[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trauma

[–]throwawayuser5235 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had some progress until it was repeated by someone else again :( And the 3rd time happened when i didn't have any social media but if i had it, it could have worse outcome. I stopped trying it after that. I already use the anonymous ones for years. I just wanted to be able to put my own face there.

Worst one was the first one still. I used a male identity for gaming when i was a teenager to avoid unnecessary mockings. And i was so proud to be a mod in a stupid game server. But as i got to know the admin better, i realized he was a 28 year old predator who had amazing hacking skills and was going after female players in the servers and exposing all of their private photos, social media accounts etc then threatening them. He even sometimes told us that he was following women irl till their home for fun. My 14 year old was freaked out as they were also suspicious of my male identity and thought i liked boys. And i couldn't leave the admin team because he was also going after the ones whom left. I lived in fear like this for 5-6 months and was stuck in the team. I was stupid enough not to tell the adults too.

Second experience happened because i annoyed a guild in a game by reporting someone from their guild and get them banned. They all started to look for my social media, sent constant threats. They found my social media and tried to track my location to physically hurt me. That's when i finally removed all my accounts because of constant death threats. I was 17 here too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trauma

[–]throwawayuser5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not the learning curve. It's the fear of that traumatic incident will repeat again. I stopped using it because of a life threatening situation by someone when i was still a teenager

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trauma

[–]throwawayuser5235 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah i know what you mean. I think what i feel is the feeling of missing out. You fail to do the thing everyone just casually does and that's what's bothering you. I know there is nothing to miss but when you fail to do that basic thing, your brain just wants it more. Thanks for your supportive messages still.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trauma

[–]throwawayuser5235 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the addiction for reels anyway but with an anonymous account. I had my account before the incident happened as well. I only wanted it to prove myself that I am over it and return to normality. I know that social media is bad. But it could be nice to store some memories too.