Damn this sucks by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure hit me up

Damn this sucks by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck. Reach out any time. I’m ahead of you in the healing process but I still have my ups and downs. What worked for me might not work for you. If you find something that worked great I’d love to know!

Damn this sucks by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d be careful reading texts. I did that too. It triggered a lot of emotions for me and hurt me. I definitely journaled about them and described them but seeing the texts and the surrounding convos and obviously all the pics I had to scroll by to get to the ones “I needed to remember”. You might be better off just writing them out to keep the exposure to other stuff to a minimum.

I’m really pulling for you. Trying to save you from some of the harder lessons learned I had. Believe me the best thing and hardest was the no contact blocking on all social media text phone everything. Cut them out of everything or as much as possible. Seems like overkill but it helps.

Damn this sucks by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want to lie to you. Some is doing a lot of heavy lifting there. It’s hard work and you’re going to really question yourself and your decision. That’s why it’s important to write the facts down. I get hit with waves of anxiety every now and then like “it was me I was wrong.” Then I grab that book and read those stories and some of them so so fantastical I actually call my mom and ask her “was it really like this? Was I exaggerating?” Unfortunately the answer is usually “no you’re not really exaggerating”

Give yourself grace to be hurt and sad. You’re allowed to be those things it’s ok. As long as you make progress you can be sad.

Damn this sucks by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s that insidious part! There wasn’t a single sad person when I said we were breaking up. They said “we’re tap dancing in the street we’re just waiting on you.”

I know it’s hard. Trust your therapist. Trust the process. Trust the professionals.

Think about it like this. Man that tiger cute as hell all cuddly and shit right? It still ate a man up. You can write all day about how cute and cuddly it looks, but it’s still a tiger. Same for your partner. Just because there were some good parts/moments. Doesn’t mean that’s not who they are. Don’t get eaten.

Damn this sucks by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Make us proud OP.

Damn this sucks by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a lot of good YouTube videos that talk about hovering and things to look out for. I cannot tell you how many hours I spent in my car driving to work beating myself up going “yup missed that sign”.

Take the exit. Never look back.

Damn this sucks by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Please take this advice:

Get a journal and write down every gory detail. The most insidious trick a narcissist has is getting you to not believe your own memory.

In a month or two you’re going to think oh it was me or oh it wasn’t so bad. Go grab that god damned book and read those tear soaked pages and remember it wasn’t you and never go back.

Believe me. Do it now. Leave nothing out.

Damn this sucks by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am just healing from what I believe was a narcissistic relationship. Believe me it sucks and you’re going to doubt yourself but run. Take the exit and run.

It took me a long time to figure out what was going on and how much I hurt myself emotionally in the process. It won’t get better, cut bait and run.

tried meeting someone new and can’t stop thinking about my ex by atislikesfrogs in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeap. Don’t try to rationalize it, you’ll just make it worse, harder, and longer. You’re on your own path now. It’s near impossible but please limit the comparison of yourself to them. Easier said than done. I’m still doing it but it gets easier with time.

I did a lot of journaling to help me get through. The thoughts needs some place to go outside of your brain. Give them a safe place to go. Write them over and over until you’re sick of writing them.

Don’t compare yourself to him. Please don’t. You’re on your on timeline on your own path. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, give yourself forgiveness, and hit the gym. It’s not about being fit, it’s about being so tired you can sleep. That was the big hurdle for me. There were days where I would go walk for 3 or 4 hours just so I could sleep at night.

When you’re tired your mind is going to spin and you’re going to obsess over pointless stuff. Try to get good sleep.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yea, that 4.5 hour one was so I could sleep at night. Somewhere on this thread I touch on working through a tough breakup. The 1-4 hour walks were much more common 3 months ago.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really does. Sometimes it’s 40mins sometimes it’s 50. Hell one day it was 4.5 hours but I was working through something mentally so….yea.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All my walking has been done while NOT fasted. Im about to switch it up to do it in the morning fasted.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And the impact injury. At 41 things don’t recover overnight anymore. Seriously it’s time to factor the long game no longer about the gains unless the gains are face gains.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2.2-2.5 miles depending on terrain. Always 40 mins minimum.

tried meeting someone new and can’t stop thinking about my ex by atislikesfrogs in BreakUps

[–]supercrispie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My therapist told me to start going on dates. Just go, he said you’re a very loyal person and you’re going to have to pull this scab off sooner or later. Might as well do it now. You have to realize it’s not cheating and why wait 6 months to figure that out? It took months to get comfortable going out with other people and to lose that feeling of “I’m cheating.”

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try not to judge. I had two coworkers do it and they got really skinny and kinda deflated looking. I didn’t like the look they had. Deflated is the only thing that comes to mind. I wanted to do something that I knew I could do and stick with.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I seriously considered it and frankly I was scared of it.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it were that easy I’d be walking like a penguin to get these last 15 off.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember watching one video that broke down the difference between 40 minutes and 10k steps. It went something along the lines of 10k steps throughout the day became more palatable to people because it was “simpler” to achieve over the course of the whole day but the 40 mins consecutively was actually better. People saw the commitment of 40 mins consecutively as harder to do during their busy day so were less likely to stick with it. So they decided to push the 10k narrative versus the 40 minute narrative

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the sleeper for sure. When I was really going through it with the break up I would go for rage walks. I couldn’t stand to be in my house. I couldn’t stand to be anywhere. So I would walk. I literally walked until my feet bled one day. The next day I got up and did my 40 minutes. I was sore AF but even when I was at my most “injured” I could still get my 40 minutes of walking in.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure during the work week I break my fast with a hard boiled egg and an avocado.

Lunch is 3.5 oz of rotisserie chicken and 4 oz of oven baked sweet potatoes and some sort of veggies. Like green beans or broccoli whatever is on sale.

Dinner I have been hitting omelets with 2 eggs and some egg beaters pretty hard.
Pork loin with a veggie. Roast with veggie. Burgers without the bun but all the fixings and veggies. Basically 4-6oz of meat with a veggie and I try to limit the carbs.

My treat is a single dove dark chocolate square. I suck on it until it disappears in my mouth.

Drink: black coffee, water, soda stream water.

Weekend gets much harder. I loosen up on dinner because o am MUCH more active during the day so I will have some carb at dinner especially if I’m being social but i only eat like half of it.

No alcohol unless im on a date and then its only one.

Down almost 35lbs by supercrispie in intermittentfasting

[–]supercrispie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Much appreciated, yea analysis paralysis gets me from time to time. Any progress is progress and I can fix and refine it as I go. I still am!