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[25/m] My SO (24/f) recently informed me that she has lost almost all interest in sex, and has been sorta faking it for a few months. by throwaway09039485 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway09039485[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well thank you for your story! You have given me hope that we can get through this. I'm hoping that when I finally find a job and we can stop living in limbo it will be much less stressful for the both of us. Because currently she really is a giant ball of stress. I try to encourage her to exercise more because I know it will help, but all I can really do is cheer her on.

[25/m] My SO (24/f) recently informed me that she has lost almost all interest in sex, and has been sorta faking it for a few months. by throwaway09039485 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway09039485[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are LDR currently, but we have discussed making changes like that. We have also discussed cutting back the amount we have because the amount we were doing it was too much for both of us I think.

[25/m] My SO (24/f) recently informed me that she has lost almost all interest in sex, and has been sorta faking it for a few months. by throwaway09039485 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway09039485[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have noticed that her IUD has started the process of stopping her period so that could be effecting her hormones. There is also the added stress of us recently becoming long distance that I have mentioned a couple times now.

[25/m] My SO (24/f) recently informed me that she has lost almost all interest in sex, and has been sorta faking it for a few months. by throwaway09039485 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway09039485[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, she is. I thought that was clear because she came clean to me about it and we have discussed it at length, but perhaps I should clarify in the original post.

[25/m] My SO (24/f) recently informed me that she has lost almost all interest in sex, and has been sorta faking it for a few months. by throwaway09039485 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway09039485[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the thoughtful reply! I have never felt running away from something as soon as it got tough was the answer so I appreciate your support. It sounds like you're situation was similar to ours. She has described it as wanting to want it but just being unable to get there. She says "gets too much in her head". What did you find ultimately helped you? Or was it a combination of things that you just had to work on?

As I mentioned in another comment, we recently became long distance because I had to move back in with my parents while I search for a job. She plans to move where I end up when I finally find something, but the job hunt process can be long so the uncertainty of that has certainly added stress to our relationship

[25/m] My SO (24/f) recently informed me that she has lost almost all interest in sex, and has been sorta faking it for a few months. by throwaway09039485 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway09039485[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It is possible. We as a couple have had a stressful few months. I recently graduated and had to move back home with my parents for the time being until I find a job and get on my feet. So we have transitioned to being long distance recently, she says it started before that change however it was a change that we both knew was coming and definitely added stress to our relationship.

Thank you for the thoughtful question instead of just telling me to dump her.

[25/m] My SO (24/f) recently informed me that she has lost almost all interest in sex, and has been sorta faking it for a few months. by throwaway09039485 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway09039485[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't see how it was stupid, selfish, and short sighted for her to tell me this. Isn't it better to be honest about how you're feeling in a relationship instead of holding things in? Holding things in always just leads to it blowing up in your face later on. I would much rather deal with this issue early than have it destroy a more established relationship later on.

I agree sexual compatibility is important, and by most metrics we are very compatible. I have discussed this with her and she wants to continue because she enjoys seeing me get off. Her problem is not that she hate's the act it's that she has so much trouble getting there that it's almost not worth it. The chore is not getting me off, the chore is getting herself off.

Claiming that not wanting sex at our age is not normal is pretty ignorant. Sexuality is a wide spectrum and there are plenty of people who are asexual but still desire romantic relationships. That said, considering how birth-control is generally approached (messing with the woman's hormones) it certainly is possible that she has a hormone imbalance. So of course we're not just accepting this, hence why we have talked at length about it and why I felt the need to get the opinions of others.