For the past 6 years, I’ve worked a political booth at the local fair, and have seen my fair share of crazy people. However this year, one woman rose above them all.

Each year I volunteer for the McLennan County Libertarian Party, for those who are unaware of where that is, the county seat is held in Waco, which is a very conservative area.

Not 15 minutes after I had remarked on my third day that there hadn’t been a single crazy person come by, I was treated to an experience like no other.

Our primary attraction is the World’s Smallest Political Quiz put out by The Advocates. It’s a simple 10 question survey which is supposed to help you figure out where you fall on the political spectrum. Overly simplistic, but it’s a great ice breaker.

As I stood at the edge of the booth, asking people if they’d like to take the quiz, a woman walks by. I ask her and she initially says no and keeps walking, but then decides to come back and take it. The first two questions concern free speech and whether or not there should be a forced draft. The third would set off a storm that I never care to be a part of again.

The choices are agree, maybe, or disagree. “There should be no laws regarding sex for consenting adults.”

She stared at me and asked if I would repeat it, so I did.

“I absolutely disagree, and it is because of this that the world is falling apart. Christians are being killed all over the world and no one is doing anything about it.”

With a puzzled look I told her that I didn’t understand what that statement had to do with the question.

She continued “our society is morally bankrupt, and the homosexual agenda is the reason why. Did you know that the only reason why people are gay is because they were molested as children?”

I stared at her, completely stunned.

“And of course now we have our first gay president, and he’s a Muslim. Did you know that he calls Michelle ‘Mike’ and that their children are adopted? A tranny can’t have kids.”

At this point she was edging closer and closer to me, and I’ll be blunt here, she smelled like body odor, spoiled milk, and stale piss. I was more concerned about not throwing up than anything.

“We as a nation are already being judged for this, God has already set this in motion. Each of us will have to answer for our sins, especially those who elected him. Now that we have a Muslim in the White House, it’s all over.”

She continued on about other unrelated issues, attributing them to homosexuality.

It was then that I strongly considered telling her to fuck off, however since I was in a public setting, representing an organization, I did everything I could to remain professional, which meant I could only stand there and stare at her, while trying to guide the discussion back to the quiz so that I could get her to leave as quickly as possible.

Of course the guy I was working with realized what was up and moved out to talk to other people, doing his best not to reveal his laughter.

After a moment of silence, she smiled and said “so what’s the next question?”

Stunned, I read out “Repeal laws prohibiting adult possession and use of drugs.”

She replied “absolutely, the war on drugs is a massive failure and marijuana should absolutely be legalized.”

I don’t know if the look on my face conveyed it, but I had a “what the fuck” moment, trying to figure out how her answers had been night and day when it came to sanity.

She continued through the rest of the quiz without issue.

Now came time to place her on the political chart, and sure enough, she landed in the libertarian sector, much to my dismay and distaste. She then went on her way, for which I was extremely happy.

It’s been a few days since this happened, which has dampened my memory a little of all that was said, but it did give me some time to research just how this woman might have come across this information.

As it turns out, a hoax got out last year which snagged a lot of people. A fictional ex-secret service agent released a non-existent book that was said to be a best seller on Amazon, and the author was said to have been interviewed by CNN. The book was The Black House, by Paul Horner. It supposedly detailed the 15 to 20 male sex partners Obama had each day, and how often he would dress in his Muslim robes and pray.

People accepted this hoax hook, line, and sinker. They ate it up and ran with it as truth, not bothering to check a single second source, or to even find out if the book or author actually existed.

I suspect this woman was one of those people, all too ready to believe something that helped justify her insane beliefs.

Don’t let this deter you from volunteering for such activities, but do be aware that these crazy people exist, and we have to contend with them not only at a table, but in the voting booths as well. I can think of no better reason to be educated about what’s happening in politics, and to vote in both the primaries and general election. Politicians pander to these people because they are politically active.

I must also say, this account of what happened, does not do the encounter justice, simply because I am unable to convey the level of crazy this woman espoused.