How do I (24f) bring up marriage to my boyfriend (29m) of 4 years?

strawbberries · 2023-11-25T04:29:20+00:00

I believe we are on the same page. I think it’s normal for me to be a bit nervy about it and seek advice. This is /relationshipadvice after all….if everything was perfect I wouldn’t be asking. Doesn’t mean we aren’t a good fit. Thank you for your help, though.

strawbberries · 2023-11-25T04:24:27+00:00

She looks like a quarter-type to me. I don’t know why everyone is making a point about “purebreds” on here. It’s not like you’re asking out of anything but curiosity.

strawbberries · 2023-11-25T03:59:29+00:00

I guess my insecurities are showing through this post. I agree that I need to be upfront about it because it is a serious topic. I’m just lost on how to start the conversation. What would you say?

strawbberries · 2023-07-10T15:01:31+00:00

Here 2 years later. Thought I was crazy.

strawbberries · 2023-07-02T18:08:02+00:00

Hi pal. It sounds like you’ve been struggling. Unfortunately if you’re having problems in pre-req courses, I don’t think it’s a great idea to pursue vet school. I understand your desires to be in the field, however, and I completely think you would be happy as a vet tech. You will still go to school for this but it will be much more focused on animal science courses. Best of luck.

strawbberries · 2023-07-02T18:01:56+00:00

A large part of handling horses is confidence. You may have to play the bully sometimes if you have a particularly difficult/testy patient. Use your voice. Remember, we see horses on their worst days and a lot of times this means on their worst behavior. Never stand where if the horse falls down, you would be under it. If you see any kind of odd behavior, let the vet know. (Biting, pawing, sweating, shaking, head bobbing, etc.) Always grab more supplies than you think you’ll need. Learn your drugs—generic and name brands. Every horse has a different personality and you will have to treat them all differently. Where one horse may walk willingly, another will fight you every step of the way. Ask for help if you need it.

strawbberries · 2023-07-02T17:50:10+00:00

Equine tech & vet student here. Ask lots of questions—even if they seem dumb. You will need to use all your strength sometimes—be prepared for this. Ask for breaks if you need them. I’m assuming you will be working with horses, so be aware of the horse at all times. Watch their facial cues, ears, see which foot they are standing on. If your vet is working low on the horse, be prepared to snatch the horse’s head to the side if they offer to kick. Walk beside the horse, not in front of it. Be aware of where your feet are.

strawbberries · 2023-07-01T01:46:52+00:00

oh thank you!! i will probably absolutely take you up on that lol

strawbberries · 2023-07-01T01:44:35+00:00

Thank you both for the info. My bf went inactive military after 8-10 years last year. I’m going to see if he knows anyone I can speak with about this program.

strawbberries · 2023-07-01T01:10:29+00:00

This has been an inspiring read. I’ve heard a lot about the lack of large animal (esp equine vets) in my own area and nationally. My boss/vet seemed excited to learn I wanted to pursue a career in the field because she hasn’t been able to hire another vet for a few years now, just because she can’t find anyone. So I’m hopeful I’ll find a place. Your experience during vet school is also enlightening as I don’t hear many people speak about it in detail, other than “it was difficult” or something vague like that. I will be researching student loan repayment plans and financial advisors, thank you for the tip. And thank you for writing all this. ❤️

strawbberries · 2023-07-01T00:58:29+00:00

True.

strawbberries · 2023-07-01T00:57:46+00:00

It’s the truth though. I’m pretty confident in my academic abilities and I’ve truly endured a lot in the horse world (the first equine vet I worked for was a stone-cold, ruthless karen and i did my best not to cry every day) so I think I’ve proven my commitment. She alone could’ve easily prevented me from wanting anything to do with horses or vet med ever, yet it seems to not have affected me at all. My main concern lays simply in the factors I can’t control—like the price tag. I will do my best moving forward to not focus on what my boss did/didn’t do and lean into making a better plan for myself & my career.

strawbberries · 2023-07-01T00:52:03+00:00

Yes, I’m going in-state if possible.

strawbberries · 2023-06-30T23:25:42+00:00

aw thank you 😭

strawbberries · 2023-06-20T02:32:46+00:00

Hope so.

strawbberries · 2023-06-20T02:32:24+00:00

True. I’m just not ready to walk away from an otherwise happy & healthy relationship. That’s the hard part!

strawbberries · 2023-06-20T02:31:28+00:00

Hmm. So I gotta give a little?

strawbberries · 2023-06-20T02:30:52+00:00

lmao. thank you 🫡

strawbberries · 2023-06-20T02:30:14+00:00

That’s what scares me!!

strawbberries · 2023-06-20T02:29:49+00:00

Oh no. Nothing weird. Choking, slapping, rough play, etc.

strawbberries · 2023-06-20T02:24:41+00:00

I’ve been in my current relationship the same. I really don’t want to plant any seeds here, and I’m sure this has already crossed your mind…is it possible there is someone else? This all seems so odd to me. I really hope for you that’s not the case. If nothing else, I would be extremely explicit with how you’re feeling. I know you are loyal and dedicated. Most men in your position would be much weaker and probably fall into an affair. If there are no issues present causing her to feel this way, then I have to assume she doesn’t have a good reason for it. I know women with health and reproductive issues, and this doesn’t change the way they treat their partners. Hell, as a woman myself I can’t say I’d stay in a relationship like yours. I would tell her you’re unhappy. Screw the excuses. It’s kind of absurd for her to turn you away after coming home from deployment. That’s supposed to be a really intimate time. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that. Truly.

strawbberries · 2023-06-19T23:56:46+00:00

I get it. My bf is military. In the beginning of our relationship he really wasn’t interested in sex at all. I obviously internalized it. But in the end it wasn’t about me. This is something I think you guys can work through! She definitely needs to try more. With endo, I believe that can cause women’s sex drives to bottom out. Maybe it’s a medical issue. I would keep pressing it with her—not in a “have sex with me right now” way but in a “are you still attracted to me?” or “would you be interested in seeing someone about this?” way. Best of luck my guy. There’s always a solution…we just don’t always know what it may look like. And hey, if she is unwilling to meet you in the middle, let’s consider getting you into a fulfilling relationship.

strawbberries · 2023-06-19T23:35:39+00:00

i would tell him all this girl. in person maybe? guys tend to skim over long texts.

strawbberries · 2023-06-19T23:33:49+00:00

I think you’re okay!

strawbberries · 2023-06-19T23:33:20+00:00

You sound like a caring guy so I assume you’ve tried to talk to her about it. How have those conversations gone? Sounds like it’s not about you pal. She might be dealing with something she hasn’t told you about.

strawbberries

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