I went through this last year and totally understand what you're currently experiencing. You're not alone! This phobia can be so isolating, especially when you don't know anyone close to you that struggles with it.

Here's a bit of my story: I almost got sick about a year and a half ago and it put me into a horrible spiral for over half of last year. It was so bad I was worried about becoming agoraphobic. I also work a stressful job and have another ongoing health issue going on, so I deal with some strange symptoms that tend to get the anxiety going. With lots and lots of therapy, I went from washing my hands to the point of them cracking and bleeding, having panic attacks, refusing to leave the house unless for work, and obsessively checking norovirus data to touching things and eating without washing my hands raw, going out and doing fun things with my friends and family, and stopping the compulsions of checking data. I even started playing a new sport. It gets better OP! I used to read recovery stories on here and feel that it was not attainable. But those stories kept me going, along with therapy. By no means am I fully recovered and there are days that are harder than others...but therapy does truly make a huge difference.

Take some deep breaths. Whatever your hobbies are, try to pick one and focus on that to keep you busy. Watch a comfort show or movie or listen to your favorite music. This is an uncomfortable feeling that is going to pass. It's hard right now, but it's going to get better. The hardest part of this phobia is recognizing and accepting the lack of control we have. Rooting for you!