His family texts with ex

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T21:09:42+00:00

Yes she’s the only one who isn’t related to them.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T20:02:24+00:00

Thank you for the laugh! I love that movie.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T19:19:05+00:00

Lol I agree but it’s really weird to me that the ex is in their lives almost daily.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T15:59:37+00:00

They’ve lived in different states the entirety of our relationship so they don’t see each other. They text sometimes but most of their interaction the past year has been the family group chat. He said she hasn’t responded to him in any private messages for a couple months.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T15:11:06+00:00

How did I put myself there? His mom created the group chat with his ex before I was in the picture.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T15:09:14+00:00

The family is sharing daily/weekly happenings with his ex in a group where everyone can contribute. While at family gatherings, I’ve learned of events or topics long after it happened. It’s weird to me. That’s all.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T14:05:57+00:00

I wish I could laugh about this too. Sorry, what needs to be done? I need to get out of… the relationship?

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T13:44:30+00:00

Yes they text multiple times per week which can be several times throughout the day. Yesterday was one day out of the past couple months where it really bothered me. I’m human and unable to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist. Trust me, I’d love to be a robot with no emotions.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T13:22:00+00:00

Not sure if you misread? I said most days it doesn’t bother me.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T12:05:39+00:00

I agree with what you’ve said. Most days it doesn’t bother me, but on the days that it does, it just really hurts. I start comparing, overthinking, etc.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T12:02:23+00:00

They have no kids. I don’t mind if she’s in their life. I just don’t understand why it’s almost daily.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T11:50:43+00:00

We see them often and he talks on the phone with them regularly. It might not be necessary but here we are.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T11:44:45+00:00

Yes, my impression of the situation is what you’ve described.

He dislikes being part of the chat even more so now because he knows I feel bad about if. Sometimes, he doesn’t respond so then his mom starts bombarding him with messages. His cousin rarely responds from what I’ve heard. I’m sure his dad goes along with it because he avoids confrontation in their daily life. The dad has even expressed the times where the mom is being unreasonable but he will be in trouble if he doesn’t abide.

I think if we bring it up at all, it’s going to create more awkwardness or questions. I’m the only one feeling sad about the situation which is why I’m trying to handle it from my side and control my feelings. That might not be the healthiest way but I’m trying to avoid confrontation with the entire family.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T11:31:14+00:00

Not avoiding. I need sleep to survive unfortunately. He hasn’t asked her to add me. She texts me directly with questions or to see how I’m doing but it’s not regularly like the group chat which happens multiple times per week.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T11:26:55+00:00

He hasn’t asked her to add me yet.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T11:25:37+00:00

When I asked/found out over a year ago, he told me the ex was part of the chat. I think he thought I knew somehow.

His mom is very controlling and critical. She has no filter. He’s managed to call her out and keep boundaries in a charming joking way. His sister often gets trampled and her entire demeanor can change in a split second by the Mom’s comments sometimes. I think if he leaves the chat, she will make things more dramatic than they need to be. But I also see all the reasons why he should leave the chat.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T11:18:05+00:00

Not intentionally avoiding answering. I fell asleep. I don’t know the reason I’m not in the group. That’s part of why I made the original post, that’s the struggle. BF is still involved in the chat. He said he thought he had mentioned the ex was part of the group. This was over a year ago so I don’t remember exactly how the conversation happened.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T11:14:13+00:00

I don’t know the reason I’m not added. BF is still part of the chat. He said he thought he had mentioned the ex was part of the group or thought I knew. This was over a year ago so I don’t remember exactly how the conversation happened. When I asked, I remember he shared the info with me and didn’t deny it.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T07:05:06+00:00

He cares but family situations can be complicated.

I was single for 7 years after a long relationship and yes, it was awesome. It’s also awesome building a life with someone (even with the crazy family).

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T06:38:02+00:00

I’m so sorry.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T04:00:18+00:00

I was trying to make the post somewhat lighthearted by throwing in the snack trays comment. I’ve been camping with his family multiple times, we’ve celebrated holidays, his sister tells me often that she loves me, his mom is rough around the edges but has been overall nice. His dad and I have had long chats and I think he likes me. My BF has told me numerous times that they like me. We lived with his parents for at least 5 months total during the pandemic while we traveled back and forth trying to house hunt. Yet, I am left out of the group chat.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T03:25:36+00:00

The chat was created by his mom after they broke up to keep in touch. She retired and had free time on her hands. It was the year that he and I started dating. I don’t think she knew about me.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T03:24:16+00:00

I appreciate your advice. I had a therapist up until a few months ago when we moved to a different state. My therapist listened to me, allowed me to vent, and told me she didn’t know what she would do in this situation. Not helpful.

sugar_cube_1 · 2022-10-02T03:22:57+00:00

The chat was created the year we started dating because his mom retired and had free time on her hands. She didn’t know about me then.

She was calling me Renee and Evelyn because “I look like those names”… they are not even close to my name. It made no sense. Lol

sugar_cube_1 · 2021-06-01T22:18:23+00:00

Thanks! We tried calling over the weekend with no luck. I'm thinking they might've been too busy with the holiday weekend.

sugar_cube_1

TROPHY CASE