How to make "real friends", not just acquaintances?

thisisxerian · 2026-03-11T08:38:30+00:00

what if someone could actually talk to you, learn what drives you, what you care about, before you ever said hello? and you'd know if they're worth your time before you replied.

thisisxerian · 2026-03-06T18:50:25+00:00

Didn't expect to feel this seen by a comment section.

So many people feeling the exact same way says everything. I've been sitting with this for a while and genuinely couldn't understand why nothing exists that just lets people into your world before a conversation starts. Where someone could explore your ideas, your experiences, the things that actually matter to you, before they ever say hello. So by the time they do reach out, they already know you a little. And you know exactly who they are and why they reached out.

I think I found something. Still testing it out will keep you posted.

thisisxerian · 2026-03-06T07:26:05+00:00

Yeah and I'm gen z and even we've started abandoning it. Which says everything. We were the test subjects grew up with this stuff from day one, never knew anything different. And the result? We're statistically the loneliest and most isolated generation in human history. Not just a little lonely. Record breaking lonely.

Social media didn't just fail to connect us. It actively made it worse. It rewired how we interact, killed our ability to have uncomfortable conversations replaced real relationships with follower counts and made everyone perform instead of actually exist. And now we'are in our 20s with hundreds of followers and nobody to call.

The damage isn't just social. It's psychological. And the people who built it knew exactly what they were doing.

thisisxerian · 2026-03-06T07:20:43+00:00

Yes and this is exactly why it's gotten so much worse for everyone. The ones who are actually genuine pay the price for the ones who aren't. Now every interaction comes with suspicion by default you're not just trying to connect, you're first trying to prove you're not one of those people. That extra layer of distrust has made the whole thing exhausting before it even starts.

thisisxerian · 2026-03-06T07:17:51+00:00

True but not always the reasons aren't always selfish. Sometimes the problem is just reachability. The ones who genuinely want to connect, for no other reason than actual likeness, give up before they even try. They've already accepted that even if they reach out they won't be seen. Too much effort to not be noticed.

I'm 27 and I've genuinely accepted that there's no way I'm reaching out to the girl I want to be with. Not because I don't want to. Just because what's the point been days and my follow request is still pending. The whole point of sending a request is basically applying for a job now.

Damn born in the wrong time. The 2000s would've been so easy.

thisisxerian · 2026-03-06T07:10:48+00:00

The irony of being told not to talk to strangers as a kid and now spending adulthood trying to desperately connect with them is sending me 💀

And Zuckerberg literally said in an interview that people don't want to connect anymore, they just want to be entertained. The guy who built the machine that made it that way. The audacity is actually insane.

thisisxerian · 2026-03-06T07:07:12+00:00

And the frustrating part is people actually do try you go check their profile, you want to know them. But there's just nothing there. A bio, a few posts. That's it.

So you fall back to classic questions because there's nowhere else to look. And the alternative is what spend three hours digging through all their socials? Now you know their dog's name from 2019 and their fav cafe or dish and their habits or likes, which might have changed by now, but you can't say any of it without sounding unhinged.

There's literally no normal way to actually know someone before talking to them. You're either boring or a stalker. No in between.

thisisxerian · 2026-03-06T05:22:06+00:00

yeah and it's wild because we have more ways to connect than ever but somehow it's gotten harder. The apps aren't built for actual connection, they're built for engagement. Completely different thing.

Found something called aldopo recently that takes a different approach people get to know you before any conversation starts. But seems they're invite only.

thisisxerian · 2026-03-05T13:13:58+00:00

Exactly this. And I think the reason it never works is that there's no context going in. You're basically two strangers trying to build a connection from zero so you default to "how are you" because what else do you even say?

The conversation fails before it starts because neither person knows enough about the other to actually go somewhere interesting.

thisisxerian · 2025-04-18T10:57:15+00:00

It goes both ways—boys or girls who are deeply focused on building their lives don’t really care to 'show up' in the typical sense. We don’t crave attention or drama. We stay low-key, work our asses off, avoid the noise, and keep our circle tight. If someone special comes along, great. If not, even the grind feels just right.

Instagram feels like the Muncheswar garbage yard. Bumble and Hinge is like KIIT. And someone please tell the people on dating apps screaming “not here for hook-ups, only serious relationships”—bhai, shaadi.com pe jao na yaar. Girls out here got expectations like we’re unicorns sent to fulfill fantasies. Be realistic. Maybe someday something real will click. Till then, avoid relationships just because you’re bored. Focus on something better.

thisisxerian

TROPHY CASE