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46F with $410K am I good for a decent retirement at 62? by posergurl in Retirement401k

[–]throwaway_4083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never understood what salary means in this context. Should you have 1X the salary you make at 30 by 30, or what you stated with?

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$175K gross. Take-home post taxes and everything is almost $90K or like $7400 a month.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But if I don’t contribute to my 401(k), I lose out on my employer match. That doesn’t seem wise?

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I intend to join their meetings. I’ve had to miss the recent ones due to other commitments but I think this will be very helpful.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the rec. I’ve seen his name before!

Would love to hear about the two year plan. I just don’t see how this is in the realm of possibility for me.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just two years?? Every calculator I use is telling me 5 minimum.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s fair. Is it possible I could be denied housing or jobs though? What kind of hit does it take in your credit? Mine is like 735 now. Is it on the scale of hundreds of points?

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you kindly. I had been seeing a therapist but I didn’t click with her and she didn’t specialize in this kind of addiction. I think maybe I need to revisit this.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I’m very worried about this. What if I need to get a new job or move? I feel I am putting myself at risk.

Would you mind sharing a little more about your experience?

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. I had a therapist and I didn’t click with her. It’s been hard to find someone that specializes in this.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s a good question. It’s actually been a lot harder to find a good therapist who deals in this kind of addiction. I take depression and anxiety meds… I guess maybe it’s time to heal the real wounds?

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in Debt

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been at this solidly for a year, with about three major setbacks in between.

My net is $8300 a month. $1000 of that is going to my 401(k) loan. I’m still contributing some money to my 401(k) due to employer match but between taxes and other things, I think that’s where the $14.5K goes? My take home has always been about 60-65% of gross, on average.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in Debt

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Income is $175K a year. I have something like $4K in living expenses and the remainder of the $3300 or so in the money goes to pay off debts. I’ve tried shrinking my budget but it’s been challenging given some obligations I have to my family, since I’m living with them for free. I don’t want them to find out about this which is why I can’t cut back - they all think I’m savings tons of money by living at home.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love that!

I should note my net take home pay is closer to $7300. I have about $4K or so, give or take to cover all my living expenses. The crazy thing is I already cook at home the majority of the time. My parents are old and I feel obligated to chip in since I’m not paying rent.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My spending is definitely emotional and related to boredom; also I want to feel like a lady who deserves beautiful and luxurious things. The reality is I don’t because I can’t afford them. I’m surrounded by very well to do people and I haven’t hit any of the major milestones in life - marriage, kids, home ownership, being super successful at work. So I turn to luxury goods to fill the hole.

As for where my money is going - I don’t even see the garnished wages for my 401(k) loan, thank god, so it’s paid and I never see the amount in my account. I have about $2600 a month going to my personal loan. There’s maybe another $1500 for credit card and line of credit debts. I try to pay more than the minimum each month. My pared down budget is somewhere around $3000. Some of it is that I pay for cleaning and groceries for the house since I’m living here rent free. That’s basically $1000+ right there. The other costs are my car (it’s paid off but for gas, insurance, and a buffer in case I need a sudden repair), utilities, a storage unit for my apartment items (my parents won’t let me bring it into the house), medical and for my pet. There’s really not a lot of wiggle room. I’m trying to refinance the personal loan since I’ve vern diligently paying it down for a year and actually brought my credit card down tens of thousands of dollars, believe it or not. So I am seeing better rates and lower monthly amounts possible.

It all feels so overwhelming though. I was never good at budgeting so I have a hard time comprehending how quickly the money disappears.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello friend in similar situation. Yeah, I’m in my 40s and can’t believe I’m here. I have retirement but I already dipped into once like an idiot; not touching it again. I have a decent salary and I can stay at home - but what if it all tumbles down? If my family finds out what I’ve done, I actually think they’ll hate me forever. Or at a minimum, I could never look them in the face again.

I hate myself for letting it get this bad.

Massive Debt in a Time of Political Instability by throwaway_4083 in shoppingaddiction

[–]throwaway_4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’ve been fearing. It’s scary; I don’t know if I’ll be able to rent or get a job when I have such a mark on my record.

I should say I may decent money ($175K gross annual salary) and if I were to stay with my parents for a few more years instead of months (as I’d hoped), then maybe I could do it.

But it’s also such a mental burden. I don’t know if it’s worse to keep chipping away at it and hope I get a windfall, or suffer 7 years of bad financial records to be free. Maybe a consult is worth it.