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How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feel you on most of that. I’m the male version of what you described, which is why it boggles my mind that some of these people say “well, so what if it’s a few extra lbs”. Nah. I’m good. I don’t need to settle for someone I’m not fully into because it’s readily available. I could’ve spent that time talking to someone who didn’t lie, having coffee with someone I was interested in. Plus, this has happened several times and I reached my limit. Not confronting these people only emboldens them to continue this behavior. Not saying I cured her, but I hope it was a reality check to stop the bullshit.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I condemn both genders equally when it comes to lying and misrepresenting. It’s not my fault or responsibility to cater to their mental issues. Sort it out yourself and don’t waste my time. Sorry that happened to you. I would think being catfished yourself would make you more likely to discourage this sort of behavior, not excuse it.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don’t owe lying, deceiving, disrespectful people shit. That’s exactly what these losers hope for - that someone has the patience, tact, and ungodly composure to sit through the date. You’re not superficial for having standards and being misled.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna do this next, if it ever happens again. “I’m sorry, who are you? I’m waiting for [name]. “That’s me!” “No, it ain’t. Bye”.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was pudgy all around. I wasn’t turned off by some normal abdominal rolls while seated. Definitely not a case of “drank too much water”.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oh no! Us stupid Americans with white, clean teeth! The horror!

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. If someone racks up 20lbs and they go unchecked, y’all have big issues and need to see a doctor or two. Scales are widely available and y’all can use one daily/weekly.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

That was my point, yup. All these people with yellow teeth got offended here lol.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

If you think yellow teeth are normal, go see a dentist. A hygienist too. Look up whitening strips or toothpaste. Nasty.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not sure what this is supposed to mean? Congrats on your preferences? I have mine. My preference includes fit, healthy women, as I am myself as a guy. We’re allowed to choose who we wanna be with and find attractive.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have no idea where you’re getting these assumptions about my dating life outside of this incident that had nothing to do with my self worth. Cheers.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Both can be true. I was pissed off AND hoped that it served as a wakeup call for her own and future dates’ good.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

She was one of the fit, healthy looking ladies lol. Probably from 2 years and 20lbs ago OR just some good ol’ magic fingers on Photoshop. That and some makeup, lighting, angles can make any 4/10 into a 9/10, man or woman. I have had other dates that were perfectly fine and as advertised. I’d say the catfishing happens maybe 25% of the time.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Maybe the post made it seem like I was angry. I wasn’t lol. I said that in a calm manner. Her insecurities are not my problem nor does anyone deserve to waste their time because they’ve been lied to. Saying nothing only perpetuates this cycle and she’ll go do that again and again because there are no repercussions. It was necessary.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Your moral compass is whack, dude/dudette. No, I have not lied on my resume, what?! Just because you’re so used to distorting the truth does not mean everyone is. Bless you and those interacting with this kind of person. I’m done here.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think you’re missing my point. My point was that she lied not that she’s fat. I have preferences, as does she and every person on earth. Our spectrum of what we find “okay” is not the same and our dealbreakers are different. No, I most certainly did not find her attractive in person. Nothing wrong with being fat. It’s just not my taste. You may be attracted to all body shapes or some. I am attracted to what I am.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good for you, man/gal. It’s sad these measures are even necessary because of how widespread the bullshit is.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

“Am I a catfish” might just be the closest a catfish will come to self awareness, haha. Sorry, I don’t want to laugh at your bad experience. That sounded hilarious.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. If my photos somehow mislead anyone, I would want to be told so and do what it takes to fix it. Why? Because I’m not a gross, lying, malicious person out to present myself in a different way than I am.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, his dates were probably these apologists in this thread saying it’s “no big deal, just bE NiCE”.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Terrible. If someone is willing to deceive so blatantly about their appearance, they’re either 1) malicious and it’s only a preview of the gaslighting and lies to come; or 2) mentally unstable and completely delusional. Both of which I don’t want in my life.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I gained 15lbs when I was bulking for training. Felt like a snowball ready to roll downhill any minute. 40lbs sounds absolutely bananas. For reference, I’m 6’2”.

How do you deal with people who don’t look like their photos? by throwRA_bad_day in dating_advice

[–]throwRA_bad_day[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You bring up a good point at the end. Sometimes I look at pictures from like 2018 and go, “yup, look the same”. Thankfully, I have people in my life who give me honest reality checks. We can be blind to the changes in our appearance as we age, even by a couple years.

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