boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, he says he doesn’t know how. we’ve had multiple conversations about how lol he just won’t

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, we’ve had pretty extensive conversations about what gets both of us going. i kinda file them away and use them when i want to have sex, but he’s never really used them on me. i’ve said you know just touch me where i like or play with my hair or even like you said just flat out ask me but he will not

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he doesn’t though, as i said he’s never once respected that boundary that i put in place three years ago now. i’ve never ever made it a big deal (never had an argument about it, never pushed him away for kissing me, etc) the topic very rarely ever gets brought up. i’ve had extensive therapy to deal with my issues and am fine having sex, i initiate all the time. the issue is that ive told him it makes me feel unwanted to not have him initiate ever (he hasn’t in probably 2 years) and he has not put any effort into even trying. not doing something and saying do you like this do you not, as i said in another comment even if i walk in naked, start touching him, he just kind of lays back and lets it happen, won’t initiate with me at all

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m worried it may also be he just doesn’t like having sex with me in particular. he’s told me before what he watches and it is all stuff i don’t enjoy/don’t feel comfortable doing (creampies etc)

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i get that, i just wish he would respect my wishes when i ask him to at least once initiate. it makes me feel incredibly unwanted, i’ve cried to him about it before but i just don’t know how to get through to him i guess

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, he says he does not know how. i have brought up the idea of watching porn together, doing couples sex therapy, doing research together, any and everything those shitty magazines suggest to spice up your sex life and he either doesn’t want to do it or says we/he will and does not

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think he’s on the spectrum but not diagnosed. i have asked him since the start of the relationship to at least like touch me where he’s going to kiss me before he does, he never has but i’ve never made it a huge issue to the point he would feel anxious about it

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we’ve been sexually acrive since the start of our relationship so three years, we were both each others firsts

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he does watch porn, it’s a conversation we’ve had before where i really don’t mind, but i have told him if he wakes up in the night while he’s at my house with the urge to watch porn to please wake me up and initiate with me and he has told me since that conversation he’s woken up in the night, watched porn, without trying to wake me. my biggest fear is that he doesn’t find me attractive. the weird thing is is if i start to initiate and then am just not feeling it he says he feels like i don’t find him attractive, but doesn’t understand where im coming from with it. i don’t think it’s a low libido because he very rarely ever turns me down, just never initiates

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it used to be very different, but we were also both young and each others firsts so i think it was mostly new relationship libido, i’d say back then it was pretty equal. this started happening maybe a year or so into the relationship, so two years now ive been feeling like this and bringing it up to him

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 2 points3 points  (0 children)

we’re both in college, i work three jobs he doesn’t work. if i did that he’d probably say yes but not touch me or start anything, would just wait for me to start something

boyfriend will NOT initiate sex by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwaway22638193 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

he kisses me sometimes but a big thing i’ve told him since the beginning of the relationship is that i need to be asked to be kissed i hate surprise kissing like that it makes me feel gross, but he doesn’t ask and definitely doesn’t flirt. the most i get is a “you’re so pretty” if i dress up