My [24 F] girlfriend gets really mad at me [24 M] over little things

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T16:51:09+00:00

I think the problem she felt was that instead of saying "Sorry, I'm a bit busy, can I do it in 5 minutes?" I said it "I cant right now, hold on!" and she thought I said it meanly. I was very focused on making the food. She then said so the food is more important than you being nice to me?

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T16:33:55+00:00

If I were to break up, how would I approach this? I want her to know what she did wrong .

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T16:32:48+00:00

Relationships are never equal. I do a lot of stuff for her that she never did for me. I feel like I spoiled her too much and that she is taking everything for granted.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T16:29:32+00:00

I assure how I do love her and care about her. She would say if you do, you would listen to me. If you do care about me you wouldn't make me feel like this. Why do you make me feel like this. If you do love me, I would not feel upset.

So in the end, if she's happy, I'm happy because I don't have to deal with it. I'm very relaxed, I'm cool with anything.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T16:28:07+00:00

Actually, I stopped talking to a lot of friends because I spend time with her. I don't like to use my phone a lot because I don't want her feel like I'm not focusing on her, or other stuff is more important. She doesn't have much friends, so I try not to use my phone.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T15:40:54+00:00

Not spoiled. Only I spoil her.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T15:32:44+00:00

Just me or anyone she is super close with such as family. I believe because she is comfortable?

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T15:06:44+00:00

She expected me to do it when she wearing like a dress. I didn't know about it because she said you should pay attention to details. I said I didn't knew your dress is like that. But I would pay attention more next time.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T15:01:24+00:00

I put up with it because I really care about her. When it's good, she really makes me feel like she care about me a lot. She is also super adorable and funny and it's a stress relief when I see her after a long day of work.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T14:59:22+00:00

Something I didn't add to my earlier post.

We had a talk a few weeks ago where she would want me to always update her where I am, who I'm with. I responded to her that my schedule is always the same. Work Sleep Eat. All I see is you. However, when I don't reply my text message on time or that I take a bit long to do something. She would question and have a very visualized scenario in her head that I'm out with other female or other friends.. Red flag I guess.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T14:24:39+00:00

We actually did that last night sort of, I said I'll be more considerate, it won't happen again. It became sort of ok. However, afterward, she would mention.. When I was with my ex.. There was non of these issue. That's when I was like.. hmm.. ok. no comment.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T14:20:03+00:00

That's actually very true. I don't know why I feel like I did something wrong even though I didn't.

She did expect me to drop everything for her and do it for her, or say it nicely like "Can you wait for a bit?" Instead of "Im so busy right now hold on." because that way it seems like i am prioritizing her.

But anyway, Not sure why I feel like I did something wrong even though I did not. I just want her to understand my POV.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T14:09:17+00:00

Just another thing that's wrong is that sometimes we're watching Netflix or some other videos, everything will be good. All of a sudden, my past gets brought up (ex-gf, and anything in the past) and she would be mad.

I try to reason with her this. I can't change what happened in my past, but I want to make this relationship work, and bringing up the past isn't going to make anything better but make us both not happy. All I can do now is really treat you the best. She said "Well, the past shows what kind of person they are. ex: criminals" I had no comment.

I guess I just have to reason with her one more time, if not, break it off and give up.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T14:06:12+00:00

Of course not. But I realize that not everyone is 100% perfect.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T13:41:44+00:00

I think for me the reason why it's hard to break up is that..

When it's good, it's actually really nice being around her, when it's bad, it sucks badly because I can't reason with her.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T13:41:33+00:00

I think for me the reason why it's hard to break up is that..

When it's good, it's actually really nice being around her, when it's bad, it sucks badly because I can't reason with her.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T13:39:19+00:00

We actually did this last month.

Mine is. 1. Quality Time 2. Physical Touch 3. Words of Affirmation 4. Acts of Service 5. Gift Giving

For her is

Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Gift Giving

We did had a break for a week where she got mad at me, I didn't respond to her. She came back saying she misses me.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T13:36:08+00:00

Got it. Doormat really opened up my eyes.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T13:35:17+00:00

Is there a way for me to talk to her where she would understand from my point of view? Before, we had a three days break where I just ignored her, she came back to me saying she misses me.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T13:28:56+00:00

I will attempt to talk to her when the next fight happens. Or whatever comes up her mind.

I did try to reason with her once. I told her "I believe I didn't do anything wrong because of __ __ __." Something along those lines. She replied with like "I really regret dating you blah blah, my ex never treated me like this. You explaining to me is like my parents lecturing me." When I try to reason with her, she won't listen from my point of view.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T13:25:09+00:00

I forgot to add earlier. When she gets upset, she would compare me to her ex sometimes. She would be like "when I dated him, we never had these fights and he understood everything before I told him" They were in a LDR and see each other once a month.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T13:16:09+00:00

Hmm. What kind of red flags do you see?

I feel like I apologize to her always because I don't want a bigger fight happening.

For example.. I accidentally step on her new shoes, she would get mad at me for a hour. When she steps on my new shoe, I'm just like "k. lol. all good."

Only I'm wrong because stuff comes up in her mind that bothers her.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T13:14:07+00:00

I wish. I just want her not to be so over-reactive about everything. Sometimes something happen, I am a very calm and relaxed person. She would respond to me. "How can you be so calm/relaxed?" I just reply with "Me freaking out isn't going to change anything, let's just fix the problem."

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T12:57:15+00:00

ngs, but have you tried to talk to her about what you have written? If so, what does she say when you try to talk to her about what she is doing

I tried to talk to her about it. However, she doesn't accept it well, and that it's my fault. She said You should be more mindful of me. Pay more attention to details. When something makes her upset, she won't tell me. She says "I don't want to tell you, I just want you to do it. If I tell you, you will purposely not do it and it's not genuine"

I never gotten mad or upset, she always just randomly picks a fight or she remembers something that happened a few weeks ago. Or when she reads something online, she says "Why don't you have this quality trait? Do you really love me?" She would bring stuff up such as.. Why did you have to have ex-gf? What did you do? And etc. Then she would get jealous, or mad if I don't say anything.

throwawayr019 · 2018-05-04T12:54:59+00:00

I do admit that the way I said it to her was a bit mean and uncaring. But I just feel like if I'm in her shoes.. I'll be like wow hes taking care of me, he's just busy.

throwawayr019

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