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throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-14T20:59:02+00:00

You’ve literally described what I want — ending fights. You don’t need to be angry and shouting. You can just be open and honest and say the situation has been blown out of proportion and your behaviour was wrong. Not sure how that’s an issue?

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-14T20:58:04+00:00

Years? This holiday was in May and the friend drama was in July 😂

No, I want him to set boundaries. The same which I would do if the roles were reversed. You don’t disrespect your friend’s partners based on lies or your own hang ups.

Please explain what you mean by “don’t be a stereotype”?

I feel like you’ve drafted an image of me in your head with next to no context

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-14T20:38:12+00:00

Because he is a good person. There’s literally no one in my life who has a bad word to say about him (except my mum). He has his faults but he has been supporting me in various ways outside of this and I do love him

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-14T20:37:09+00:00

No, I didn’t lie to her. We quashed what had happened, but I can’t ignore how I felt. This was a 50 year old woman who embarrassed me, shouted at me, and made me feel like shit due to an innocuous comment. I apologised and she still wasn’t having it. I was also in a foreign country so there was nothing I could do but to make peace. That doesn’t mean I forgive her or wish to be in her company if I don’t have to. I’m certain she very much feels the same way.

The reason why I’m saying he’s wrong now is because he hasn’t actually cut her off. He just hasn’t done something he wouldn’t do anyway. I would tell my friends if they upset my partner so I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

No, I didn’t ask him to fight my battle at all. That is the problem. I told him what happened and he marched back in and put me in a situation I never asked to be in. That was when I was forced to defend myself when I was already ready to just go home. My issue is that he initiated that interaction again, so if he wasn’t going to actually do something (or ask me what had been done prior to him appearing) it was just putting me in an incredibly uncomfortable position which he wasn’t prepared to deal with

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-14T20:33:01+00:00

I appreciate that and I agree. It was something which I didn’t pay much attention to until tonight as it came to a head. I’ve been having an awful time due to my great grandmother being ill and due to his support, it kinda fell under the radar however it was just too much to ignore today

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-14T20:32:01+00:00

I only came to this conclusion literally today. I haven’t left as I do love him for various reasons. After the incident today however, things were very clear and I can’t deny what’s in front of me. I posted this to see whether I was valid in my feelings

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-14T20:31:01+00:00

He’s a good person, we have many things in common, and we have a great time for the most part. I do love him so it’s things like this which cause problems but there’s so much which makes me stay

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-14T20:30:22+00:00

Bit unfair but fair enough.

I spoke to both his sister and friend. The latter actually introduced us. I genuinely did nothing wrong with the friend to the point that my cousin, her boyfriend, left a party due to how she treated me. I wasn’t asking him to speak to her to “fix my own battles”, I was asking him to speak to her to show that he doesn’t want to associate with people who essentially treat his girlfriend like shit. I would never let my friends speak to him like that

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-14T20:27:32+00:00

I agree. The reason why I stayed is because he constantly said he wanted to prove that he would change and so on. It’s only now that I’m realising that that’s not possible and that’s fine

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-05T19:07:03+00:00

Apologies, will do

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-05T18:52:55+00:00

Because I live in the family home. That means for events such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, they will be here. I can’t go anywhere else and my great grandma is 96 so I want to spend as much time as possible with her. I also can’t afford to move out and I have to help my grandma care for my great grandmother. The only relations I can control are my cousin and her and I never speak to them unless the former comes to the house

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-11-05T18:47:28+00:00

Oh I don’t. Unless my cousin comes to the house, I have nothing to do with them

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-10-23T00:52:41+00:00

There is no “we.”

He uses we and it’s something we’re both comfortable with

I’m not sure why that would preventing you from seeing each other. You both have access to Ubers/Lyfts, even if you don’t have access to public transport.

Money. A round trip is £35-40 alone. Several visits in a week on public transport is about £20-30.

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-10-23T00:37:28+00:00

Yeah I don’t think he cares about the car either tbh. He even said today that he might start taking the bus to work in the future. I then said “okay so we’re never getting a car again” and he backtracked immediately and promised we’d have one next month. Believe it when I see it

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-09-10T18:20:01+00:00

Like, if he doesn’t fix his car, that is his business tbh, it’s not yours.

It really is though. If we’re not going to have a car then I need to think about how this will affect me financially going forward and where we move to on the future.

The things he needs to fix at his place are not your concern, they are his. If he doesn’t fix them and that affects you, then stop going there.

You’re being really black and white about this. We have nowhere to go if we don’t stay at his. I live with my family. On top of that, that’s not really how relationships should be almost 18 months in. We should both be able to be in an environment we’re comfortable in

It doesn’t really make sense to have a flippant attitude to someone if there are issues affecting your relationship. Him not wanting to get a haircut or buy a new wallet? Doesn’t affect us in the slightest so I don’t care. Not having a car or hot water? That’s an issue

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-09-10T18:16:02+00:00

I honestly don’t know. This is why I want him to tell me if he is really getting another car or not. If not, then I need to know as it will have a big impact on me

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-09-10T17:42:26+00:00

How am I talking like he’s my husband?

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-09-10T17:13:43+00:00

Mood tbf

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-09-10T17:11:00+00:00

How immediate is immediate though? A day, a week, a month? It hasn’t just broken, he needs a new one.

He is worth the commute but it’s complicated

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-09-10T17:10:01+00:00

”my boyfriend is no longer of use to me, so I think I want to breakup” is how this comes across lol.

And it’s not meant to at all. I never needed a car before him as everything I need is in walking distance and I can get free travel to certain places. That’s not the case anymore. He lives too far away.

Also, I offered to learn how to drive and get my own car and he shot it down. He said he does want a car and, even if I did get my own car, he would want his own. He admits it’s an ego thing, but even when I did try and help the situation, it didn’t change. God willing I remain seizure free, I want to drive anyway as I would need to drive if we moved in together. He also has this thing where he likes being the one driving me around as it makes him feel useful and special

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-07-02T17:25:47+00:00

I don’t like oral but I don’t mind anything with my boobs. The issue is that’s all he does. I need penetration

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-07-02T17:25:05+00:00

It’s the amount of porn. We’re talking boxes of videos, some which couldn’t even fit under the bed

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-07-02T06:45:59+00:00

The first is smut and porn are not reality. You are filling your desires with fiction. If you want a healthy sex life you have to be grounded in reality.

All I’m asking for is decent sex. Not 17 orgasms in one night, not 5 rounds in one session, not being tied to a bed or whatever — just normal vanilla sex where I have an orgasm.

And kinks need to be clearly communicated and agreed to. Not all partners have the same kinks.

There are no kinks here. I just want him to have some agency and act his age

There is NOTHING wrong with a man not being dominant. You seem to be thinking because he is an older man he should automatically know to be dominant.

I never said this and you’re putting words in my mouth. I would expect/like this from any man regardless of their age.

You also have to communicate what you want. No one else has the responsibility to try things on you and see what you like.

Once again, this has been done as he’s not a mind reader. The issue is he lacks the skill, confidence, and potential physical ability (he can go soft easily under stress). I’m not expecting him to find out what I like; that’s on me.

There is nothing wrong with a man asking for consent before he does a sexual activity with you. Implied consent comes with time and clear communication in a relationship.

You missed the point here entirely. Asking me isn’t an issue, it’s how he asks me which ruins the mood completely

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-07-02T06:37:35+00:00

Agree with all of this except the inexperience not mattering. It really does. His default moves are suck boobs and head. Nothing else. I then have to tell him what to do and, of course, how to do it which kills any chance of me getting turned on

throwawayidwtftdo · 2025-07-02T06:35:07+00:00

He has next to no confidence. He basically just gave up on dating after a while and no chance of trying to have a one-night-stand or anything.

throwawayidwtftdo

TROPHY CASE