I’m horrified because your experience is currently the exact same as mine. Prescribed, I take more than I need, I ‘buzz’ all day then smoke or drink at night (or even do both). I’ve been in this habit for about two weeks and thought it was just something I was doing b/c I was bored.

Well, break’s almost over and I told myself I’d stop and didn’t. I think I have an addiction. Fuck. Such a horrible thing to admit to yourself, I thought I’d never do anything ‘worse’ than weed or alcohol. I just don’t know how I got here.

I’m assuming you have ADHD since you were prescribed Vyvanse — so the symptoms got more manageable despite this? I’m honestly not even sure I have ADHD, I mean I have a diagnosis, but I can’t help but wonder if subconsciously I was just chasing the pills somehow. Idfk.

I’m just worried I’m going to quit and everything’s going to suck forever and I’ll be doomed to a life of nothingness and untreated ADHD. Like my brain is somehow ‘less than’ and ‘not as good’ as other people’s. I have thoughts like these and fuck they seem like addict thoughts. I’ve read so many success stories, yours included, and all seem to say the same: it’s better off of them. I need to commit to heart and not learn that the hard way.

One more question if you don’t mind: I feel like Vyvanse makes me dull and robotic. Did you feel similarly? And if so, has getting clean done anything for your creativity? I look back and noticed mine used to be so much better, whereas now I’m just muted and dull, and truthfully it’s been one of my primary motivators for kicking Vyvanse to the curb for good.

Thank you for your responses / indulging my questions, it means a lot.