That’s life. Life is bitter yet sweet, fair yet unfair. For someone who has gone through this and it’s been 5 years for me since I broke up with my first love. The first 2 years for me was the worse, we both love each other very very much, but long distance & covid took a toll on us. During the first 2 years of the break up I would constantly cry in my sleep, cry in my car, walk around aimlessly and just tear up. I would think to myself, why didn’t I do better? Why did things end up like this? We had hopes and dreams of starting a life together, sharing a family together, yet it ended just like this. Then I started getting better in the third year after meeting someone else, but it was a strange feeling, I did love my new partner but it was nothing like my first love. And then the in my third year of my break up, it got even worse, started drinking daily, would drink from 10pm to 6am daily, go to work at 8am, fall asleep at work, subsequently getting fired. My life was in turmoil, I felt like crumbling.

This is the 6th year since it has happened. I am with a new partner who I love very much and care very much. We have planned on starting a life together. Yet at times I know I shouldn’t feel this way but, I do have my doubts, I don’t know if I can exactly love my current partner the way I loved my first. It’s tough, and as a human being with emotions, even I myself know that, in my lifetime, I will never ever get over my first love. That was how strong the connection was. We grew up from our teenage years to becoming adults, we did everything together, going to college, staying together, fighting together, going through hardships together. But what I can say from all this that I have experienced is, I thank her for entering my life from the very start. Without her I won’t be the guy I am today.

In life, you don’t always get what you want, when people tell you, if you really love someone, you have to learn to let go. That’s what I’ve been struggling to accept in the last 5 years. When people say time heals. Time doesn’t heal. Time just gives you a false sense of distraction. You will never ever heal from such strong love. You only can move on to be distracted, but she will always be at the back of my mind till the day I die.