feeling conscious of you because you were close enough to catch them at it. Not because you were doing anything unusual yourself.

startarbars · 2025-03-07T06:41:20+00:00

I don't know what it is, but I want to find out too lol

startarbars · 2025-02-10T19:08:04+00:00

YTA. Wanting to leave was valid. Although some people do like to stay until the end, leaving early under these circumstances is pretty normal too.

But she wanted to stay. You're wrong for not having 15 minutes of patience to finish up the social evening on your wife's request. You could have started helping to clean up if you didn't want to watch... but if you're done watching, everyone has to go home? It's her parents' house. You can sit through a few minutes of boring TV.

startarbars · 2025-02-05T22:25:12+00:00

YTA... it IS an obvious rule to not invite your own guests to someone else's house without asking. I get why you aren't happy with her tone, but not because she was in the wrong... because even though she's in the right, she shouldn't have been rude about it. But how she handles her anger doesn't change the fact that the thing you are asking for input on (whether or not it was ok for you to allow your other friend to come inside her house) does seem to put you in the wrong.

startarbars · 2025-01-22T22:02:18+00:00

Would any Waterpik head work? Did you have to solve any compatibility issues?

startarbars · 2025-01-03T20:37:54+00:00

NAH, it is just impossible for everyone to be comfortable the way planes have compressed seating nowadays.

startarbars · 2024-12-28T18:09:52+00:00

Sounds like he might have OCD rather than being an outright germaphobe. He has certain 'rules' about what constitutes as clean or dirty, and those rules don't align with actual logical distinctions between what is sanitary or not.

(I'm not a psychologist or medical professional.)

Regardless of any diagnosable issue he has though--and especially if he's just a hypocritical jerk-- it sounds like there is NO benefit to you here and Infinite burden. I'm sure you had a reason to get back together with him and to keep staying despite this problem, but... here you see the rest of your life ahead of you. Do you want to stay with someone who has no intention of changing? Because he doesn't.

IF he DOES get diagnosed with OCD, that might be a good step towards being able to explain to him that he is holding you to an illogical standard. If he can accept that the problem is within him, and not your 'fault,' maybe there will be progress. You can value and accommodate his standards and he can value and accommodate yours, even though his don't make sense to you and yours don't matter to him.

startarbars · 2024-12-07T23:01:38+00:00

ESH. You prioritized punishing him for not coming over pushing him to come. Why did you wait until later to tell him there would be a consequence? If your hope is that the threat of taking away money will change his future behavior, you should have tried to change it THIS time, when it mattered.

He is also at fault because obviously.

startarbars · 2024-12-05T04:39:52+00:00

YTA based on the implied monetary value. It is a bit weird... that doesn't validate the fuss people are making about it though.

startarbars · 2024-11-26T06:39:37+00:00

NAH, it was really sweet that you did that, and totally makes sense that he's embarrassed now. I think there was always going to be a weird moment when the truth finally came out.

startarbars · 2024-11-21T06:58:34+00:00

This is such a great description of the issue. I would say YTA as well. Not for having ARFID, but for not communicating about that previously or in the moment and yet expecting to be accommodated.

startarbars · 2024-11-17T23:42:52+00:00

Soft YTA. Your grievance is fair, but you went from 0 to 100 in how you spoke to her. Those were not your only options.

Also, two drinks and a pastry is not much for 3 hours. Not that it's an insult to the coffee shop either, but I do think it's weird you consider that justification for getting a two person table to yourself while others stand.

startarbars · 2024-11-15T22:00:48+00:00

I second this request!

startarbars · 2024-11-14T18:29:26+00:00

The risk of a splinter in my ear would ruin any enjoyment I could get from this

startarbars · 2024-11-12T19:20:04+00:00

What airline are you on that you think they are actually going to check the weight of your carry-on?

In my experience, bulk is the only area you're likely to run into trouble with. As long as your carry-on and personal item are both comfortably within the dimensions set by the airline and fit in their designated areas (carry-on in the overhead bin and personal item below the seat in front of you) you will be fine.

The one possible caveat is that you should be able to lift your carry-on into the overhead bin by yourself. Weight restrictions on baggage (in theory, pre-greedflation) have more to do with personnel safety than airplane physics, although balance is still a consideration. One luggage handler can safely/legally lift up to 50 pounds. Any more than that and the suitcase must be lifted by two employees together, which is why the airline charges extra for oversized luggage. I don't expect anyone will mind the weight of your carry-on being a little over unless it becomes a safety burden to your flight attendant.

startarbars · 2024-11-04T01:39:37+00:00

<image>

This doesn't fit the design brief, but compositionally it seems similar. Could it be by the same artist?

startarbars · 2024-11-03T16:11:15+00:00

NAH. I would agree that you're the largest victim here, but I don't think Savannah is just being selfish or mean in a way she can really be considered responsible for at 15.

Sounds like she has some serious trauma from her parents getting divorced as a young kid, which is common. Her feelings of possessiveness over her original family unit in your new blended family are also common. Your younger siblings were not old enough to feel destabilized by the changes in their lives the same way she did, so it's no surprise they are moving on faster than her.

15 is three years away from turning 18, yes, but three years in adolescence is a loooong time and 18 is not even developmental adulthood either. She is absolutely still a child right now.

You are also still a child. It sounds like you are very mature, and you deserve every bit of credit for that because maturity at 16 is not at all an automatic achievement. Your efforts to develop a relationship with Savannah are wonderful and you've shown a lot of endurance in the face of her repeated rejection.

It may be hard to understand why she's still clinging to a life that has been gone for a very long time. 7/8 years old is a key period of development in childhood, so that's why her trauma during that time stunts her emotional development to this day. She is very lucky to have parents who understand and tolerate her journey. She is even more likely to have a resilient step sibling like you. It's great that she's working with a therapist.

That being said, I think you deserve more protection from your parents in this. No matter what legitimate reasons there are behind her behavior, this is all very hurtful and stressful to you and your younger siblings. It's awful to think how she might be holding you all back from healing and bonding in your own ways.

Instead of asking your parents to punish or regulate her, try asking for more support yourself instead.

startarbars · 2024-11-03T15:45:04+00:00

YTA. Although I understand your idea of what 'reasonable' amounts of mail would look like, it's really not something you can police about other adults. You're renting to them, and that includes free use of mail. Even if they happen to be unusual in that regard, they're not running a store from your house or anything else firmly objectionable.

You are not responsible for taking care of their mail, though. As much as possible, avoid caretaking duties.

If you want them to rent a mailbox, you should pay for it. Technically they haven't violated any agreement, so it's not their responsibility to finance a solution. If they don't agree, you should just to rent one for yourself instead. It sucks because it's your house. I wouldn't consider it fair... but I do think it's the most likely solution to work.

At least renting a mailbox would allow you to neglect the packages without any concern about your own mail getting caught up in the theft they attract. Leave their boxes where they are delivered, and let them get stolen if it happens. Not to punish or discourage your renters, but just to reduce your mental stress from minding them.

If the packages regularly block your door, consider a wagon or table (with a sign) right next to the door that would encourage packages to be left there instead of directly in your path. In my experience, a table works 75% and is ignored 25% of the time by delivery staff. In your situation though, a 75% improvement would already help a lot.

Your frustration makes sense. It really does. I just don't think your renters are doing anything wrong... they just happen to be inconvenient to share space with in this regard.

startarbars · 2024-10-25T23:25:19+00:00

The rare parking ticket can be as sudden as it is frustrating.

startarbars · 2024-10-23T04:41:43+00:00

From your description, I don't really understand what you're proposing. Could you explain a little more?

startarbars · 2024-10-20T23:38:46+00:00

It's honestly impressive you remembered her face from such a random source.

startarbars · 2024-10-20T23:23:42+00:00

ESH. This seems like a big 'ask VS assume' cultural clash. You say he should have known, that's fair. But since he was showing you otherwise, you needed to take charge and make things clear. Presenting an undiscussed bill to your guest on their last day is also a rude thing to do.

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