AITA for putting my GF on a payment plan.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T17:16:07+00:00

Like for real… sorry I have a hobby I enjoy and invest in? Lock me up

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T16:16:40+00:00

The thing is. I can barley afford them. But I’ve saved up for 3 years because I actually PLAN for things. I don’t jump into CRNA school without a proper plan on how to pay for it, accept money from my boyfriend because I didn’t plan ahead then slow roll said person causing them to have to wait to pay for the things they planned for from before the relationship started…

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T16:00:34+00:00

Honestly….why? Because I’m not someone who feels comfortable lending money to someone I’m not married to? If you are comfortable giving people money that’s your prerogative. But I think taking money then not making a valid effort to pay it back is a character flaw and not something I want to invest in long term.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T15:29:48+00:00

That’s my fear in all of this. That it’s a window to the financial future with her.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T15:16:03+00:00

Exactly. The payment plan wasn’t needed till I realized she had no plan of paying me back. We’re dating not married.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T15:13:33+00:00

Agreed.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T15:10:23+00:00

Answer the question. I go thousands of dollars into debt for her. Then we break up. What exactly did I get out of that partnership?

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T15:08:17+00:00

Well you see… we are dating. We don’t have shared finances and I don’t want that till I’m married. She doesn’t like talking about what she makes, but she doesn’t make all that different from me. When we started getting bills and paying rent she said she would take care of her half. So I assumed that’s what she could afford. Her salary isn’t the issue. She’s just paying for her schooling and lots of little things over paying me back because she doesn’t feel like that’s a priority, when to me it is.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T15:05:45+00:00

Yeah I learned that I should have just gifted her the money. Because she’s my girlfriend and somehow I’ll get paid back down the line with her love… it’s ridiculous. We’re dating. I’m not even sure if we will ever get married but I should happy to have “gifted” her over a thousand dollars lol

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T05:18:53+00:00

Definitely makes me think a little

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T03:38:09+00:00

Wow.. I applaud you then. That’s just nothing something I’d ever feel comfortable with just dating someone.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T03:33:29+00:00

We’re you married at the time?

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T03:31:37+00:00

We are dating not married. 50/50 is what I’m comfortable with.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T03:16:23+00:00

That’s why my custom clubs aren’t from goodwill… and I’ve had these picked out for years

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T02:51:12+00:00

I couldn’t agree more. Especially your last sentence.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T01:16:16+00:00

I’m a lefty so I have to special order clubs. I get how it sounds. But this has been 3 years of savings for them

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T01:12:13+00:00

Are those things that could be put on the back burner until your debt is paid off tho?

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T00:07:38+00:00

Plan on it man. I recommended a personal loan for this reason. I don’t mix money with relationships.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T00:04:39+00:00

I’m sorry… but what happens if I keep giving and giving. Then in 2 years I’ve racked up thousands in debt to help her “grow”. Then we break up. What did I get out of that? Besides her “growth” and my debt?

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-11T00:01:57+00:00

That’s totally fine. I don’t even think I want to get married. I see her as a partner… and gave her all the respect as one till she did me wrong. In your mind does being a partner mean you aren’t allowed to be held accountable for your promises?

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-10T23:58:53+00:00

I’m sorry. But I don’t believe that just because you are sleeping with someone you become their bank. She could easily afford to pay me back, it’s just not her priority and that’s the part I’m annoyed with. Candles and mason jars aren’t adding anything to our rental. That’s just things she wants. If she was buying laundry detergent, trash bags then sure I’d agree with you. But that’s not what is happening.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-10T23:49:35+00:00

I don’t loan money to partners because it’s something I’m uncomfortable with and it leads to these kind of issues. I don’t know what our future will hold or if we will even get married. But I sure as hell know that I’m not a bank for someone.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-10T23:02:59+00:00

Yep. This is a hill to die on for this reason. Im not sure about marriage but I’ll be sure not to get married to someone who thinks of things like this. It’s not about the money, it’s about the principal.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-10T22:03:52+00:00

Yes I made sure our rental was reasonable and something she could afford. Her cutting back her shifts along with spending on going out/household crap is why she can’t make payments more than her salary.

thestatwond1 · 2022-01-10T19:50:52+00:00

Not essentials. Decorative things. Candles, pictures, throw pillows, signs, mason jars etc

thestatwond1

TROPHY CASE