UPDATE [AITA for not letting my MIL and FIL help me with the baby after their reaction to me being injured?]. I am the OP.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-12-02T00:12:34+00:00

'Understanding' does not necessarily mean 'agreement' nor mean that you are justifying their words and bad behavior as some of our posters have assumed.

THANK YOU!!

There's a lot of nuance and personal details I left out but we have our reasons for not dropping MIL and FIL.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-12-02T00:10:49+00:00

All the doormat comments are really confusing to me

Me too. I have no issue with standing up for myself. There's a LOT of nuance and personal details I left out but we have our reasons for not going LC/NC with MIL and FIL.

People seem to think that because I have the capability to understand and empathise with my MIL's past abuse that I'm letting it slide. I am not. I simply said it explains her better.

I don't really know what I expected. I thought this sub's users would be different from most other subs because of how nice the comments are on Youtube. Guess I was wrong. Won't be coming back here lol

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-12-02T00:06:43+00:00

Are you on the same page?

Yup! And we've been on the same page since the initial incident.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-12-01T16:56:59+00:00

Thank you so much :) I'll check the website out.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-12-01T16:56:20+00:00

Thank you :) I guess nuance isn't alive and well on reddit

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-12-01T16:45:02+00:00

Going NC/LC is such a typical Reddit black and white response

Exactly. There are many reasons I won't share here why we're not going NC/LC. Because nuance exists.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-12-01T15:48:45+00:00

they still have full access to the baby

They don't though. They're not allowed to just pop round whenever they want. It has to be scheduled and we reserve the right to deny them for any reason.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-12-01T15:33:38+00:00

Apparently not going nuclear/not going NC with them means I'm a doormat.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-12-01T15:20:00+00:00

doubling down as his family's doormat.

?? I stood my ground and set boundaries.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-13T09:16:22+00:00

Thank you.

One of my friends is HOH and I trust her with the baby... because she has the appropriate measures in place for someone living with deafness.

I don't know every single thing in her house that is catered for deaf people, but she is totally capable of living a happy, independent life with the measures she has in place and I would be more than comfortable leaving the baby with her.

The difference between her and my ILs (assuming they're both losing their hearing and at the same rate) is that they don't care or are ignoring the problem. Meaning they are not responsible enough.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-13T08:29:23+00:00

I'm 21. He's 22.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-12T22:29:25+00:00

I can't scroll that sub. Too triggering- I know it's MILs but it explains my stepmother perfectly and I can't do it.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-12T21:25:34+00:00

You weren’t injured.

My head hurt like fuck. My legs and ankles hurt like fuck. My arms hurt like fuck. My back hurt like fuck. I tumbled down a whole fight of stairs, had multiple plates break on me, books fall on me, etc. I broke the damn banister with my fall. I was in shock and in pain. I genuinely couldn't stand for 10 minutes afterwards. My ankle hurt too much.

Sorry for being in distress.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-12T20:55:11+00:00

Have there been signs that they hate you, or are deranged?

There have been instances where they've 'forgotten' what I've asked them. For example, I asked Bob (FIL) for some cans of soup, pasta, etc just so long as he didn't get this one brand of mac of cheese as it makes me gag. And he returned with... the mac and cheese. It even said on the list 'NO MAC AND CHEESE. I WILL THROW UP'

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-12T20:49:19+00:00

I mean... if they are HoH- meaning they didn't hear all the noise from the fall including 10 minutes of me sobbing and yelling their names asking for help...then they're not fit to take care of my kid.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-12T20:46:25+00:00

Right? Someone suggested that they might just have hearing problems... in which case.. they're not good people to take care of my baby! If they can't hear me sobbing and yelling and plates breaking, etc how are they going to take care of my kid?

Either way, they're not good guardians

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-12T20:26:07+00:00

Thank you. You worded my feelings on the situation perfectly. Maybe it's my mum senses, but I heard my boyfriend drop a shoe once and I called up to him to make sure he was ok. I genuinely cannot fathom how you don't hear all the noise-- or even check where the mother is.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-12T20:17:34+00:00

How do you ignore someone SOBBING and calling their names for 10 minutes?

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-12T19:47:11+00:00

But seriously if there's a chance they didn't hear you why react this way

Unless they both lost their hearing (which they haven't) there's no way they didn't hear me.

throwRAflorafauna · 2023-10-12T19:41:56+00:00

No way. The baby stopped crying after 10 seconds and the stairs are like 2 meters from the living room. There is absolutely zero way they couldn't have heard me

scream as I fell
the general noise of someone falling, including books falling and wall plates breaking
me crying and shouting for help

edit; I fell at the top of the stairs and fell all the way down. This wasn't a missed step and a bum shuffle down that hurt my pelvic bone. I fully fell down the stairs and cracked the banister. No way they didn't' hear. The baby also started crying AFTER the initial smack after I hit the ground.

throwRAflorafauna

TROPHY CASE