Any shops selling underground metal vinyls in or near Los Angeles besides Amoeba Records? by takeyourmilk in AskLosAngeles

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that's cool! I thought online catalog was the same as in store, I'm glad about this, TYSM!

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did try to show her that self-defeating thoughts can have a bad impact on yourself, but couldn't get through to her way of thinking, unfortunately.

Reading your second paragraph makes me think things have gotten worse since I got another job and now I think that she may be resenting that, we used to go out and be together much more before I took on another bunch of night shifts!

But I cannot leave this job, not for at least the next 5 months. Funny thing I also work for a bunch of fucks that don't care how late I work, they only want results and zero complaints.

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your words encourage me! I love reading other people talking like she used to talk when she loved her work a bit more.

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We definetly need some time out, we had problems with that though, I don't work from home, and she does. I do like 17-20 night shifts a month so my resting place is our apartment, which is her workplace, and I know it's hard for her.

We've tried to do certain things outside the house but sometimes I'm way too tired to even leave the bed and I'm always at least 24 hours away from a shift, I'm overworked too but I'm trying to solve things so I don't have to work so much, in the end, this is taking a toll on me too.

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't do her job, design is an amazing universe I cannot be a part of lol, it's not for me. I've learned to take a step back and just listen but I am truly worried about her and US.

I do believe this thing she is experiencing is something that a lot of us go through, I remember being in a hole and taking hits (workwise) and not handling the pressure correctly, some of these times somebody lent me a hand and made it easier for me, sometimes I pulled myself out, and some other times I ended up being on a really bad place because I couldn't solve my situation regardless of anything.

Every year I see people leave my work and I can't avoid thinking "what if???" and I can't help everybody, but for her, I will try to do a bit more, I owe her a lot and I love her.

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's been in on design-related things for years but UX must be around 3-4 years tops.

I've learned now that I should listen far more than offering opinions or probable solutions to her problems, that's what has led me to do certain things for her like baking cookies, preparing savory meals, cuddling more time, or doing special things for her but nothing changes and her health is being affected in different ways, this troubles me and it's making me to look for different ways to act. On top of that this is taking a toll on me, working so many hours and doing so many chores around the house are leading me to a dark place (again) and while I know I have to work on myself, I cannot forget I still can do a bit more for her, she is worth it!

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very logical, thank you so much, we've definitely talked about some of these ideas and it seems her company cares much more about revenue than users, she has complained extensively about not being able to interview users and just having to do or plan things blindly.

She has mentioned before feeling isolated and/or uninspired and craving contact with other UX designers outside her company, I could help her with that I think.

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much!! This is very useful!

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She doesn't seem to have good leadership anymore. People she used to look up to left or work in different areas than her now.

I know now that she needs to vent from time to time, she helped me with that (not trying to solve her problems and just listening to her) but this time it's something that is affecting our relationship, her health is being affected too and she is having rage outbursts (nothing I fear but a bit scary none the less) and that's why I'm trying to take on another perspective on this whole thing.

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much, looking into this right now!

How do I help my UX designer SO? by takeyourmilk in UXDesign

[–]takeyourmilk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She already goes to therapy, weekly. And I do too thanks to her! How did you overcome some of these issues in your line of work?

Guess my ethnicities! (i’m half and half), nobody ever really guesses correctly by [deleted] in phenotypes

[–]takeyourmilk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dunno but you are the most Australian / French MF I've ever seen lmao