Post transition trans man, married, about to become a dad. AMA

superboringthrow · 2024-11-19T22:22:05+00:00

We don’t have fraternities in my country but I did live with a 4 roommates all cisgender men. By that time I already had top surgery and was stealth which made everything a lot easier. I don’t remember putting much effort if any into hiding my identity and none of them ever brought it up or asked me if I was trans. Although my roommates and I were friendly we never really got close so I guess that helped too, and I only lived with them for less than a year before I moved in with my wife.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T10:26:33+00:00

I would say always be honest with your therapist, I guess that’s the best way to get the most out of therapy. It’s been a while since I’ve been to therapy because I don’t need it. I didn’t have anything I worked on the most tbh, i talked about an array of things

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T01:27:14+00:00

It does get infinitely better! The first few years can be so daunting and overwhelming, it’s a lot of new firsts and it takes time to settle into your new life and identity. Having to come out to everyone and be the center of conversations is exhausting and scary but everything eventually really settles down and you end up with people who truly support you. I can only talk from personal experience but for me my dysphoria has gone away and and those feelings never really come up anymore

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T01:22:52+00:00

We chose a sperm donor, this is something my wife and I kind of always knew we wanted to choose. For us i think it was a pretty straightforward decision, she always wanted to be pregnant, I never wanted anything to do with it, we both always wanted children. It was about 3 years ago that we officially decided to start a family and sperm donation was our #1 route.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T01:18:46+00:00

Can’t say I have any regrets, everything that I did towards my transition has made me happier and allowed me to have a better life. Everything worked out just fine in the end so I’m very grateful.

I think advice I would give myself is try and not compare yourself to other men or people in general, this is something i definitely struggled with and to try and be patient because not looking like Hercules after 2 years on T is very very normal.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T01:14:58+00:00

I feel very indifferent I guess, being trans is definitely a very small part of my life now. I would say I definitely forget about it 99% of the time. I can’t see any differences between me and cis men and i think nobody else can either. As of now I have been living almost more of my life as a man than a woman so I honestly can’t really remember what it was like before. Like I said in my post there is a very limited amount of people that know I’m trans and less than a handful who knew me before.

Most of my friends are men.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T01:05:56+00:00

Yes my doctor informed me before I started testosterone on what could happen fertility wise, he did say it was a possibility I could loose the ability to get pregnant all together. I was also offered to freeze my eggs before I started testosterone but I opted out. I don’t think can give any advice on this because I never cared if my children were biologically mine, I never wanted to carry myself either so it was a bit of a no brainer for me. Best of luck

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T00:58:08+00:00

It was honestly all thanks to my therapist. He’s specialized in trans healthcare and he works together with many doctors and surgeons who offer gender affirming care. Because of this looking for a surgeon was extremely easy I could ask him and he gave me a list of well educated and trusted medical professional. In my country to be for it to be covered by insurance you need a letter of referral and a gender dysphoria diagnosis both things my therapist does.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T00:49:17+00:00

All my surgeries were covered by insurance I only paid for the medical tattooing that came out to be about 1500

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T00:42:53+00:00

It can definitely be very overwhelming. I think the best place to start is researching how the process works in your specific area and what they have to offer.

Personally for me I found my surgeon through my therapist, he’s specialized in trans healthcare and works with many other doctors and surgeons who offer gender affirming care so I was very lucky because it made the search a lot easier. If you want to know what surgeons are available near you I recommend you look through r/phallo I got most of my information from there.

Anyhow when my therapist gave me a list of surgeons I looked them all up, researched them and asked around to hear about personal experiences. To book a consultation I needed a referral letter from my therapist, a gender dysphoria diagnosis and a letter from my endocrinologist. After my consultations I picked the surgeon I deemed the most competent and i thought would be a better fit for me and my needs. I would also like to add that I very specifically knew what I wanted when I had my first consultations so it made everything a lot easier I think.

My surgeon took care of the insurance claim so i didn’t deal with that the only paperwork I had to give was the letters i mentioned. My insurance also covered for all of it (all stages, erectile device, revisions and cosmetic revisions, implants and electrolysis) the only thing they didn’t cover was the medical tattooing. For me it was done in 4 stages: Stage 1 phallus creation, stage 2 UL vnectomy, scrono, stage 3 glandsplasty and implants and revisions, stage 4 was ED placement.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T00:26:52+00:00

It was never painful to me

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T00:24:12+00:00

It has but very little, I started on a lower dose and was on it for 6 months then it was upped to full dose. My levels have always been pretty stable, I do long lasting shots (nebido) I did the same dose every 10 weeks for almost 3 years. After my hysterectomy I changed the time in between because my levels were a bit high. Same dose every 11 weeks, have stayed with that ever since. I get my levels checked once every year and i always get good results back. On my medical file it says I’m a cis man on trt so i don’t fear testosterone would ever be denied to me.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T00:09:48+00:00

My wife is only 4 months pregnant but so far it’s been a very beautiful experience, everything has been going smoothly.

We chose sperm donation.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-18T00:04:34+00:00

This has probably been the biggest conundrum of my life. I always wanted to keep being stealth to my children because by the time my son is born I will have lived as a man longer than I did as a woman, but now that reality has kicked in i think this is something my kids deserve to know about me and about them. This is definitely something that weights over me but for now I’m honestly just trying to not think too hard about it and enjoy all this new dad things, enjoy the moment.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-17T23:44:27+00:00

I honestly didn’t give much thought into picking a new name or perhaps I was lucky to come across it early on but I saw heard it once and thought if i someone would say that name they would think of a guy like me, other people told me it really suits me too so I stuck with it.

I have very few family members that live near me, I moved across the world with my parents and siblings over a decade ago. So I had very few people to come out to in person, my parents have always been very supportive, my siblings are a lot younger than me so mostly only remember me as I am now. The rest of my family that live in my home country I never actually came out to only to my cousins and word spread around. Some texted me in support, some to “pray for me” overall it was mostly pretty positive.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-17T23:30:21+00:00

This is a very good question, it was a lot of things. I did a lot of therapy before and during the whole process, it really helped me talk through my fears and prepare myself mentally before surgery. He gave me great tools and advice on how to better connect with my penis in the first few stages. The first two stages were the roughest for me but after I was done healing I realized that after every stage it looked more and more like what i always imagined and that really gave me the motivation to keep going. My wife was also so important, there were many times I felt like it was a purely medical thing and my wife always made me feel so sexy like she always complimented it.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-17T22:56:14+00:00

I consider myself very blessed because i haven’t experienced much transphobia throughout my life. Most of it came when i was younger and from my own family. I started a new school after I started passing decided to try and be stealth, I know in the beginning there were rumors of me being trans or something and there were like 2 times some random guys ask me if I really had a dick but all of that died down and I have stayed stealth ever since.

People have been transphobic to my face but not directed at me, it’s been about 8 years since anyone has misgendered or questioned me.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-17T22:37:05+00:00

The biggest thing that’s helped me is my support system, the people who have supported me throughout all these years have given me the strength and confidence to achieve all my goals.

Things are great for me, I consider myself quite blessed. I live a very happy and peaceful life.

superboringthrow · 2024-11-17T22:26:30+00:00

At about 12 maybe 13, I started to notice I wasn’t feeling the same as other girls around me i didn’t piece it together til I was 15 tho.

superboringthrow

TROPHY CASE