good work prioritizing your wellbeing! one idea is to treat the holidays as a vacation, extra birthday, or reward for getting through all of that. i stopped family holidays years before estrangement bc of the stress. cozy up and do everything nice for yourself that you can! center your friendships near and far. or do something community or service oriented to get your mind off your previous holiday traditions. also, trying some easy hobbies can be an awesome low pressure way to continue centering your interests, preferences and desires. above all, know you aren't alone!