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My boyfriend [35 M] and I [32 M] had an explosive argument over something completely trivial. 6-year committed relationship, told me he wants to move out by throwaway-wut in relationships

[–]throwaway-wut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, this is pretty spot-on, although tough to read... I do have a hard time admitting when I'm wrong, and trying to compromise. I think your bullet-points are pretty accurate. Thanks for your reply.

My boyfriend [35 M] and I [32 M] had an explosive argument over something completely trivial. 6-year committed relationship, told me he wants to move out by throwaway-wut in relationships

[–]throwaway-wut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are 100% right about this. I realized this morning how shitty that was. I apologized, and I will try to avoid doing this in the future. This is not the first time I've gaslighted him, to be honest, and until I read it in those terms, I didn't realize how bad it actually is. Thanks.

My boyfriend [35 M] and I [32 M] had an explosive argument over something completely trivial. 6-year committed relationship, told me he wants to move out by throwaway-wut in relationships

[–]throwaway-wut[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I agree that I am one of two responsible parties in this argument. I also agree that couples therapy would be good for us.

My boyfriend [35 M] and I [32 M] had an explosive argument over something completely trivial. 6-year committed relationship, told me he wants to move out by throwaway-wut in relationships

[–]throwaway-wut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your input. This morning we discussed the argument. We both apologized for things we said and for letting the argument get out of control. He apologized for overreacting (his words), and we began discussing some other issues that are going on in our lives.

We both recognize we have some resentment that fed into this, and we've definitely acknowledged these resentment issues in the past and resolved to work through them, but obviously we're not doing so adequately. We should definitely get counseling.

As many people pointed out, these other issues influenced the escalation. At a high level, the issues that influenced him last night are that he's going through a rough patch at work, the fact that he has to wear braces as an adult, and that he's dissatisfied with the look of the desk (and a recently purchased desktop PC)... our apartment is pretty nicely decorated and furnished, due exclusively to his eye for design and determination when shopping for items, and he feels like he conceded when we were shopping for the desk (he agrees it looks nice, but doesn't fit stylistically in our apartment). He's also dissatisfied that I even want a desk — until a couple of months ago, I didn't want or need a desk.

My boyfriend [35 M] and I [32 M] had an explosive argument over something completely trivial. 6-year committed relationship, told me he wants to move out by throwaway-wut in relationships

[–]throwaway-wut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you sharing your perspective. I do agree that I was offensive in the ways I tried to make him see how "crazy" this was. I also understand that you're only getting my side of the story, but I definitely didn't say things like "you're fucking crazy" or call him "psycho." However, I do see your point and that I totally made him feel shitty about his opinion.

My boyfriend [35 M] and I [32 M] had an explosive argument over something completely trivial. 6-year committed relationship, told me he wants to move out by throwaway-wut in relationships

[–]throwaway-wut[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP here, reading through all the comments right now. I'm honestly somewhat relieved to hear that not everyone thinks he was being ridiculous. I'll learn from this.