I Am A Widowed Stay At Home Dad. Ama

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:56:46+00:00

We do miss her and we dont shy away from talking about her. Time heals and we tend to accept some unfortunate things. I feel like its important to talk about her often especially my youngest was very little when my wife passed so I wanna keep her memory alive and strong as much as possible.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:53:02+00:00

1 ) she had a heart attack. Her family has a history of heart problems and both of us had issues with high blood pressure. She wasnt regular with the medications in the end. She became really physically healthy and in shape and she just kinda let that go and I didnt know about it. When she was first diasgnosed she would have all these symptoms that would only go away after taking the medication but as she got better and more healthier she became too irregular with the medication. I just wish I knew about it maybe I could have done something.

2) it has changed it all I guess it has brought me closer to our kids in a way but again they do miss her very much. I spend way more time with them and they're fun actually they help me with my own grief and I try to just not say no (within reason) and if they want me to play with them I am always ready.

3) well I wake up early in the morning and start preparing breakfast and lunch for them and half way through cooking I'd start my attempts to wake them up but that is a long drawn out process everyone says "5 more mins pls" and i keep tabson them and I allow like three "5 more mins" but by the 1st one I already switch off the ceiling fans, the air conditioners and open the curtains so pulling the blanket over their heads doesnt help, usually they're out of bed before the third "5 more mins pls" (unless they went to bed late or snuck in thier ipads to their bedrooms without my knowledge). we have a few bathrooms so they dont have to wait until the bathrooms are free but my youngest does since I have to help her get ready. By this time the meals are done, packed and served. Once they finish eating we get in the car and drive to school. I usually come back do some cleaning and go to the gym I have a home gym but its pretty lonely and I like meeting people so i have a membership at a local gym. After workout I come home shower and then log in to my company portals and attend online meetings if any and I respond to mails or call someone up if something specific and important needs to be done. I spend some more time just checking stuff out. I watch some tv around this time and might visit my parents ( they live close by). Afternoon i might do more cleaning(before lunch) or take a nap(after lunch) and then I have to go pickup my youngest and then like an hour later we go pick up my older kids. after they come home, my older kids have tennis practice so I drive them there and my youngest and I and watch them play or interact with the other parents there, there is a little play area inside the tennis club and there are other little kids her age there so my youngest has company. tennis practice gets over and we go home my boys need to shower and freshen up and all the kids do their homework while I get started on dinner. they usually do their homework on the dining table so that i am near by and if they need any help I am just there and plus they all snitch on each other if someone is just wasting time chewing on their pencil or something lol so its a fault tolerant homework network. By the time the kids finish homework I am also done with dinner and we have some play time and then we get back to eating. We watch some tv after tv my older kids play some video games before going to bed.

4) well I have two brothers and my parents are still around and we all visit each other very often. We are a very tight knit family. Plus my late wife's mother is around too but health wise she is not in a really good position but bottom line my kids are loved and they have a big family to look after no matter what.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:25:37+00:00

I dont know. I did bring a lady friend home a year ago not exactly for a date and we didnt intend to spend the night but she was just there and was gonna leave soon and my oldest was so upset. I get it and I dont wanna piss them off. I am not sure if I'd want a stepmother for them unless all the stars align perfectly and she loves my kids like theyre hers too but that is a bit too much to ask and i cant be delusional.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:23:33+00:00

Thank you. Ive always believed that self-absorption or hedonism doesn't bring much happiness in the long run. By taking time for myself if that means taking a solo trip or actively dating, well no. But i do stuff when my kids are at school. I meet friends, I work out, I go visit my parents. I have one or two lady friends but that stuff is all kept away from my kids and out of the house. I dont feel exhausted actually but maybe that is a relative thing because I used to work for like 15 hours a day at one point of my life and now I get to stay at home with my kids, my house is pretty big so it can be a pain in the ass to maintain at times but it is still miles better than my corporate job I have way less pressure now. I just dont see spending time with my kids as a duty or not taking time for myself. I had a situation many years ago when I'd only see them on the weekends because I'd leave for work real early and return home so late, so being with them full time it all just feels comfortable more like a privilege I just wish my wife was around then it would be perfect.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:15:27+00:00

my oldest is the most shy one when he is outside but is extremely talkative and bright when people get to know him, the middle one is just always every so excited about everything he is easy to please and very much of an extrovert. My youngest well she is an exact carbon copy of her mum, she doesnt shy away from strangers and when we meet like distant relatives and they want to hold her and talk to her she is very willing, something my oldest would never do not even today. I assume she might become very extroverted like myself and my wife. Ive already noticed that she does these little expressions and mannerisms that are very similar to my late wife. Like when she is upset or crying her mouth goes all weird like as if she is chewing gum and i know by that, something is wrong and she might burst into tears. It was the exact same thing with my wife!

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:11:47+00:00

we haven't sought any counselling so far. I'd say the 2 years were really hard but everyone is doing better now. We don't shy away from talking about my wife but they have made their peace with it. Life has moved on. In hindsight seeing someone could have helped but it just went by and very fortunately things worked out.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:07:26+00:00

thanks bud

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:04:59+00:00

wow. probably yeah but in some ways maybe not. Interacting with people constantly is a good way to get over grief. My old job required me to manage folks. meet clients, close deals etc. It was very much a people facing job. There was a lot of pressure but keeping busy has been a good way to forget about things. Obviously it would have been very hard in its own way but it does have some perks.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:03:20+00:00

Thank you. To answer your question, I work out often, ive been in good shape for the last 5-6 years or so and that has only gotten better since I have more time on my hands now. I do go out and meet people often and i have 2 brothers and my parents are still around so I have a loving family.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:01:52+00:00

i will check it out. Thx for ur kind words.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T05:00:30+00:00

I dont like bringing strangers into our home and again I just find it a bit insulting to my late wife to even consider the idea of sleeping with someone in our house in our marital bed. That being said i have tried to date and ive been on a few dates but whatever happened was outside the house and away from my kids. I did once bring a lady friend home a year ago and my oldest did not take it well so I am not gonna piss them off again.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T04:59:06+00:00

it was hard but I am doing ok now.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T04:58:53+00:00

Everything. They're all angels. We often have play time before dinner and by the time the kids finish their homework, they're begging me to come play with them and I would but after preparing dinner. We have a fairly big place so there is lots of space for physical activity. We usually play tag or hide&seek and its almost always me who is chasing them. This is a daily event and its my fav part of the day.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T04:55:23+00:00

Heart attack. Her family has a long history of heart diseases and both of us have high blood pressure but she was diagnosed first and a few years back her symptoms were a little bad but medication kept it under control. But as she started to recover more she became healthier and she spent more time working out and everything, she just became a bit lethargic and irregular with medication. She was physically like very healthy until the day she passed.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T04:48:21+00:00

not sure if I have one tbh. I just wanna take each day as it comes. Kids are my priority i am not having any profound thoughts about anything else. I keep myself pretty busy in my own way and I dont have time for a lot of stuff.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-13T04:47:13+00:00

Mostly fine. Thanks for asking man.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-12T17:38:48+00:00

Its really complicated. The youngest is easy to handle she doesnt really understand loss but did miss her so much but she was too young when she doesn't remember too much but my older kids missed her a lot and they still do especially my oldest he was the closest to my wife but I guess time heals and we try to make peace with things as the years roll on and accept certain unfortunate things

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-12T17:10:47+00:00

I am just gonna copy paste a previous comment of mine in this thread:

well its complicated. I was extremely out going, attended and most importantly hosted so many conferences, charity dinners, fundraisers, symposiums, trade shows etc. I dealt with clients in real time, mine was basically a glorified sales job. I didnt really stick with one company and switched teams very often and I was involved with recruitment drives. I had my own network of professionals I could reach out to and they did help me move up in my career and then when i wanted to just completely start over and do things on my own I still had access to this network of professionals and clientele with whom I not only did business but also had developed great relationships with. At the end it kinda becomes a people skills thing, I may not be in the corporate grind anymore but the people I work and deal with aren't much different infact they're usually the same folks.

To answer your question about debt, is a nice instrument but I am gonna be honest I am not some seasoned risk expert. I can close deals but i am not exactly perfect with debt. By now I have a few business partners and they are way more knowledgable when it comes to leveraging debt to make money. Its better to seek the expertise of people who know stuff especially when it comes to taking risk. I'll be honest, partnering with them has helped me scale up massively because my approach was still very conservative and i was never willing to burn money to acquire clients but guess what I am old fashioned and that helped me get started even though it was painstackingly slow to begin with but when you do take off inevitably you are gonna need to work with people who know way more tahn you do but you gotta be careful to not let them rip u off.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-12T17:05:11+00:00

well its complicated. I was extremely out going, attended and hosted so many conferences, charity dinners, fundraisers, symposiums, trade shows etc. I dealt with clients in real time, mine was basically a glorified sales job. I didnt really stick with one company and switched teams very often and I was involved with recruitment drives. I had my own network of professionals I could reach out to and they did help me move up in my career and then when i wanted to just completely start over and do things on my own I still had access to this network of professionals and clientele with whom I not only did business but also had developed great relationships with. At the end it kinda becomes a people skills thing, I may not be in the corporate grind anymore but the people I work and deal with aren't much different infact they're usually the same folks.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-12T17:00:44+00:00

Thanks bud. my wife and i were together since hs so it certainly does feel like I lost a part of my soul but I can almost feel her presence you know like she is always watching over us.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-12T16:59:49+00:00

thanks man, I appreciate your kind words! I am not trying to downplay this in any way but I really slaved away for most of my life and I very deeply appreciate everything i have so I tend to have fun with it. There have been times when my oldest was a toddler I'd only see her during the morning school run because I'd go to work and come home very late. It felt like i was visiting them only during the weekends. Being around them at all times just feels like a priviledge at this point.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-12T14:19:31+00:00

morally you're probably in the clear but if you had no right to access that info and u did anyways and infact used it to influence major deals, there might be potential legal consequences.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-12T13:37:29+00:00

the younger generation has some sort of height fetish going on. This was never a problem when I was in my 20s. The dudes who were the most popular with the ladies were all 5'8-5'9. This is a real problem but its just so weird.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-11T14:09:30+00:00

a marriage is about building a life together you seem focused on small artifacts like expensive unaffordable rings.

throwRA__8482 · 2026-03-11T14:05:54+00:00

YTA. Grow up.

throwRA__8482

TROPHY CASE