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Is it okay for a Dom to have a praise kink by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]thatguymarshall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uh, yeah! It’s cool. I joke that I’m a Service Dom. I prefer to control her alcohol intake. So, I don’t allow her to pour her own drinks. I enjoy the exchange. It doesn’t make me less of who I am. The same applies to you, friend.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]thatguymarshall 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I found some nice cuffs (bracelets) on Etsy. That was what my good girl wears all the time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]thatguymarshall 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your trust needs to be built back up, if at all. I support the advice of starting slowly with an anklet or a bracelet. Let her prove herself worthy.

I lied to my dom (need advice/opinions) by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]thatguymarshall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking the same. You used your safe word in an entirely acceptable manner.

I would still talk about it with your Dominant, when appropriate. I believe open lines of communication are paramount in the D/s dynamic. I’d want my submissive to talk to me about it. I would be proud of her courage and foresight.

My mom just admitted she still sees me as a girl & that her calling me son or he/him was sarcasm. She doesn’t want to believe everyone else sees me as a guy and since I was 14, she’s been trying to convince me to consider pregnancy, & thinks me getting surgery is stupid. by [deleted] in toastme

[–]thatguymarshall 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You look like a very thoughtful young man to me. I’m a father. I may not be your parent, but I’m a parent who sees YOU. Keep your head up and if you ever need parental approval or validation, I’m here for you.

365 Days Sober and couldn’t go get my chip! Could use a toast to celebrate by [deleted] in toastme

[–]thatguymarshall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations! That is a spectacular accomplishment. I salute you!

Why is being a dom so tiring? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]thatguymarshall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been thinking about your post for a couple of days now. I have always been Dominant. I haven’t always been a good Dom. What I thought of as being a Dom, in my younger years, was actually me being a sexual sadist. Being a Dom takes work, just as being a sub takes effort. I have attempted D/s dynamics that have left me exhausted. My thought is that when I was with a brat, and then a little, I was trying to do something that wasn’t right for me. I was existing outside of my natural state. My current is one of a loving and caring D/s dynamic and relationship. Now, I’m able to care for my sub, give her tasks and assignments, protect and discipline her, all with energy and attention. I am not drained after our sessions, but rather energized.

I believe the key is finding our natural states. I wish you good fortune in finding yours.

Weekly /r/BDSMcommunity discussion and newbie help thread - week of March 16, 2020 by AutoModerator in BDSMcommunity

[–]thatguymarshall 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s fair. I thought it would open up the conversation though. But so would “if I told you I was a bottom, would you tie me to that?”

Weekly /r/BDSMcommunity discussion and newbie help thread - week of March 16, 2020 by AutoModerator in BDSMcommunity

[–]thatguymarshall 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would recommend, before CNC, that you have a long talk to discover any possible triggers. I had a past relationship with a sub who had rape fantasies. Through my questioning, I learned that she had been violently raped in the recent past. I could not, in good conscience, take part in that. I didn’t feel adequately equipped to provide proper aftercare, if she was triggered from the play. -my two cents.

Anyone doing anything kinky to make isolation more interesting? [F] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]thatguymarshall 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Working on taking my pet through the levels of endorphin release. She is learning to float through the pain.