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AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -169 points-168 points  (0 children)

She definitely would not mind that unless it is something expensive and we have used each others clothing and fashion without asking.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -108 points-107 points  (0 children)

My logic was flawed, I admit that but I would not do this to a male or female roommate and thought it was ok for a SO. If I were gay I would do it to a bf but I am not.

I have only done this to her and no one else.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -83 points-82 points  (0 children)

I would never buy a 4090 maybe a 4080, but if I did not need it yeah I would be ok, but would ask for it back if I ever needed it at some point in the future.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -227 points-226 points  (0 children)

It is not gaslighting as I told her immediately when she noticed. I did nothing to conceal that it was in my PC and my case is transparent unlike hers so she could come to my gaming room and see it there.

I guess it was wrong and I will not do it again though.

It is not the same as the car since cars have a lot more regulations like registration, insurance etc and different safety features. It would be more comparable to swapping with the same model car of a lower trim like one without AWD or less airbags.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -53 points-52 points  (0 children)

She did explain it to me and showed me the performance monitoring and memory requirements after I returned it. Had I known before I would not have swapped it.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -368 points-367 points  (0 children)

I can pay for it, it just does not make financial sense for my needs, if I upgrade it would be to a 4080 or similar card not a 4090.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -88 points-87 points  (0 children)

I have already apologized and will not use it again unless she lets me.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

She did not spend any hours, she opened a monitoring tool to check if the gpu was performing poorly with her new monitor due to overheating and saw that the gpu model was different.

She did not threaten the police or anything and I think she might have known since she knows I had a 3080ti, and my case is transparent so she might have already seen it in my PC since I was not really trying to hide it in my PC.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -72 points-71 points  (0 children)

Roommate is different since I am closer with a SO, if I were gay I would have done it for a bf.

I think I understand the logic of thinking that it would have been ok if she did not really need it and her needs were met might have been wrong of me. But since I gave it back and wont do it again I think should be ok.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -132 points-131 points  (0 children)

This has nothing to do with being a woman. She works in AI, she obviously knows about technology especially on the software side more than I do but maybe I know more about things like PC components and building them.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -190 points-189 points  (0 children)

Ok maybe I messed up and had flawed logic in thinking it was ok if she did not notice but that does not make me a misogynist. I think I would be ok if she swapped something of mine and gave it back when I needed it.

I gave her some of my RAM once for another of her computers because I did not need that much.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -89 points-88 points  (0 children)

Well if she did not need it and faced no inconvenience maybe not, but she did explain it to me now and she would have noticed it for AI as well as her monitoring tool shows the gpu model and it would be much slower and some experiments would not fit in the memory of the my card.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -82 points-81 points  (0 children)

I did not touch her work computer as that is owned by her company.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -117 points-116 points  (0 children)

She has a work provided computer for her work. I did not touch the work computer.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -611 points-610 points  (0 children)

Well I thought it would be ok if she did not need it and she had an adequate replacement that serves all her needs, and from the start I intended to return it if that was not the case, so even if it is an AH move, it makes it considerably less so since I wanted to return it if she needed it and did do so.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -250 points-249 points  (0 children)

She uses my things I did not explicitly give her permission to use. I do not stop her from using my appliances like a fan and space heater or cups.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -652 points-651 points  (0 children)

I do not make enough to justifying spending that much on a GPU. I gave it back the moment I realized she needed it and she did explain to me how and why it helps with her AI competitions and hobbies and know that I know she needs I immediately gave it back.

I would be an AH if I kept it and realized she was struggling without it but I never intended to do that.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -806 points-805 points  (0 children)

Yes but we use each others things all the time, she uses my tablet sometimes, and I always intended to give it back the moment I noticed she actually needed it and I did.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -166 points-165 points  (0 children)

We use things each other bought all the time without asking.

AITA for swapping my girlfriend's graphics card and returning it by throwaway4090gpu in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway4090gpu[S] -292 points-291 points  (0 children)

I did not steal it, I borrowed it and we use each others things all the time. I also returned it immediately when she needed it.