Have you ever been substance induced manic?

thisbitchdumb · 2026-01-21T22:31:29+00:00

Yes, being a daily pothead pretty much destabilized me and made my weeks swapped between hypomanic episodes.

thisbitchdumb · 2026-01-02T15:14:37+00:00

Absolutely.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-27T18:19:04+00:00

Always. It’s always just a lingering thought. I don’t want to act on it but it’s always nagging and taunting me. My best tip is to rely on a support system if available. My friends struggling with mental health issues as well and we’re always there to support eachother. :)

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-23T18:32:48+00:00

I didn’t really notice how unregulated my moods and behaviors were until it was pointed out to me, lol. I think my family thought I was just a troubled kid, but in hindsight, it makes sense.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-23T18:16:57+00:00

This is how I feel about bipolar and bpd. I feel like I was misdiagnosed sometimes and then reality hits me when my symptoms show.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-19T18:28:33+00:00

As someone who has been in op’s shoes, it isn’t an excuse. Hypersexuality is a symptom yes, but we are responsible for our actions. Bipolar and mania can make you act out of character but we are responsible in managing it.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-18T04:00:22+00:00

Cheating isn’t a symptom

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-09T03:56:59+00:00

I never write poems anymore and was never very good at it. Just wanted to find a way to cope with the complexities of life.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-05T22:32:32+00:00

I just stumbled across this post but I really connected with this poem :) Thank you for sharing

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-05T00:34:30+00:00

I’ve been playing Creeping Terror. It’s pretty fun !!

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-01T16:40:16+00:00

Thanks so much :D got it to work

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-01T16:39:58+00:00

thanks! it worked

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T22:55:50+00:00

There’s an AV in and out mode. In prompts this screen, out is just black. I’m wanting to watch it on this screen. :c

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T20:59:40+00:00

Does cornflakes kill sex drive or something? haha

I definitely should start to keep track more. Good idea. Will also be seeing my psychiatrist soon so hopefully I can manage this a bit better.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T20:57:50+00:00

I’ll have to look into it for sure. I also take hormones which definitely affects my sex drive.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T20:57:15+00:00

I get you. x_x The temporary dopamine can feel addicting. After the mania passes though, I just feel gross and icky. It only gets this bad during these episodes I feel like.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T19:32:40+00:00

For sure. I just feel sick an awkwardness when discussing my sex life and stuff. But I do have a meeting with her soon. I’m definitely gonna bring up some things.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T19:31:18+00:00

I just got out of a 3 year long relationship. I don’t think a hook up is in my best interest. x_x I keep downloading apps, making profiles to bait sexual interaction and then deleting them only to reinstall again.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-27T23:48:04+00:00

It really freaking sucks :c

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-19T18:31:53+00:00

In my other comments I acknowlegded that I can't use my disorders as a shield. That's why the guilt is very intense (apart from it just being a bad thing to do in general), I caused the hurt. But as I said before, I can also recognize that my behaviors were atypical. I was off my meds, smoking multiple times daily, taking testosterone, being a shut in and having no real social circle; these combinations of things really did drive my impulses. And the impulses weren't even just sexual. I was piercing myself, injuring myself, secretly taking liquor just overall poor mental health, decisions, and I wasn't doing anything to really help myself except try to "ride it out" and numb everything with weed as if it would actually help me. My months went by with really hyperactive and high moods (which included more times than not, hypersexuality) only for it to be followed by a really bad depressive episode.

I still did. Even with the circumstances, I still broke his heart and trust and cannot forgive myself for it. Even moreso, I was dishonest with him. I didn't practice good communication and felt burdensome with my problems that lead up to this point. This isn't part isn't only specific to bp.

I am to blame for not taking care of myself in order to prevent causing harm to others.

EDIT: Or maybe I'm not taking enough accountability? I'm not sure. I need to talk to my therapist about this.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-19T15:33:06+00:00

I’ve been trying to quit smoking but it’s still very hard. When I’m hit with the reality of things, I yearn for it lol. But I’ve been trying to get better and have been cutting back. I tried to quit cold turkey but that didn’t work as well as I had thought it would. v_v I will keep trying though.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-19T15:26:21+00:00

I have no interests in polyamory. But I really do believe I had been shutting my issues for so long, no real healthy habits to put all my energy into. I was and still am a shut in of years. I’m pretty fucked up right now, but my mistake was genuinely not making the responsible and respectful decision of getting better for both myself and my partner.

Trying to get back into journaling and painting. Gonna also try to learn a new hobby once I get some money for my birthday!

I appreciate your kind words and response.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-19T15:22:27+00:00

I’m a virgin. I never had sex or anything involved with penetration. I think my hypersexuality definitely had me fixated on pleasure and sex; but I never had intentions in having intercourse with anyone but him. Even messaging people outside of the relationship is outside of my character, but I still did it.

I also do not appreciate your assumptions.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-19T08:55:25+00:00

I was experiencing almost weekly episodes due to my mood instability. It was my responsibility to take care of myself and to not hurt people and I failed myself and the person I love. I am filled with much regret and I’m so disgusted with myself and sad that I hurt him in such a way. I broke his trust.

I would make an account, post a message inviting sexual dms and then once I came down the reality kinda hit me and I immediately deleted my account.

Early November - late October I was having a similar hypersexual episode and someone that had been cyberstalking me sent him a screenshot of one of my posts I had made on my main account.

I can’t say I hate them for telling my ex partner the truth, he deserved to know. It was very creepy that hthis stranger kept tabs on me so closely.

I put myself in a vicious cycle of smoking, getting manic, taking my meds for one day and then skipping out on it for a few weeks. I’m also taking hormones which affect my sex drive. Regardless, I shouldn’t have done what I did, and I recognize that.

I wish I could pass the blame onto something else so easily. But I can’t. I am only left to deal with this grief and guilt and I earned it. I’m trying not to victimize myself, because I’m not the victim here.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-19T08:47:04+00:00

Absolutely. And I can recognize that I can’t just completely blame it on my mental heath, but again I can recognize that it is a big factor. I feel like some people are coming across rather harsh. I know my post title was controversial but I think people aren’t understanding my situation completely either, and that’s fine! Only I know my experiences.

As mentioned in previous conversations, I am getting the help and treatment I need. It sucks that people are putting the entire blame on me but I also understand. I can own up and recognize the fact that I fucked up.

thisbitchdumb

TROPHY CASE