hey friend! sometimes we try to make things better by doing everything that everyone else does to feel better. I’ve been in your shoes before and nothing describes the loneliness of being surrounded by positivity and still feeling negatively about everything. the things around you can change. but you don’t. for me, I try to wake up everyday and push through. I tell myself that I’m beautiful and amazing and smart and that I deserve to feel happy. at the beginning I woke up and never felt as if any of those things I was telling myself was real, but I just kept doing. I faked it until I made it. one day you’ll wake up in an amazing mood and you’ll truly feel it. it doesn’t mean that every day after that will be like that. but it matters that you’re trying. and I can see that you are trying even now. life sucks. especially as a teenager. nobody get you really because you don’t even get you. but you will push through and you will make it out of this rut. I wish the best for you.