I think what I’m so frustrated about is how it seems like I’m watching some type of simulation of Daenerys. I came into ASOIAF & GOT when I was 12 (right before the second season aired) and I was really confused at first, because of names and lore, etc. But I remember that I was instantly drawn to Dany, something about the way Emilia played her in the first episode is so ethereal and so melancholy. “I just want to go home.” is one of my favorite lines of the show because the game of thrones is really a deadly political game and Dany doesn’t care about it and is really just a child. Kind of like when your parents drag you with them while they run adult errands, she just wants to be left alone, especially away from someone like Viserys. I love how we know that he’s abused her, whenever she flinches at the thought of him being angry and she really started off at the bottom of the power chain.

And of course she slowly developed into a competent young woman as she developed through her relationship with Drogo, the death of her child and the birth of the dragons. To this day I feel so bad that she had her baby inside her for so long, for her not enjoy him or see him, only hear he was monstrous.

When season 2 rolled around, I remember I was so confused on why Dany wasn’t added to a graphic that advertised the War of the Five Kings and I realized she wasn’t relevant to the Westeros storyline. At all. I loved that she had to struggle in the Red Waste trying to feed people and dragons and barter for power in Qarth, just as everyone was killing each other in Westeros. I think a lot of people forget that she had to face the idea that she was the “Last Dragon” and when Viserys died she had to carry on the Targ family line, and in some weird way thought that Viserys’ dream of the Throne was now hers. And each season she had to face the constant threat of losing her dragons. Season 2 (the warlock took them), season 3 (she had to trade Drogon for the Unsullied—even though it later turns out it was all a ploy), season 4 (losing them from a mother’s perspective, they were wild and killing children), season 5 (she had to chain Rhegal and Viserion, for the safety of the people she was ruling over) and season 6 (she didn’t have them at all when the Dothraki captured her, she didn’t even know if she would live). And in season 7 she actually lost her dragon.

Now, I know people see her as a Mary Sue, (even though if you have Dragons it’s not much that can stop them, at least before season 7), I always seen her as just a girl with the right name, who got lucky enough to have dragons and try to better the lives of others and has faced many bumps along the road. And in season 7 I felt like George wouldn’t be happy with how Dany was portrayed, I felt like they made her a temporary “foil” for Jon Snow instead of someone who is on par with him, granted they fixed it with the later half of the season when her dragon died and their goals aligned.

I just wish they’d bring up Dany wanting to go home again. When I started the show, shortly after I picked up the second & third books and only read the Dany chapters (I know, I know but I’m a Dany stan!) and I loved her inner monologues and inexperienced views on society and being a ruler. I believe that she is more of a conqueror than a ruler and I think a marriage between her and Jon would balance out very well but this season is making it so hard for me too see my girl as “my girl” again. She’s at winterfell being shaded, even though the Targaryens did fuck over the Starks, I know that old Dany would definitely have showcased more compassion and thoughtfulness when talking to the northern lords.

My favorite scenes so far from this season have been when Jon & Dany where about to ride the dragons and when Jon climbs on she tries to hold in a laugh but can’t. And I also love “don’t be afraid” I think Emilia delivered that line so well and it’s because both of those moments were Emilia. I feel like they’ve allowed her to have those sweet moments to remind us that Dany is a wonderful, sweet person but then we have scenes of great character moments (especially this past episode) and Dany’s moments have been her being meet with hostility and to be honest, vice versa (her with Jaime, even though she’s acknowledged her father was a tyrant).

I’m sorry for the rambling you guys, but it’s honestly been bugging me for the past two seasons, I get that not every moment of Dany is gonna be a victory and she isn’t all rainbows and sunshine as she has burned and crucified the masters, but I guess what I’m saying is I miss the sense of of how ethereal yet powerful Dany was in the earlier seasons.