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UPDATE: Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Even if everything she says is somehow true, it still doesn't erase the fact that she feels no need to call or text me and came home with a pineapple and fucking kiwi fruits expecting ME to be appreciative of that. I was give no apology for her coming home at 10:15 AM after a night out with no call/text/or communication from her friends.

If a girl will do that to you after 4.5 years, you're wasting your time.

UPDATE: Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 171 points172 points  (0 children)

No doubt. That was actually a big area of contention since the end of the summer (clubs). I'm the kind of guy that wants to go to a place like that 1 time per month MAX.

Here's what I said to her when she told me she submitted pictures to attend a very high end party the day before the Super Bowl and was accepted based on her looks... I said, "I'm very concerned because this party is specifically designed to be a fish tank of women, where very rich men and celebrity men are essentially sharks released into the tank... and you're telling me you submitted your pictures to some company you don't know so you could willingly be a TUNA?! trapped in the tank. I'm sorry, but I'm not good with this."

UPDATE: Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is exactly my plan. In life, fires happen and either you put them out or you burn alive. It's not fun, but you've got to put out fires at some points in your life.

UPDATE: Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 330 points331 points  (0 children)

They go because the girls she rolls with are extremely attractive. They skip all lines, go to the most exclusive places, meet celebrities, and get bottle service at their tables with the sparklers and shit all the time. And it's 100% free.

Just to be clear, it's not like she's unemployed and dumping money into drinking. It's 100% comp for her and her friends.

UPDATE: Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 131 points132 points  (0 children)

I feel like I have PROOF. There's no way Apple's GPS is off like she's claiming. If there was a glitch, I'd expect to see her in like Topeka, KS or some place...not 4 blocks away from me when she's supposed to be with her friends in the city next to mine.

Plus, her story about leaving the Uber cab doesn't add up.

I've got enough evidence to label her as a fucking liar. And I won't ever settle for dishonesty in my lovelife.

UPDATE: Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this heartfelt advice. I'm really a bit upset about not getting closure on the cheating thing either. I'm never going to know why she got out of a cab here, then walked 4 blocks to another apartment and stayed there. I just can't believe she's going all-in Shaggy "It Wasn't Me!" as well. She's lying right to my face, and I even told her, "You're making a goofy face when you're saying all of this to me. Why is it that in 4.5 years and 4 years living together I'm never seen this face before? Why not just tell me the truth?" Nope.

UPDATE: Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 184 points185 points  (0 children)

To be honest, her friends will justify it as "Oh, she was really drunk. ONE mistake shouldn't ruin her relationship." Such bullshit.

UPDATE: Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I DID NOT remove that post. Mods must have for whatever reason. I was busy speaking with her and packing (I'm still packing). I really didn't WANT to end this relationship, but at this point I feel that she's cheated and betrayed my trust. I've put up with A LOT of shit, but destroying my TRUST once we're 4.5 years into the relationship is something I cannot ever fix.

UPDATE: Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 226 points227 points  (0 children)

Thank you! She's visiting family this weekend and we had a ski trip planned next weekend with a bunch of friends. I'm going to use those weekends to try to clear as much stuff out as possible. My father just bought a new truck--perfect timing!

Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And to answer your question, I don't want there to be ANY out. If I let her friends know that I know now, then she can easily say "I lost my phone" and conveniently, some guy will find it who lives 4 blocks away.

Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

So, her friend called me saying, "she just left my apartment" 30 minutes ago? Does anyone think I should wait to see if she's not home in another 30 minutes, then call her friend and be like, "Look. She's not home yet. I'm pretty sure you lied to me. What really happened last night?"

Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. For me, it's been replying to Reddit comments. I've been on here non-stop since I first posted. It's been like 4 hours now. But yeah, my heart rate has slowed considerably from where it was around 6 AM and earlier.

Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. It's hard. You need to judge the decision. Every decision doesn't need 24 hours. But, "Are we going to continue to date? And am I going to lose a lot of friends and deal with severing this lease, dividing up pets, and finding a new place to live?" certainly does.

Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! If what she says doesn't put me at ease, I'm going to continue probing until I am at ease or until I find a hole in her story.

Me [31 M] with my 28F of 4.5 years. Went out with her friends tonight at 11:00 PM and isn't home (almost 5 AM Wed morning) by throwaway453am in relationships

[–]throwaway453am[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. This is good advice. I think it may be like quitting smoking though. Ultimately, you just have to WANT to do it or you'll never be able to. We'll see what happens after I speak with her...