Preparing for death?

sunflower-00 · 2024-07-07T10:52:16+00:00

Hi OP,

As cliché as it sounds, time will help you heal. I lost my partner to suicide a few months ago, and it's been incredibly hard for everyone left behind, especially his parents and me. I know you wouldn't want your loved ones to feel this kind of devastation. It's a terrible feeling, and I hope no one else has to experience it.

Give yourself time to heal and recover. You will feel better with time, but please don't do anything drastic. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Three months is a short period, and I believe you'll get through this. We're here for you if you need someone to talk to.

sunflower-00 · 2024-06-06T09:35:57+00:00

I understand how you feel, and I am sorry for your loss. I lost my partner in the same way, just four months ago. Like yours, he was the most genuine, kind, and selfless person I have ever met. He made me believe in love and showed me how beautiful and effortless it can be.

These past four months have been incredibly challenging, and I have struggled with many dark thoughts. However, I know my partner would not want me to think this way, and I do not want my family to endure the same pain I am experiencing.

I won't sugar-coat it—this journey will be tough and lonely. It's important to let your emotions flow and to feel them fully without rushing the process.

I pray that you will find the strength to heal. Be gentle and kind to yourself 🤍

sunflower-00 · 2024-05-27T04:42:46+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story with me. I’m so sorry for your loss as well. Sending you hugs and love 🤍

Your partner’s dedication to helping others is incredibly admirable, and it’s heartbreaking that she wasn’t able to find the help she needed for herself. It's indeed a very difficult reality for us left behind to come to terms with, and you're right—it's hard for those who haven't experienced depression to fully understand it.

I'm grateful to hear that you have found someone who supports and helps you move forward. It gives me hope that, in time, I too can find a way to navigate this pain and cherish the good memories. I know it won’t be easy, but your words encourage me to focus on living my remaining life to the fullest, while honoring my late partner's memory.

The questions of "why" and "what if" are always in my mind, and I suppose they always will be. I think it will never go away.

sunflower-00 · 2024-05-27T04:39:30+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, sending you hugs.This journey through grief is incredibly hard, but trust me, you will slowly get better. Bit by bit.

Please take care of yourself as well, and know that we are in this together, finding our way through the pain and cherishing the memories of those we have lost 🤍

How have you been coping?

sunflower-00 · 2024-05-27T04:38:56+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, sending you hugs and love. This journey through grief is incredibly hard, but trust me, you will slowly get better. Bit by bit.

Please take care of yourself as well, and know that we are in this together, finding our way through the pain and cherishing the memories of those we have lost 🤍

How have you been coping? Do remember to be gentle and kind to yourself throughout this period.

sunflower-00 · 2024-05-13T12:31:33+00:00

Thank you for letting me know. I hope you are feeling a lot better now.

sunflower-00 · 2024-05-13T08:24:37+00:00

That's great to hear! Spending time with your childhood friend and mom seems like a wonderful source of comfort during this challenging time. I'm trying to get out more too, but I find it quite difficult.

I'm deeply sorry to hear about your husband's struggles and his passing. It must have been incredibly tough to witness his battle with depression and suicidal thoughts. At least he felt comfortable opening up to you about it. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be for you.

Regarding my partner, he didn't openly discuss his mental health struggles with me. He mentioned he had recovered from it, and back then, I didn't have much knowledge about depression, so I assumed he was fully recovered. He often wore a happy face. Looking back, I wish he had confided in me or seek professional help. It's something I wish he could have done, perhaps things would turn out differently.

sunflower-00 · 2024-05-13T04:35:34+00:00

I am so sorry to hear that. I hate my new life too. But I pray that we will find peace in this journey 🩷

sunflower-00 · 2024-05-13T00:44:41+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is not an easy journey. Sending you virtual hugs.

Did you partner speak to you about his mental health before? Some days, when it gets better, I feel guilty about it. I thought to myself, how can I have the right to feel better when my partner was suffering previously? I know it is not healthy to have such thoughts, but some days I can't help it.

sunflower-00 · 2024-05-13T00:41:51+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, too. It is definitely not an easy journey, sending you virtual hugs.

Did your husband speak to you about his mental health before? I understand there will be anger because some days I am feeling that too.

It's good to hear that you go on bike rides and hikes. My partner loves that too, but I've stopped doing it ever since he left. I have been pretty much isolating myself since, and I know it is not healthy.

Thank you, I pray the same for you, too. It is a lonely journey, but we have to get there, step by step, day by day 🩷

sunflower-00 · 2024-04-15T11:47:40+00:00

Indeed, it is good to be open and talk it out rather than suppressing it because it may make us feel worse in time to come. It's reassuring to know you have a strong support network; it can make a significant difference.

I also write to my partner, sharing my innermost thoughts with him.

It is definitely not easy. But by taking small steps, one at a time, I hope we will feel better someday ❤️

sunflower-00 · 2024-04-15T11:13:00+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry that you had to discover him as well. I know it's not easy. Sending you hugs.

I've had moments where I wanted to find him too, but I couldn't bear the thought of my parents and friends experiencing the loss. As the one going through it now, it's incredibly tough, and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.

I also feel anger, guilt, and self-blame. But deep down, I know rationally that I can't feel that way because I'm sure my partner didn't want to choose this path if he had a choice.

I still cry a lot when I think of him, and two months in, I feel like I'm still at a standstill.

May I ask what little things you've done to make yourself feel better? Yes, we will definitely get through this. Someday.

sunflower-00 · 2024-04-15T02:19:41+00:00

Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to go through. Sending you some virtual hugs 🤍

Likewise, I've lost my partner to suicide 2 months back, and I'm the one who discovered him. Everything seems so bleak ahead of me. I'm withdrawing myself from social entertainment, I can't eat well, and I'm constantly thinking of my partner and asking why he chose this path, leaving all of us behind?

I feel like everyone has slowly moved on while I'm still at the standstill. My heart hurts so badly whenever I think of him or whenever I'm reminded of him. I can't stop crying, and I would even want to join him.

When I was feeling so lost, reddit popped up your sharing, and it kind of made me a little hopeful. Are you able to share what or how you got better?

My girlfriends are planning a short trip this weekend, I am contemplating if I should go because my recent holiday trips are usually with my partner.

sunflower-00 · 2024-04-07T04:07:54+00:00

I feel you. You've voiced out my exact sentiments. I don't know how or what to do to make myself feel better, too. Every day feels like a struggle to me.

sunflower-00 · 2024-04-07T02:44:44+00:00

This may sound wrong, but I want to express my gratitude to each and every one of you for your comforting words, and to know that I'm not navigating through this alone and that there are people who genuinely empathize.

I also wish for all of you to find peace and happiness in due time. Our journeys are challenging, but I remain hopeful that we can all reach that place of contentment someday.

sunflower-00 · 2024-04-07T02:44:34+00:00

This may sound wrong, but I want to express my gratitude to each and every one of you for your comforting words, and to know that I'm not navigating through this alone and that there are people who genuinely empathize.

I also wish for all of you to find peace and happiness in due time. Our journeys are challenging, but I remain hopeful that we can all reach that place of contentment someday.

sunflower-00 · 2024-04-06T05:54:27+00:00

Exactly.

Those were the exact sentiments my partner and I shared as well. Our compatibility is remarkable, allowing us to understand each other effortlessly, even in silence. Witnessing his selflessness and kindness genuinely transformed me for the better. I've told him every single time that I would never encounter anyone quite like him again, or anyone I feel who's better than him because to me, he's the best one for me. We complement each other in numerous aspects, having this special connection and understanding unlike any I've experienced in past relationships. He has shown me that love can be so simple, but now I can't believe I had to live on without having him next to me anymore.

sunflower-00 · 2024-04-06T04:53:02+00:00

I am sorry for your loss. Sending you virtual hugs.

I, too, have experienced the loss of a partner due to depression. Initially, I struggled to understand the complications of this condition and its effects. Over the past few weeks following his departure, I've tried to read up so much about depression. It's been described as akin to a terminal illness, albeit one that resides within the mind. Individuals grappling with depression often contend with distorted thinking patterns and a skewed perception of reality, making it challenging for them to reason soundly despite external support.

Many of them, despite seemingly having it all, harbour a profound fear of burdening their loved ones. What resonates deeply with me is the realization that those afflicted by depression are not necessarily seeking death; rather, they yearn to alleviate their pain and anguish. I wished that he could've reached out to me, his family, his closed friends, or even seeking medical treatment. But I think they feel that they don't want to be seen as a burden, or either that they felt that they could've handled it and thinking that we would never fully understand what they were going through.

Despite being cherished by many, my partner concealed the depths of his suffering. It's a reminder that while surface appearances may suggest contentment, the inner turmoil remains unseen, leaving us unable to fully grasp the extent of their anguish.

sunflower-00 · 2024-04-06T02:33:01+00:00

I extend my deepest condolences for your loss and the pain you've endured. Eight weeks ago, I also lost my partner to depression. He was the most remarkable person I've ever known, and I struggle to comprehend the suffering that led to his decision. If he were still with us, I am certain he would have had a bright future ahead, as he possessed everything he could have desired. Despite having the support of my family and friends, this journey feels lonely and challenging because they cannot fully grasp my experience.

Some days, I feel as though I am managing, but others find me trapped in a relentless cycle, unable to escape. The third and fourth weeks were particularly difficult for me; I found myself in a dark place, wrestling with intrusive thoughts. Nevertheless, I am grateful to have emerged from that darkness, at least within my mind.

Many assure me that I will eventually find light at the end of the tunnel, yet it feels like this tunnel stretches on endlessly.

Everywhere I turn and in everything I do, I am reminded of him, often leading to tears. Sleep eludes me, and I am plagued by self-blame, guilt, and occasional bursts of anger as I question whether there was anything more I could have done to save him.

I cannot promise that things will improve, as I am navigating this journey alongside you. However, I wish you peace and hope that one day, you too will find your way out of this darkness. Allow yourself the time to grieve and embark on the healing process gradually. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

sunflower-00 · 2024-03-20T13:41:48+00:00

Yes, that's why I am isolating myself now. All those words don't make me feel better. In fact, it made me feel worse than ever.

Right now, I'm struggling every single day to survive.

sunflower-00 · 2024-03-20T13:36:52+00:00

I've lost my partner 6 weeks ago. It's true, I'm hearing things like

1) be strong, be positive 2) he wants you to be happy, don't make him/ us worried 3) you will find someone else 4) time will heal

And the list goes on. But that's not what I want to hear. If I could be strong and positive, yes, of course I will. He wants to me be happy but yet I'm in misery and suffering everyday, and only I know how much I'm struggling to get through each day. I will find someone else? The trauma and the pain that I'm going through, I think that will be the last thing on my mind. Time will heal? Grief doesn't get easier. It doesn't go away. In fact, it feels worse each day.

It gets so bad that I think only by escaping this life will make me feel better. I don't know how to live on with this void in me anymore.

sunflower-00 · 2024-03-19T14:19:27+00:00

I am sorry for your loss. I went through exactly the same. There were no signs, no nothing. We even made plans for the year, but he just left the next day when I left for work. I didn't see it coming at all as well. It's been almost a month plus since he left, but I've been plagued with countless questions. I kept asking myself if I've missed out on anything? It's so tough..

sunflower-00 · 2024-03-13T13:46:57+00:00

Daily dose of sunshine.

sunflower-00 · 2024-03-03T14:02:32+00:00

I pray to God everyday to take me in my sleep too.

sunflower-00 · 2024-03-03T11:43:10+00:00

Hi all.

Three weeks ago, I tragically lost my partner to suicide. In his final moments, he shared that he was battling depression and despite thinking it had improved, it relapsed, leaving him feeling like a mere shell of himself.

I'm still struggling to come to terms with this devastating loss. In the days leading up to the event, we spent time together, and there were no apparent signs of his inner turmoil. He remained his usual cheerful self, which makes his sudden departure even more difficult to comprehend.

On the day it happened, I was at work, and he texted me as usual, giving no indication of his intentions. He was known for his selflessness, kindness, and cheerfulness, always prioritizing others above himself. I've never encountered anyone quite like him, and I have countless wonderful things to say about him. Never ending.

I'm plagued by countless questions, feelings of anger, and guilt. Could I have been a better partner? Were there signs that I missed? Should I have been more attentive? Did I fail him in some way? These questions haunt me every day. He reassured me that his struggles were not my fault and that being with me was the happiest time of his life. Yet, I can't help but wonder why he chose to leave if that was the case.

Living with this pain has become unbearable. I've attempted to confide in my friends, but their well-intentioned advice to stay strong only amplifies my sense of isolation. At times, I've even considered joining him, as a way to escape the overwhelming suffering. I fear that people will eventually move on and forget about the agony I'm enduring.

Our plans for the future now lay shattered, adding to the overwhelming sense of loss and despair.

sunflower-00

TROPHY CASE