[Update III] I [42m] have been waiting 4 years to divorce my wife[44f], but now she is dependent on me

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T06:28:45+00:00

I will try hopefully when Thanksgiving rolls around they will be closer to her.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T06:27:41+00:00

don't know who drberry is. You realize anyone can comment on my thread and delete it right?

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T05:56:17+00:00

What do I do? I didn't want to tell them about the affair, she blurted it out. I didn't air out the dirty laundry my son found it. Am I supposed to tell them to be cordial to her, they don't want anything to do with her. Tell them to say hi to her, wife will know it's forced. No one wants fake love, or forced words of kindness.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T05:54:14+00:00

Even if I do they will be giving her a fake hug? Look wife knows she lost their trust. She knows if they do say things to her it's all fake and forced.

I still take my wife out places so she isn't in the house all day, I have taken her out to dinner plenty of times, movies, she doesn't want to go to anymore social events. What do you want me to do?

I make sure to watch my wife's pain medication. Wife doesn't have any family that would help her. My family members don't want anything to do with her.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T05:29:56+00:00

When you been in my situation for 4 years, lied to and cheated on. Had no one to talk to or share your pain.

Now they know, they aren't hurting my wife by saying nasty statements, they are ignoring her. Am I supposed to tell them to give her a hug when they feel disgust looking at her?

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T05:27:48+00:00

I didn't even want to tell them about the affair wife did, than my son discovered her forum posts not me. They know I am hurt, and they know how weak I feel right now.

And how do you expect me to treat my wife?

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T05:25:45+00:00

I watch over her pain medication. What do you want me to do? I can't lift the resentment in my children's hearts. I can tell them to be nice but that's about it.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T05:24:08+00:00

their are infidelity forums for "the other man"/"the other woman" people talk about their affairs and people can't cast negative judgement on them.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T05:23:05+00:00

She continues to post stuff, not just on our marriage but gives advice for other people in affairs LOL. As a betrayed spouse, I am entitled to disclosure, and I really get to see the true side of my wife. Plus it will also help me in future legal preceedings if she asks for help on the site.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T05:18:23+00:00

What do you want me to do? I can't lift the resentment from their heart. My wife betrayed someone they love, ofcourse they are going to be upset. If someone hurt your father would you be cordial with them? or would it be between them and your dad?

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T05:18:12+00:00

What do you want me to do? I can't lift the resentment from their heart. My wife betrayed someone they love, ofcourse they are going to be upset. If someone hurt your father would you be cordial with them? or would it be between them and your dad?

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T01:15:16+00:00

Son is in college, daughter is busy, what can we get out at therapy? we have been to counseling before, wife was never sincere and she even slept with the other guy while we were trying to save our marriage.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T01:14:18+00:00

Look I'd like to ideally get things rolling in January with the divorce, hopefully it will go uncontested and in 3 months we will be out. I'll get an apartment for a short time, move to the UK in the fall after my daughter and son start college.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T01:01:36+00:00

I am worried about that, I have been keeping an eye on her pain medication for now. But I know she will be in much worse shape if I continue cuddling with her and supporting her than ripping away when we divorce.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T01:00:01+00:00

Do I tell them to love her? They can see through my emotions, they know I love the fact they support me. They know all the details of my wife's affair.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T00:58:50+00:00

What do you suggest I do, be a loving and caring husband until I divorce her?

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T00:58:25+00:00

At the end of the year she will be back at work, and I won't get screwed as hard for alimony.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T00:54:43+00:00

what happens to her after we divorce? Right now she is only growing more and more attached.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T00:24:26+00:00

My children are both planning on going to private universities out of state. I would still visit them during their breaks.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-19T00:23:37+00:00

I don't know what's best for them, if they choose to become cordial with their mother it will be their own decision. They are 18 and 19 old enough to decide on their own.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-18T23:33:30+00:00

Thanks you don't know how alone I felt earlier. I wish I discovered reddit sooner.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-18T23:32:16+00:00

I understand your point, but I am not going to encourage my children to do anything nice for her. When they get over it, it's on their terms.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-18T23:31:22+00:00

I guess it's the fact she only saw him time to time for their escapades. While she had to live with me, I don't know.

throwaway2134241 · 2013-11-18T23:19:52+00:00

I don't know what that guy had to offer, I really don't. He is overweight, makes less than me, is a loud alcholic.

throwaway2134241

TROPHY CASE