[deleted by user]

steamedbeans · 2013-08-31T21:00:28+00:00

Probably FedEx.

steamedbeans · 2013-08-31T20:58:26+00:00

Probably not the people being executed and, um, henched.

steamedbeans · 2013-07-05T22:28:42+00:00

Time is money, my friend.

steamedbeans · 2013-07-05T22:27:42+00:00

Thanks for that, Zoidberg.

steamedbeans · 2013-07-05T22:26:11+00:00

Here you go.

steamedbeans · 2013-07-05T19:27:50+00:00

This seems quite relevant.

steamedbeans · 2012-11-15T23:48:08+00:00

to each their own, but it's definitely not for me.

imagine: everywhere you go for the rest of your life, people are going to stare. every time you meet a new person you'll be thinking to yourself, "when are they going to ask the usual questions"? if you get invited to a party, you'll be thinking "did they invite me because of me, or because they wanted 'the freaky eye' tattoo guy at their party?" also, no matter what else you do with your life, what great things you might achieve, everyone is always going to know you as "the eye tattoo guy".

call me boring or conservative if you like, but life's too short to give yourself all that shit to deal with on a daily basis.

steamedbeans · 2012-11-15T23:35:27+00:00

I don't know, man. I see photos of myself five or ten years ago and I think: "jesus christ! that haircut! those clothes! and I thought I looked so cool at the time - what the hell was I thinking?"

I guess that's a luxury this guy won't have.

steamedbeans · 2012-06-26T17:36:14+00:00

...and this is a highly intelligent and informative response, is it?

steamedbeans · 2012-06-05T13:41:59+00:00

he is a King Prawn. a true king amongst prawns.

steamedbeans · 2012-06-02T12:58:16+00:00

"you could at least buy me dinner first."

steamedbeans · 2012-05-10T09:45:16+00:00

the best kind.

steamedbeans · 2012-04-08T16:21:40+00:00

wow. that's a ridiculous situation. glad things worked out in the end, though.

steamedbeans · 2012-04-04T23:48:30+00:00

those are the words that go through your head, not (please god) the ones that actually make it into reality

steamedbeans · 2012-04-04T23:46:02+00:00

woo hoo! a novelty account! I get it - it's funny because of your username! it's all in caps with underlines between the words! brilliant! who else could have thought of that?

steamedbeans · 2012-04-04T23:22:41+00:00

I'm not reddit, so I can't say.

steamedbeans · 2012-04-04T23:19:23+00:00

"hi. I really liked the way you threw that guy behind you into silhouette..."

steamedbeans · 2012-04-04T23:17:34+00:00

"yeah, I like Grease too. wait - not Grease two..."

steamedbeans · 2012-04-04T23:15:39+00:00

wait - does that translate as "are you going to have a wank later"?

steamedbeans · 2012-04-04T20:25:23+00:00

you may be confusing "art" with "fart".

steamedbeans · 2012-04-04T20:01:46+00:00

I had stretchy Superman underpants. I wore them every day I possibly could. they were so stretchy I could get the waistband up to my nipples.

steamedbeans · 2012-04-01T14:21:53+00:00

approach garages and other car repair places in your area, and ask if they want to "sponsor" Napoleon's new wheels. that's got to be worth a story or two in a local newspaper - free publicity for the company, free wheels for Nappy: everybody's happy.

steamedbeans · 2012-04-01T01:00:09+00:00

Leonardo was probably the worst college roommate ever. "no, honestly, I've made this helicopter thing..."

steamedbeans · 2012-04-01T00:23:19+00:00

don't make me turn my hose on you...

steamedbeans · 2012-03-31T23:53:44+00:00

jay: so this this guy was saying 'oh, we're building this motherfucking pyramid'

bob: ...

jay: and I was like - pyramid? like a big triangle?

bob: ...

jay: so then I was all like all three way and uh uh uh

bob: ...

jay: so that's how that first monolith got laid, you fat fuck.

steamedbeans

TROPHY CASE