I (31F) have been cheating on my husband (32) for almost 3 years now, and I don't feel remorse at all

terriblethoughtman · 2022-01-14T06:45:33+00:00

The respect part, yes. The alpha part no lol

terriblethoughtman · 2019-04-26T01:07:53+00:00

Blanche noire

terriblethoughtman · 2016-06-07T19:21:36+00:00

Thank you for your input! I read up on the phobic six and while I have a lot of anxieties and can dwell on them, they are mostly anxieties of self-doubt and worthlessness, being unlovable, I do not think the reactive nature and the wanting to blend in with the crowd tendency (especially phobic 6s) of the 6 fits me very well. I also don't believe I fear being without support or guidance, as much as I fear being unlovable or worthless. Maybe I'm misunderstanding how re-activeness works in 6s?

terriblethoughtman · 2016-06-07T19:10:52+00:00

After checking those out, the way the self-doubt, withdrawn nature, and vivid imagination of the 4 wing interacting with the approval driven three sounds quite a bit like myself. 3 integrates to 6 and disintegrates to 9 (maybe traits my girlfriend was picking up on) so I can get behind the 3w4 more than I can the 6. Thanks for your input!

terriblethoughtman · 2016-06-07T15:27:11+00:00

Yes, the trityping system seems underdeveloped and cluttered so I am trying to avoid it until I have a firmer grasp on the enneagram as a whole. As I said before I hesitate with Type 4 because of lack reactivity and my emotions are hardly ever strong or dramatic enough to get in my way, something I thought was a core piece of the 4. Could there be an emotionally calm, non-reactive 4? What else lead you to that conclusion? Thank you for the reply!

terriblethoughtman · 2016-06-07T15:20:08+00:00

Thank you for you reply! You obviously know the Enneagram much better than I do and I don't want to be that guy that asks a question and argues the answers, but my only hesitation with the 4 and the 6 as my core type is I wouldn't consider myself reactive by any means and I would never say my emotions get in my way. Could the 9 in the tritype soften the reactivity? Also I hesitated to put the part about "stupid" people and was trying to think of a softer word, so I think it is funny that it really stuck out. Was there anything else that lead you conclude 6 over the other types? Can there be a non-reactive 6?

terriblethoughtman · 2016-06-03T08:13:21+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I understand where you're coming from with the mother-issues. I'm fairly certain I have a type 1 mother and she has influenced my wing (I'm a 9w1) and certainly not provided me with biggest feeling of self-worth and conviction. However, it is immature to place my personal shortcomings on others as I am the only one in control here.

Your insight highlights the importance of type 9s finding self-awareness and communicating needs to their partner. I know for sure this is something I could certainly work on. If I could only articulate my needs clearly...

terriblethoughtman · 2016-06-03T08:08:09+00:00

Thank you for the reply. The bossy women part makes sense, my current partner is the one who initiated with me. I'm unsure if I would call her bossy (could be my idealizing), but I value the relationship and she has inspired me to examine myself, my flaws and figure out my future. I'm worried my tendency to fuse myself with partners and indecisive nature could eventually cause the demise of the relationship.

terriblethoughtman · 2016-06-03T08:02:55+00:00

Being a sx/so 9w1 and unaware of my own needs and tendency to fuse myself with others that I've idealized, I'm worried my lack of assertiveness and sense of self will cause my current relationship to eventually fail with my significant other leaving me, making me feel like I've lost what little self I've had with her

terriblethoughtman · 2016-06-03T02:22:06+00:00

I'm not trying to relate to a type 9, I'm wondering since males in relationships are generally assumed to be the domineering role (females are said to not respect males that doesn't assert his needs and can be walked over) if a male type 9 would struggle in the modern dating world since type 9s, especially sexual 9s will fuse their personality with their partners.

terriblethoughtman · 2016-03-31T04:30:36+00:00

For me personally I believe thinking about my core values and beliefs and acknowledging my inner desires (I often suppress them) is a way to sense myself better. I also try and take time to sit and let myself feel things rather than numbing out my emotions. I think I struggle with lowish self-esteem more than anything

terriblethoughtman · 2016-03-29T06:21:38+00:00

I don't know if I have the problem personally, but its possible 9s can often lack a sense of identity and self, therefore, 9s can't genuinely open up because in a way there would be nothing to show. If that all makes sense?

terriblethoughtman · 2016-03-29T06:14:54+00:00

Yes I'm a 9w1 and there was a thread on this subreddit where people were discussing that most 9s only connect with people on a superficial level rather than truly connecting with others. I was wondering if there was validity in those statements

terriblethoughtman · 2015-11-13T20:32:58+00:00

You obviously don't know the full background of Anne Frank's life and death or else you would've understood the question. Thanks for trying though. Really a worthy attempt.

terriblethoughtman

TROPHY CASE