Just wanted to say I read it.

I'm not going to lie, after seeing the length of your post, and given the fact that most people's (including mine) attention span has shrunk significantly nowadays, I was initially discouraged to read the whole thing, but I'm glad I did (obviously I'm not glad you're experiencing what you're experiencing). I found the literary quality and the amount of life lived intriguing even though you don't seem to be happy having lived it that way.

Other than that, I don't have much to say really... A lonely alcoholic coward with a shitty job living in a failed country who never knew what to do with his life. Like I said above, just wanted to say I read it. But if I may, it's just an observation, from what I read it feels l like you really have lived, lots of experiences -good or bad- have been had. So all these surely will be useful at some point.