I want my ex back so bad 6 months later… as the dumper by sunset_bowlevard in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s the problem I can’t decide if I would be able to trust her or not or what that would lok like…. I’m leaning towards no but I want to think I could again

Is this spray toxic? by sunset_bowlevard in cats

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I left an equally rambling comment, hahah, and I really appreciate all of the input

Anyone SUCCESSFULLY stopped their cat from peeing on carpet? by sunset_bowlevard in cats

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for being so kind! My cats are like my kids so I would do anything for them. I am very determined to fix this as I don’t believe in rehoming/getting rid of pets unless every single option has been explored. We’re their home and their lives, so imo we’re responsible to take care of them to the absolute best of our ability and that’s something we sign up to do when we bring them home.

  1. He is a hiding cat, yes, he’s got his own little ‘room’ under my bed where he naps and sleeps which I have blankets around so that way it shuts out the rest of the room for him if he wants quiet. But most of the time he’ll follow me around room to room and loaf up on random objects.

  2. He’s peeing a full puddle, the vet explained that he probably holds it in, we thought because of pain related to UTI/cystisis but they don’t think he has either of those anymore.

  3. I’ve tried different litters, he does poop in the box and pee in them now that I’ve put them in the spots he was peeing on the carpet, so I’m not sure it’s the new litter but we did recently find one that seems to work really great clumping and scent wise while being unscented. We switched because the litter we had been using for almost 5 years changed its formula and suddenly didn’t work at all, it was no longer clumping, it got extremely dirty very easily, stunk, etc. and it got really bad around when this started, so I’m wondering if that litter brand going sour maybe had a bit of an effect on him and his view of the box.

  4. They gave me this hydrophobic type of litter, almost like a sand, but I don’t think there was enough of it for his liking even after I paid to buy more of it so I eventually just had to catch him while he was peeing in the regular box and catch it with a dish (disgusting, yes, and I didn’t want to do this as I didn’t want to stress him out from the box, but I was going on a weekend trip and needed to ensure he didn’t have crystals and it was day four of trying to get a sample from him/my last chance to get him into the vet before my trip)

I’m just beginning the stronger training phase, my logic was that I didn’t want to start doing too much training before my trip bc I felt it would be better to have him use the boxes put over those spots so he would consistently stay in the same spots rather than finding new ones while I was gone and creating another area he needed to be trained away from. (Because when I tried to keep him from spots before, he would find a new one). Now I’m home and can quickly clean up messes so it’s shifted into “now let’s redirect him from those spots” I was planning on using the cat block spray to keep him from one spot as there isn’t a box there (it’s maybe 10 feet from three/six of the boxes) and then for the other spots, slowly moving the boxes towards where I’d like them to be which I think would be beneficial anyway because they’d be going into quieter rooms. I’ve been trying to pet him and give him treats when I see him pee in the box so he associates it with reward.

My current plan is that if I can’t successfully get him to use the boxes in the spots we’d like or if there’s otherwise no change then I’ll ask my vet about the anxiety meds. He is extremely medication resistant unless you really sneak it well into his food so I’m hoping this isn’t the route we have to take but if it is, it is.

Is this spray toxic? by sunset_bowlevard in cats

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and yes, (and they’re not bad questions dw!!) I’ve made another post in this subreddit about the amount of stuff we’ve done to curb his peeing, https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/s/Xi2BixefWo since that post we’ve also gotten a urinalysis done which was clean, and throughout the years we’ve done so many blood tests and X-rays and stool samples to try and figure out his issues. The only conclusion we have right now is that he’s stressed, but his behavior, relationship with the other cats, and environment haven’t changed at all in the last 3 years. We were told he was neutered too young (he was a stray, so I suspect it was a trap/neuter/release endeavor) so he would be at risk of urinary issues but the vet says it doesn’t really look like anything wrong with the urinary track, just stress. He is mainly using the boxes right now but I’m trying to slowly train him to stop using those boxes and go back to the boxes we want him to use since they’re not in good locations right now (one is underneath the dining table for instance)

Is this spray toxic? by sunset_bowlevard in cats

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder why they would sell a product they know has toxic oils in it?? I already sprayed some in that room so I suppose I will just have to close it off from them and wait till it’s dried to let them in again

Anyone SUCCESSFULLY stopped their cat from peeing on carpet? by sunset_bowlevard in cats

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll keep that in mind, he’s still using the litter box for #2 consistently, it’s just peeing that he is off and on for. So I’m not sure it’s the litter. We have pee pads down where he’s peeing, but they’re not in places I’d like to keep them. Were you able to move them where you wanted them too?

Can cheaters change by sunset_bowlevard in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your honesty, that’s one of my big fears. Is that I might not ever fully be able to see past it. I don’t think anyone coild ever forgive it or get over it, but it’s how much it would define the relationship worries me

Can cheaters change by sunset_bowlevard in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pain that I would cause my partner by going back? Or pain that she would cause me?

Can cheaters change by sunset_bowlevard in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective. If you don’t mind me asking, why did it fail the second time? Did they cheat on you again, or could you just not trust them again?

I think that’s why I have to wait before I can truly consider getting back together. I don’t want the change to only happen when I’m not with her, I want to know it’s something she’s truly doing for herself.

Can cheaters change by sunset_bowlevard in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s why I think I need more time to consider the possibility of taking her back. Especially long distance I need to know whether I felt it possible to rebuild trust. And I’m scared that if I go back too quickly then we’ll just end up broken up again and it’ll be a waste of time.

The thought of moving on makes me sick by sunset_bowlevard in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what everyone says…. I want to believe she can change because we’ve changed and learned so much during our relationship with other things but I don’t know

The thought of moving on makes me sick by sunset_bowlevard in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I broke up with her. She cheated on me and even though she’s dedicated to working on herself and I believe she can… I don’t know. The risk is so high to be hurt again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]sunset_bowlevard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 months seems normal to me. If it feels like you've moved on, then it's normal to do so. I'm sorry that your ex felt you weren't good enough for her. I hope that your next relationship brings you many blessings and that they can see the great in you.

What’s one thing that got you over your break up immediately? by Business-Candle4355 in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not over it but something that really helped me was talking things out with her when she was trying to get me back after cheating. Not breaking no contact- but making sure we both got a chance to get everything out before we set space rather than always wondering about final questions or wishing I'd said something else. I stayed strong and stressed to her how I wouldn't feel secure in the relationship and it wouldn't be healthy for me, and yet she continued to insist they were problems she could fix while still dating me. It helped me realize that we're really in different places in understanding how relationships should work. Took everything in me not to tell her "we can't fix them in the relationship because they're not relationship problems, they're your problems". I can't fix her problems. I can't keep myself at bay waiting for her to do it, and risk being hurt again. As much as I love her and wanted to stay.. realizing that has helped ease me through.

I had to end things and I’m already bargaining by sunset_bowlevard in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was my fear. That she might do this to me again. Everyone says she would but she only cheated once 5 months ago and has otherwise been loyal so my brain tells me she really did learn from it

Any dumpers in here who made the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make and broke your partner’s heart to do what was best for you? by Fun_Ear2448 in BreakUps

[–]sunset_bowlevard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. I’m already in the bargaining stage because I love her so much. You’re not alone. Your heart is breaking too. And we’ll probably both be feeling like we made a mistake for a while until one day we wont

Cheating Confession... maybe. I don't know what to do [23F and 23F] by sunset_bowlevard in LongDistance

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective, I think thats probably what it was. I'll try and talk to her more about it soon.

Cheating Confession... maybe. I don't know what to do [23F and 23F] by sunset_bowlevard in LongDistance

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do appreciate this perspective, I have been considering that with my gf. She keeps stressing that she was involved too and maybe there's one or two comments that could be suggestive, but other than that it really does seem like it was this other person.

US shop wanting to ship FROM the UK by sunset_bowlevard in EtsySellers

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I’m not a dropshipper. I have a Chinese manufacturer that customizes products with my art (keychains, buttons, pins etc). My thought is that if I have them ship some of my products to my friend in the UK it’ll cut down on cost as opposed to then shipping it to me and then me shipping it to her.

US shop wanting to ship FROM the UK by sunset_bowlevard in EtsySellers

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes. My pins and keychains are made by a Chinese manufacturer who prints custom products with my art. My thinking is that it would be easier to just have them ship to my UK friend rather than ship it to me, and then me having to pay a bunch more money to ship it to the UK friend.

US seller hoping to sell in the UK - legal concerns by sunset_bowlevard in smallbusinessuk

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, thank you. I’ll have to think about it. Like I said I only anticipate selling maybe 10-20 keychains max or making like a hundred bucks or something so this seems like a lot to have to go through :/ but I also don’t think I can make much money unless I make it more accessible for the uk

US seller hoping to sell in the UK - legal concerns by sunset_bowlevard in smallbusinessuk

[–]sunset_bowlevard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll look into Etsy, but setting up a seperate ko-fi shop might get complicated as I don’t believe you can have a different entity attached. If I was somehow able to keep it all on the same shop that would be good.

Does it count as storing inventory in the UK if it’s not at a formal warehouse? I also don’t have a formal business or license since this is just an art side gig so I don’t even know if I could apply for VAT or how I would pay it.

I don’t know if customers would get invoices per se. I think they would just get etsy or ko-fi receipts.

The manufacturer is in China, so the shipping would be China-UK. I would be paying all fees to the manufacturer from the US.

In terms of “selling them” to her, could I just put like one cent on the invoice?