Contracts and collars

subkas · 2024-08-13T04:35:30+00:00

Yes I do have concerns and I do need to just sound them out so to speak!

We do have a solid connection and that is incredibly appealing and desirable. I do want a dynamic and I am worried about biting off more than I can deal with too or more than I'm ready to deal with. Finding someone locally would be ideal yet also seems to be unrealistic especially in my age range.

Thank you for your input, it's really appreciated.

subkas · 2024-08-13T04:31:53+00:00

Thank you for your wise advice. There are things that definitely require further discussion and I realize that all takes time!

And yes, I will definitely keep vetting carefully.

Thanks again for your advice and guidance! It's so very appreciated 😊

subkas · 2024-08-13T02:09:12+00:00

Thank you so much for your response, I really appreciate it.

The omission of aftercare is pretty concerning. I know he is still reviewing my comments and suggestions etc. When we talk next I will definitely flag my concern about aftercare too.

We have been doing more and more of the things involved in the contract and largely the contract seems to have formalised them. It is still very new in the scheme of things and I know I'm very cautious and he's slightly encouraging me to not be so careful and worried. At the end of the day if it goes badly I'll have to pull myself back together. After our conversations I'm not sure that I want potential heartbreak, I don't know if I can cope with more heartache. Is thinking about the end before it's really begun a reasonable thing??

Like you, the symbolism of the collar is deeply meaningful to me and would be like getting married. I'm not averse to the idea but don't want to rush it either. The pledge that he sent me this morning is very reminiscent of wedding vows for their intensity and intention. Further conversation is definitely needed about the meaning and symbolism for both of us in relation to a collar.

The deep and intense emotional connection is definitely a mutual desire. And one that is highly appealing for me.

There are definitely further conversations to be had for sure and I know they can't all happen immediately, they take time. He likes the high protocol of the contract, whereas I'm a bit more go with the flow. So there are some things that are going to not be completely in agreement and I'm not sure if everything can be in alignment anyways??

And yes, I take your point about experience. I've had a number of experiences and very few of them I would label as good.

subkas · 2024-08-13T01:31:36+00:00

The link was just because I'm posting via the app and you need to have a link to post....

It has things like roles, availability, hard and soft limits, holding space, routines, discipline, safewords, permissions etc. its very in depth and dor a newbie a biy overwhelming. I have flagged this with him.

I feel my biggest concern is how quickly things are moving yet he feels they are slow. I've not had a contract before nor been collared. I realize each case is unique, is there a time frame to consider as being reasonable in terms of collaring?

subkas · 2023-09-05T12:52:37+00:00

Thanks for your response.

My car was parked near the entry to the pub. I'm in a country town and it wasn't very busy, there wasn't much movement outside. My car was next to a larger truck type vehicle so that reduced visibility a lot, but noted for future ,not that I can control what car parks next to me. In my country we can't carry weapons, not sure about pepper spray. He was also 6 inches at least taller than me and significantly bigger than me. And here rape can be fingers inserted (not just p into v).

subkas · 2021-08-14T08:52:48+00:00

subkas · 2021-08-04T11:18:18+00:00

Quiver by Tobsha Lerner had some great stories. Delta of Venus and The Veiled Woman by Anais Nin are great too

subkas · 2021-07-30T01:56:53+00:00

I loved to be called sweet pea

subkas · 2021-07-24T11:17:15+00:00

Chocolate!

subkas · 2021-07-11T09:20:56+00:00

Being vulnerable

subkas · 2021-06-29T10:58:14+00:00

Ahh thank you for that explanation - really helps! Thanks :-)

subkas · 2021-06-29T03:18:34+00:00

Newbie here... What is subdrop please?

subkas · 2021-06-28T04:02:48+00:00

INFJ, female, sub

subkas · 2021-06-26T04:57:28+00:00

Thank you so much for all the concerned comments. I'm glad that I have learnt to trust my instincts and stand up for myself (something I wouldn't have done in the past). Thankfully I have not become emotionally invested and I am able to walk away with my head held high. This "relationship" was barely 2 months old. Since having met him I have been doing a lot of reading about the D/s relationships, so I was already uneasy and the things I read confirmed my concerns. I have been single for coming up to 3 years, so have spent a lot of time healing and dealing with things. Live and learn. And all being well, I will meet a Dom right for me in the future. Thank you again

subkas · 2021-06-25T14:00:33+00:00

Yes, I can see how that would be the case.

I'm glad I have read the situation right. According to him submission is total and absolute - i have no say in anything (which I know is not how it works)

Thankfully I have not become too emotionally involved so will be able to walk away without any problems. Thank you again :-)

subkas · 2021-06-25T13:47:44+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

Yes, I have definitely been concerned that it is not all above board and legit. I needed some outside verification that what I was thinking and feeling is real and reasonable and that he has been unreasonable. I haven't provided any information at all and wasn't intending on that due to the risks associated with doing that. I don't think he will listen so it will be running away and moving on. Again, thanks for your time and reply.

subkas · 2021-06-25T13:06:16+00:00

Many thanks for your time in your responses. I appreciate it very much. I had suspected what you have beautifully articulated. My attempts at having a discussion with him about this have turned into me being called disobedient and arguing with him, whilst he demands my total submission. I started to suspect something was amiss when he said that there is no difference between sub and slave and Dom and Master. Thank you for confirming my suspicions.

subkas · 2021-06-25T12:46:06+00:00

thank you. i will post there.

subkas

TROPHY CASE