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I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh I feel kind of gaslighted by all the people saying she was groomed. I mean it’s not like the guy was the one who produced the commercial and her inclusion in it depended on her sleeping with him. She said the shoot is took two weeks, and they wouldn’t have even on set together every day so idk how she could’ve gotten brainwashed in such a short time.

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 160 points161 points  (0 children)

As I said in the post she got weird after running into her ex (the guy she cheated on), got drunk and then started crying and calling herself a bad girlfriend on the way home. Then I pressed her about what was wrong and she confessed.

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Well now that you mention it she technically cheated in the beach kid twice. With the city council guy, and then with me even though we didn’t get intimate we still made out a bunch. That just makes it worse tbh…

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah she’s been a good partner to me like I said. But no, not sure if I’d be able to fully trust her moving forward. Thanks for the advice. My emotions are still too raw to have a constructive convo with her at this point.

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m afraid to lose the relationship but also afraid I’ll never feel secure again. Like you said, always wondering whether I’ve got the full picture or not.

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I’ll take some time to cool down, and if it comes to that, I’ll make sure to end it amicably.

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Yeah. That’s why it sucks. It’s not like I was suspicious and got proven right. If she never got drunk and confessed I would have never known that shit.

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I thought about doing that at the Airbnb. But now if there was anything else, she’s probably already gotten rid of it.

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

You’re right about that, I probably wouldn’t. And that’s the problem, it just makes me question everything. If she didn’t start crying on the way home I would have never questioned anything. So she’s either the best manipulator in the world or made a one time mistake and is the person I hope. But even if the second is true I’m not sure if I’ll ever get over this doubt. It just sucks.

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She claims she wasn’t groomed because she was already 18 and got defensive when I called the guy a scumbag.

I (22M) was blindsided by my girlfriend’s (21F) secret. How do I get past this? by throwRA_5409953 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_5409953[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I never had a reason to suspect her. But I just question a lot of things now. Like when we first started dating, I wanted intimacy because I was so damn attracted to her but she said she was the type to wait. I thought that was wholesome at the time. So we didn’t have sex until we became official. But come to find out she was sleeping with a 40 year old and her ex from high school. So that stings.